The Other Side of the Mirror
by shipperscifi
Summary: Elizabeth Weir had lost everything that mattered to her, but for the sake of Jonathan McKay she found it again, on the other side of a quantum mirror... NOTE: Although I was editing the chapters from CD to post on here, it's been so long I just dumped the chapters on "as is". I hope to get back and edit them at a later date, but at least the finished story is on here now.
1. Chapter 1

The world seemed at peace. Atlantis lay like a jewel on the glistening blue ocean. A quiet solitude shrouded the city and its inhabitants, and daily tasks were drawn out by the restful air that pervaded all. To Colonel Jon Sheppard, it felt like the hush before the storm. Something was coming, something that would turn their carefully crafted world upside down.

In the control room, Lt. Pierson leaned forward, peering at the odd readings flashing across his screen. They were out-of-place, at odds with the city's mood and completely contrary to all current data. He tapped in a few commands, cleaned up the signal and tapped the screen again. He could consider it a glitch and call one of the technicians, or he could rely on the expedition's uncanny ability to find unusual situations and call on his commander.

He opted for the latter.

'Ma'am? I'm reading unknown life signs in sector ten, level four, north-east quadrant.'

'How many?' the Colonel leaned over the console, her eyes on the screen. The lieutenant tensed automatically under the scrutiny of a commanding officer, especially one as seasoned and famous as Colonel Samantha Carter. Sam herself ignored his reaction, her presence on SG1 had brought her a kind of infamy and the best way to cope was to just to let it slide. Some of the stories had been blown out of all proportion anyway.

'I'm not sure, ma'am. One, maybe two, moving in very close proximity. The computer can't seem to make up it's mind.'

'What's down there?'

'Unknown. That sector hasn't been explored yet.'

Sam nodded, moving away. She caught sight of Sheppard sauntering across the main floor below in front of the Stargate, clipboard in hand. She'd finally managed to bully him into staff appraisals, as everything was quiet, life moving at an almost routine pace for the first time in a long time. Now, it would have to wait.

'Colonel!'

Sheppard looked up, catching sight of a blonde head and a hand waving him up to the control room. He glanced at the file in his hand and grinned, thankful for a break in his task and broke into a jog as he headed for the stairs. Taking them two at a time, he cheerfully appeared at her side, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

'We have unknown contacts in the north-east sector of the city. I need you to take a team and check it out.'

'Life signs? How many?' he asked, squinting over Pierson's head for a look.

'One, possibly two signals. But that's no guarantee. Take your team and pull Rodney out of his lab, it might be a technical glitch.'

Sheppard nodded and turned away, running down the steps and calling to Ronan. Sam watched him go and turned back to co-ordinate efforts this side. If the city perimeter had been breached, they needed to know how and why as much as by whom and how many. If it were a breach at all. But out here, on the edge of the unknown, you could never be sure.

'Keep tabs on Sheppard's team and have Connell assemble a team on standby. Keep me appraised.'

The lieutenant nodded, and turned back to his station. Sam returned to her office, catching sight of McKay, heading for the armoury, the sour look on his face already apparent from this distance. This was the bit she hated, not gearing up and heading out there with her team. It was the worst cause of stress she had, and she'd begun to develop a whole new respect for Jack and General Hammond, realising the burden of command. Taking her seat, she tried to busy herself with other tasks, ignoring the itching in her fingers for a P90.

Downstairs, deep into the city, sector ten was dark, power-saving switched on throughout and Sheppard was just as happy with it that way. Sneaking up on an enemy was a little more difficult in broad daylight; darkness gave them the advantage in a surprise attack. He lifted a hand, moving his team forward smoothly, covering both front and rear. They'd done this so often now they could have done it in their sleep.

Still, everyone was alert, eyes and ears open, each of them wondering if the Wraith had found entry to the city, wondering if the signals were wrong and numbers they couldn't hope to match waited for them in the silent, darkened halls of level four.

They closed in on the room where McKay had pinpointed the source of the signal. Nothing had moved, not a single shadow had flickered and Sheppard had already checked in with the control room. This was it.

The Colonel swung round the corner, weapon held high, ready to throw himself out of the path of fire. Instead, more shadows met his gaze, dappled with sunlight streaming through two windows, the others destroyed, glass sprinkled liberally across the floor.

Memories rose, bubbling to the surface and spilling over. The blast that hit them, when he couldn't get the shields up fast enough and Elizabeth was injured. The day of the attack, thee day he hadn't been fast enough, or she had been too quick to break cover. The day she trusted him too much.

The day she had died.

Or may as well of, despite the apparation of life that had continued on in her, Eliabeth had died that day, everything she was had perished... He pushed the thoughts aside, focussing on the task at hand. One day, he'd have to sit down and think his way through everything that had happened. In the meantime, there were bigger things to occupy his mind. A fact that he was grateful for; a gratitude that sometimes made his guilt bite harder.

He stepped forward, very aware of the open space on either side of the doorway. Harry, a new addition to the team, but a seasoned soldier and a good one, moved up on his right, ready to take the other side. Together they swung around, Harry facing a blank wall, but Sheppard found himself holding a gun on a very familiar face who, in turn, held a pistol on him.

It was no match for the weapon he had in his hands, but it was Elizabeth's favoured choice, the one she had the most luck with as she put it. Truth be told, she found it easier to handle, either physically or mentally, he wasn't sure. A smaller gun was a threat, a larger weapon was a killer. And Elizabeth had never been one to go for the kill.

But from the look on her face now, she might just have changed her mind.

A second wave of memories swept over him, emotions conflicting. She was slumped in the curve of the wall, looking washed out and beaten. Her face was scratched, a slash across her cheek ran with fresh blood. Even her aim wavered, but the determination he read in her eyes reminded him so much of the old Elizabeth that it could have fooled him if he hadn't known better.

Replicator!

He surprised himself with the anger that spilled at the thought. How many times did he have to think her dead only to find her alive again? How many times would he have to stand aside and watch her die! It was over now. It should be over, dammit!

'Put down the gun.' The barely concealed contempt in his tone was clear and Harry spun behind him, training another weapon, another light, upon her. Her uniform was torn, bloodied. She was hurt worse than he'd seen at first glance-

He stamped on the thought. She wasn't hurt, it was a Replicator trick, that was all. The anger fled and he felt as cold as ice. Dark eyes widened, flicking briefly to Harry then back to him. She was surprised. Confused. He could see it.

'Sir?' It was Harry, wondering why they were holding their guns on Atlantis' dead commander.

'It's not her, Harrison!' Sheppard's voice had the advantage of being sure, even if, deep down inside, he wasn't. 'It looks like Weir, but it's not her.'

'Jon?' Her voice - confused, upset, familiar; it bit deep but his aim never wavered.

Neither did hers.

'Jon? You're alive?'

'I could say the same about you.'

Her other arm was across her chest, angled up towards the opposite shoulder. For a second he thought she'd broken it. Now, in the combined light, she seemed to be carrying something, a thought that was enforced when she glanced down, just for a split-second and then back at him.

'I don't-,' her breath failed her and her aim wavered, she swallowed, starting again, 'I don't understand… I need to-to speak to your commanding officer…'

'Let's start with you putting the gun down.'

She hesitated, then nodded, slowly lowering her arm to place the gun on the ground, he could see the effort it cost her to move so slowly, but he held his position, watching her every move.

'Raise your hands in the air.'

'I can't.'

He almost repeated the instruction, but stopped, 'why?' he asked instead.

'This,' she nodded to the bundle she was hugging to her chest. Keeping his weapon trained on her, he waved Harry over. The soldier moved round her in a slow arc, never letting her out of his sights. She kept her eyes on him until he stepped closer and peered at her burden.

Tucked inside the armoured vest, under her shirt, a tiny face peered out, a piece of tubing still taped to his cheek. He shifted the focus of the torch, looking her over from head to toe. The body armour had been let out, he could see the straps were looser than they should have been. She was propped up on a rucksack, leant against the wall. Her leg was bleeding badly, a bullet or a stab wound, he couldn't tell from here.

'Je-suss,' Harry breathed.

'What is it?' Sheppard demanded.

'Colonel… it's a baby.'

The Colonel looked at him, his eyes wide. He nearly asked Harrison if he was sure, but stopped himself and spoke to the pseudoElizabeth before him instead.

'Okay, we're going to disarm you and then we're all going to go upstairs. After you've handed over the baby to Harrison. Ronan!' he raised his voice slightly, 'we need you in here.'

'I can't.' It was the Replicator, as he thought of her.

'Can't what?'

'Hand over the baby. He's very weak. Right now, I'm the only thing between him and freezing to death. I need to hand him over to Dr Keller, he needs to go into an incubator as soon as possible. He never should have been removed.'

'Then why-?'

'The Wraith.'

Sheppard nodded, wary, his sense of caution heightened under her intense scrutiny. 'You're dead,' she said again, her voice a whisper. She shook off the confusion, it didn't matter now. 'Please Jon.'

Inwardly he winced, outward, not a sign. 'Yeah, okay.'

He moved forward, leaving Harrison and Ronan to cover him. He found clips, another weapon, a knife and removed them all. He stepped back and turned on the radio, hearing it crackle into life, he'd been longer than five minutes and a relief team was probably on it's way down. When Carter said five minutes, she meant it.

'This is Sheppard. We need a medical team down here!'

A voice came back through, answering in the affirmative, then Carter was on the line and he gave her a brief rundown whilst Keller asembled her team. Finally he clicked off the radio and crouched opposite their intruder, weapon across his knees watching her with narrow-eyed suspicion.

'Jon. What's going on?' she asked, watching the wary faces surrounding her.

'You're a walking, breathing dead person who's already come back as a Replicator twice, what d'you expect?' he replied calmly. 'Now, mind telling me how you got in here?'

She lifted her arm, wincing, and pointed at the only intact window in the room. 'Quantum Mirror,' she replied.

'What?!'

'The windows, they're Mirrors,' her eyes slid shut for a long moment and when she opened them again it was to look down at the baby in her arms, listening for signs of breath. Apparently satisfied, she let her head roll back against the wall.

'All of 'em?'

She nodded, her eyes closed, losing the battle to stay conscious.

'Elizabeth!'

Her eyes jerked opened, her gaze unfocussed. Maybe it was shock or blood loss.. Sheppard shook his head, he was beginning to think of her as human, losing the firm comfort of believing she was a Replicator.

'Jon? Tell Jennifer that he was nine weeks premature…' she was fading in and out, 'his records… in the rucksack… don't let him die…'

'Who is he? Elizabeth! Focus!' She looked at him, but her eyes were vacant, like she didn't really see. 'Who is he?' Sheppard repeated, his voice urgent.

'Jonathan… Jonathan McKay,' her voice was a whisper, failing her, 'your namesake… we nearly lost him too…' her eyes rolled shut and this time, he couldn't rouse her.

Noise, outside in the corridor, voices and footsteps alerted him to the arrival of the medical team. Keller ran in, dropping her rucksack, placing her fingers against Weir's neck, her own shock at the sight absorbed by her automatic response to a casualty situation.

'Careful doc, she could be-'

'I know Colonel, but right now she appears human, she's in shock and she's lost a lot of blood. I'm not prepared to isolate and scan her first, we could lose her. Help me!' she instructed the medics who jumped to her aid, helping her remove the vest and disengage the infant wrapped inside Weir's clothes.

They worked in near silence, Keller barking short orders whilst Sheppard and team stood by, watchful for the slightest wrong move on Weir's part, until finally the doctor gave the order.

'Okay, let's get them to the infirmary!'


	2. Chapter 2

Dr Jennifer Keller stood looking down at one Dr Elizabeth Weir. She saw the face of a woman she had almost lost on her operating table, the same woman who had walked through the Stargate on a mission barely twenty-four hours later and the same woman who had sacrificed herself to save them all.  
She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Weir was dead.  
But she was here, alive and not so well, but still alive. She had come back before, as a Replicator, in one form or another. The last vestige of Elizabeth Weir had disappeared through the Stargate to a spaced 'Gate light years away where she and the others she had gathered around her could pose no risk to Atlantis. Loyal to her last breath, she had given her life for them.  
Again.

They had all seen it happen. Keller had watched as the glittering horizon had shut down and everyone had slowly dispersed, everyone except Colonel Jon Sheppard. They had left him alone, Keller reluctantly, wondering if solitude was the best thing for him at that moment. But there was nothing she could have said or done to make it better. It had taken a great deal of time, and when Teyla had gone missing, he had been like a man possessed, as if saving her would somehow negate his failure to save Elizabeth.

But now Weir was back. If this was hard for her, who had barely served under the Expedition leader, then how was it for the team she had left behind?

'Is it her doc?' It was Sheppard, interrupting her thoughts and Keller turned to see him standing by the door. But his eyes weren't on her, they were on Elizabeth.

'If it isn't, she's fooled me and every bit of equipment we have in here. Do you know where Colonel Carter is? I have to talk to her.' Rather ugently, as it happened, but she kept that to herself. The secrets Elizabeth held were no danger to Atlantis and she probably wouldn't want her personal affairs spread over half of Atlantis. Not that Sheppard couldn't be trusted, but Keller was always very aware of the trust that her patients placed in her, even when they were unconcious. Their lives were in her hands, in more than the physical sense.  
'Sector ten, looking over that room with McKay and Zelenka, trying to substantiate part of Weir's story. Is-is she human?' He sounded hesitant, the note of hope in his voice quickly supressed as if he didn't want to acknowledge it's presence.

Keller nodded, 'but she could still be a clone, we won't have some of the lab results back until tomorrow.'

'How about the baby?'

'Human. He's stable. It was strange,' she added, pausing for a moment before going on, 'reading his medical notes in my own handwriting.' It had been a hard few hours, between the return of Weir and the dicovery of the baby's parentage. Jonathan McKay, parents: Dr Jennifer Keller and Dr Rodney McKay. She had pushed the knowledge to the back of her mind, concentrating on the fact that she had two patients in critical condition.

She turned to look at the incubator that housed the smallest of the two. It was Atlantean in design, with some human components to restore it to full functionality. 'My alternate universe double did an excellent job, he's doing well,' which wasn't suprising. 'Dr Weir took good care of him,' she added, turning back to Elizabeth, 'despite her injuries. Knowing her, I don't think I'd have expected anything less.'

'True. But... you're sure. They're human?'

'Positive. If you want to stay, she should be awake soon, the sedatives have worn off and there's no real reason for her to be sleeping, apart from her obvious exhaustion. If she's anything like our Elizabeth was, that won't keep her down for long,' she added with a small smile, 'now, if you'll forgive me, I have a preliminary report to deliver.'

Keller headed in the direction of her office, collecting a file and stopping by the incubator on her way out of the infirmary. Sheppard watched her go, waiting until he was sure no one in the quiet infirmary was watching before he approached Elizabeth's bed, hands tucked loosely in his pockets. It was the first time he'd stood over her sickbed, although it had been a long time since the last time, and it was a familiar place to be. Despite the hope he had tried to tamper down since her reappearance, he found himself praying it was her this time, and not a trick or a trap.

But part of him was still cautious, all too aware that they had enemies out there willing to make a weapon out of her, out of their memories and yes, even out of children. Yet, unable to help himself, he found himself smiling as he spoke.

'Well, this wasn't what I expected when I woke up this morning. It's good to see you, though I hate to think how you got in such bad shape. You said something about the Wraith, and if you're from an alternate universe, Carter's gonna want to know a bit more about that, just in case, y'know?'

He paused, rocking slightly on his heels before going on. 'Oh yeah, they're checkin' out your Quantum Mirror room down there. Plus, you know, we need the whole background thing, security and all that,' he let out a breath, ducking his head for a moment before looking up for a quick glance around the silent infirmary.

'And I'm wondering how many times I gotta go through this, 'Liz'beth. How many times I gotta watch you-' he broke off before his voice did it for him and swallowed, trying again. 'Cos, y'know, I don't think I can do this again, not even one more time…' his voice trailed away, memories rising, choking off his words for a second time. With a sigh, he pulled over a chair, settling in for the long haul, a bedside vigil, like so many before, his mind still, quiet, running deep like a river.

The only peace he'd ever known was right here, by her side, and he took the chance to find a little of it again, a peace he thought he'd never know again.


	3. Chapter 3

'Tell us what happened.'

Elizabeth shook herself out of her reverie, still finding it hard to believe she was here, alive, on Atlantis. The familiar halls felt strange, as if she didn't belong here; here, the only place she'd ever really called home. She hadn't exactly been out and about much, she was still very much confined to the infirmary y Dr Keller -another stranger in a familiar mask. She cleared her throat and centered herself before answering.

'I came through a Quantum Mirror into your universe. There's a room, level four, sector ten, north-east quadrant, exactly where you found me. There are eight Mirrors there, although they look like windows. In my reality, we knew the room held Quantum Mirrors, but it was shut down, isolated, so no one could use it until we could decide what to do the technology. When I left, there was only one Mirror left. Now there's probably none.'

'Why?' It was Sheppard. To even look at him was a painful reminder, so she addressed her answer just over his right shoulder.

'I blew it up, probably seconds before Rodney overloaded the ZPM and destroyed the city, killing everyone inside it, including the Wraith who had recently attacked us.'

'So, you're still from Atlantis, and the Wraith are still a threat, but you're from an alternate reality?' Carter this time. She was stating the obvious, dressing it up as a question. It was a tactic designed to root out lies. Elizabeth recognised it and ignored it. She was telling the truth after all.

'Yes. Only in my reality, Atlantis isn't, well... it-it isn't this. It's not a military base, it's an entity of its own, the Stargate Programme has been running for decades, longer than I understand yours has. We came to Atlantis about ten years ago. Right now, it's... I mean, it _was_ a colony with families, almost the entire city occupied. It was a Terran Colony.

'A Terran Colony?' Carter again. The blonde woman in front of her looked much like the one from her own universe; she was comfortable in command, dressed in loose fatigues and the set of her shoulders indicated she was ready to jump into the fray at a moment's notice if the situation demanded it.

'Yes. The word _Terran_ was intended to distinguish recent natives from Earth from the rest of the Tau'ri scattered across space, although Stargate Command recruits from all sentient species, all colonies. The real potential of the programme never took off until you, I mean, until Captain Carter joined the programme. In my reality, you're a Commander in charge of Stargate Alpha, an entire world devoted to co-ordinating defence and research throughout the Stargate linked worlds. You're no longer a member of USAF, you resigned to join the 'Gate program when it began to run independently. And you're married with three children; the eldest, Grace, is a cadet, training to enter the programme directly.'

Sam's eyes widened and she exchanged a glance with Sheppard.

'I was in command of Atlantis, I have been for a few years now, but three weeks ago we detected Wraith ships heading straight for us hand in hand with an Asuran fleet. We have, _had_, treaties with the Asurans. It was tenuous but we were maintaining a kind of fragile peace... Jon- I mean, Colonel Sheppard, had taken a team to do a little reconnaissance. But he was..' she swallowed, hesitating for a brief moment as the memory threatened at the edges of her mind, before pushing it back and carrying on, 'he was killed, but not before he sent back the information that the Wraith had formed an alliance. With the Replicators.'

'What the hell would Replicators want that the Wraith could give them?' Sheppard sounded unconvinced of her story.

'The annihilation of Atlantis. We were a thorn in their side as long as we remained in the Pegasus Galaxy. The Replicators wanted Atlantis and the Wraith wanted us. Neither side had anything to fear or double-cross the other for. It was the perfect alliance, one we should have seen coming, in hindsight,' she had kicked herself enough for that oversight so she skipped past it and went on, 'it was our destruction, headed straight for us. We evacuated as many as we could back to Alpha, before the Wraith or the Asurans dialled in, blocking the 'Gate and cutting off our last escape route.'

'So how the hell did you escape?'

Elizabeth stopped, pausing in her story to fix Sheppard with an cold stare. The pain was overridden by her indignation at the tone of his voice, the betrayal it implied. 'There is no need to make it sound like an accusation, Colonel. I understand you're suspicious of me, I would be too, in your place. But _you_ wanted to know; it's bad enough that I see it every time I close my eyes. I don't need you making this harder.' her voice almost broke on the last word and she stopped talking, giving herself a chance to find her equilibrium again.

He has the courtesy to look slightly uncomfortable with her reply. But what she said was quite true, he'd been nothing but suspicious of her since she arrived; at least, when she was awake. She knew nothing of his bedside vigils.

'There were about twenty of us due to be evacuated still, including the only child left on Atlantis, Jonathan McKay. I was due to be evacuated too, but I waited, for two reasons. One, to do everything I possibly could for the military personnel left behind to defend the city, and two, for Jonathan. He was too weak to be moved and since I was being evacuated as well, I waited for him.'

'I thought you said Atlantis wasn't a military operation?' Carter asked.

'It's not, not as you think of it. The programme is independent, although we're closely allied with Earth. But we do have our own military and civilian branches.'

'So why were you, the commanding officer of Atlantis, being evacuated?'

It was Sheppard again. The question hurt, he could see that, the second he asked it. He almost wished he could take it back, but he steeled himself. It was a valid question.

'I'd rather not discuss the details. I'm sure you'll want a full report, Colonel Carter, and I promise, I will include every last thing I can think of, but I'd rather not go into that right now.'

Sam nodded. From Keller's preliminary report, she already had a damn good idea why Elizabeth was being evacuated from Atlantis, and she wasn't going to spill this woman's private business to the small council being held around her hospital bed. When, and if, she had to reveal privileged information, she'd warn Weir in private first.

'Thank you.' She pushed ahead. 'The Wraith were inbound, we thought we had time, but.. somehow they- jumped, on the scanners, they simply moved into orbit. Suddenly they were above the city and Jenny... _Dr Keller_... gave me Jonathan and I ran. I tried to get to the puddlejumpers, get to the mainland, or to a boat, get him away from the city. She stayed behind. If they couldn't stop the Wraith, they were going to activate the self-destruct, if they were stopped… she gave everyone capsules, stayed to-to administer her patients, the ones we hadn't evacuated yet. The Phoenix and the Thor were on their way with orders to destroy the city if it was taken. I hoped to hide out, maybe beam off the city if the Phoenix turned up in time. I hoped…' her voice trailed away and her eyes glittered with unshed tears. Sheppard was shocked to see it, Elizabeth had always been so strong, so self-contained.

'I hoped, that maybe, they could save the others. If they could hold out long enough. But the Wraith found me, at least, one of them did, after I made it to the Mirror in the hope that I could just hide for a while before returning. I killed him, but not before he'd managed to do some damage. I was in no condition to reach the others, I couldn't signal anyone… McKay sent a message to my pager, knowing the Wraith wouldn't be monitoring the signal. It said, "overload imminent, get away if you can"... That was it. I switched on the Mirror, set explosives to destroy it in case the overload was stopped and dived through. I couldn't-' she choked on her own words, biting back tears, 'I couldn't even tell him his son was safe.'

A tear spilled over, followed by another, tracing lines down her cheek, but she never seemed to notice, she was lost in her own thoughts, her own world, lost to everything but memory now. Sheppard couldn't blame her, no matter how different it made her from the Elizabeth he knew.

He remembered standing over the image of her on the operating table, listening to Keller's voice as if from a distance, hearing the words, barely understanding the import, taking in the only information that was important.

Elizabeth was gone.

'I have the last of the results back. If she's not Elizabeth Weir, then Dr Weir had an identical twin,' it was Keller, interrupting the potentially uncomfortable moment of silence that had been building, following Elizabeth's last words. She smiled cheerfully at her patient and Weir glanced her way, breaking out of her memories and quickly dashing away the evidence of tears.

'Jonathan?' Elizabeth asked, her voice strained.

'He's doing well, you can see him later, we'll take you over to him,' Keller told her, handing her report to Carter before turning to leave.

'Colonel Carter? I'm sorry, but I'm exhausted, can we continue this later?' It was Elizabeth and Sam turned back, considering her for a moment. Weir was pale and there were dark shadows under her eyes. At least they had the bare bones of the story now. She nodded and thanked Weir for her co-operation, turning away to speak quietly with Sheppard.

He was alive. Jon. Alive. When he'd died, the day he sent his last report and all they could do was listen as he had breathed his last on the end of a line, too far away to touch him, to even say goodbye... She closed her eyes for a moment, pushing the memories away. Her Jon was dead, and that was that. This man wasn't the Jon Sheppard she knew, an officer in the Stargate Programme, he was Earth military, probably still Airforce and his Elizabeth, as far as he was concerned, was dead and gone.

And all he'd done is regard her with suspicion since she had arrived. She hadn't expected this, she'd known, in a vague kind of way, what could happen, but her arrival here wasn't something she had had a great deal of time to prepare for. Him being alive didn't hurt half as much as the cold way he treated her.

Yet, when he'd spoken of his Elizabeth, his voice had held a mixture of pride and grief. He obviously mourned her, just as he'd respected her…. She sighed, losing the battle with sleep and sank back, realising the pain was coming back to varying degrees.

The conversation over, he was coming back, Carter leaving the infirmary. He stopped next to her bed, looking down at a face on the pillow that he thought, in some ways hoped, never to see again.

'You never said why.'

She didn't have to ask, she knew what he was talking about, 'no, I didn't.'

'So?'

Silence, he could see the emotion flickering across her face like a lightning storm, 'I can't do this, Jon, I never expected-'

'Yeah. Me neither.'

Her eyes closed and he stood there for several long moments before realising that she was asleep. He left a few moments later.


	4. Chapter 4

Jonathan McKay lay in his incubator, his vital signs were getting stronger by the day and Elizabeth sat in a wheelchair next to his tiny, enclosed bed, watching the regular rise and fall of his chest and listening to the machine that let her know everything was still okay. It had been four days since they landed in this reality and finally the news had come through- she and Jonathan had been granted asylum.

She hadn't cried, not once in her whole time in the infirmary. Everything she knew, every person, was gone, taken far beyond her reach. The Quantum Mirror, the only one left standing on her Atlantis, was gone. Even if she made it back to Area 51, she wasn't sure she's recognize her own reality from another perspective.

And she couldn't risk reality-hopping. Not with Jonathan in tow. If they entered a reality where the Wraith had taken over, or the Asurans, or Atlantis was still at the bottom of the ocean with her shields failing... There were too many variables, too many dangers. They had landed on their feet here and she needed to take the time to regroup and consider her next move carefully.

And she needed to grieve. She needed peace and quiet, she needed solitude before she let those walls break.

None of that existed here in the infirmary.

She stroked the tiny hand, wondering if it made any difference. Even if she got her head together and wanted to find another reality, would she be allowed? Would they let her take him with her? In this reality, his parents still existed. It was a murky grey area of legalities and moralities and now they were officially part of the system here, whatever the prevailing sentiment here, it would rule them too.

'I forget they come that small,' the voice behind her was familiar but Elizabeth didn't turn. A blonde head came into view out of the corner of her eye as Sam lent over the incubator, taking a closer look at the smallest inhabitant of Atlantis.

'It must be strange,' she went on, 'to come here and find only military personnel and civilian scientists. Although Teyla had her baby a while back, so I guess Jonathan here isn't completely alone.'

Elizabeth nodded, a question hovering on her lips, and she ached to give it voice, but the diplomat in her wouldn't allow her to be so blunt. Instead she tried to find her way around this woman who bore the same name and face as Cmdr. Samantha Carter, but wasn't her underneath.

'I'm surprised you don't have children of your own,' Elizabeth tried instead, kids appearing to be the subject of the moment.

'Well, in a way I do. When I was with SG-1, we encountered a planet where everyone was killed by the Go'auld. There was a single survivor, a girl named Cassandra. A friend of mine adopted her, the base doctor, Janet Frasier. But she was killed offworld. Cassandra was in college at the time, but I guess, or at least, I hope, I've been able to fill Janet's place. I tried at least, it what she would have wanted,' Sam finished, a note of sadness in her voice.

'You were close to her.' It was a statement.

'Janet was a member of our team, family in a way. If she hadn't adopted Cassandra, I probably would have.'

'What stopped you?' The Sam Carter Elizabeth knew was one of those people, she didn't juggle kids and career, they simply slotted neatly together like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

'I was offworld a great deal at the time. It wouldn't have been fair.'

Elizabeth nodded, for Sam it had obviously been a compelling reason, though she didn't really understand it herself. From her perspective, if the Terrans scattered across space had never had children, the stars would have been an awfully lonely place to live.

'That must seem strange to you. We've only just begun to involve civilians in the Stargate Programme, I can't imagine Atlantis as an outpost with full colonial status, families and all.'

'And I can't imagine it as anything other than that,' Elizabeth tore her gaze from Jonathan's tiny face with a wry smile.

'You don't have any doubts?' Sam was genuinely curious, 'I mean, you and Jonathan, not to mention the other children on Atlantis in your reality, were all at risk when the Wraith came.'

'That's true,' Elizabeth nodded. 'But the Attan, the Go'auld, the Replicators... they'd all tried to attack Earth, not to mention the other Terran colonies in my reality,' Elizabeth replied, 'people don't stop having children because they have enemies, no matter what the scale, personal or intergalactic.'

Sam shared the smile for a moment, 'I'm sorry,' she added, suddenly realising that this might not the best subject for Elizabeth to dwell, 'you probably don't want to talk about this right now.'

Her voice was gentle, with a hint of self-recrimination and Elizabeth felt her throat burn. She looked back down at Jonathan. 'No, it's fine,' she glanced up, 'you know, you're very like the Samantha Carter I knew. I wasn't sure at first... but now-'

'I am?' Sam interrupted with a smile, standing back from the incubator and folding her arms across her chest, a gleam of eager curiosity in her eye. 'How so?'

A short laugh escaped Elizabeth as she took in Sam's stance. 'Like that,' she replied, 'so bent on finding out something new that you jump straight in, almost ignoring other people in the process.' When Carter opened her mouth to say something, but Elizabeth waved it off, 'it's not an insult, Colonel, it's just the way you are. It's something I always liked about Sam.'

'You were friends?'

'Yes. As much as you can be across the gulf between galaxies. We had the intergalactic 'Gate bridge of course, but even so, journeys aren't made every day.'

'Yeah. It's pretty much the same here. So the programme never closed down when it was originally opened in your reality?'

Elizabeth shook her head, 'actually, it was, but it was opened, from what I can tell, long before yours. Both you and McKay are those once-in-a-millennia geniuses, and when you were both recruited into the Programme, it really took off. We colonised new worlds, made more alliances in a decade than the previous twenty years. We took down the Go'auld, the Replicators, but we're still fighting the Asurans and the Wraith. The Attan are kicking up a fuss too, they've only become a threat recently. Even evacuating to Alpha didn't guarantee the safety of Atlantis' people, but we didn't have a choice. I'm just glad I managed to bring Jonathan here. I got lucky,' she said somberly.

Sam wondered just how lucky she had been, and the question hovered in the air between them, but the Colonel didn't want to push her luck, Dr Weir stood on the edge of a precipice formed from grief, and Sam didn't want to be the one to push her over.

She'd have to ask Keller later.

'Speaking of Jonathan-,' Elizabeth began.

'You want to know what's going to happen to him?' Sam finished the question for her, knowing it was coming sooner or later. 'Well, Dr Keller and McKay will get first refusal on whether they want to adopt him, beyond that we'll find foster parents will suitable clearance.'

'What about me?'

'Dr Weir,' she tried to phrase the words carefully, her voice gentle, wondering if Earth, especially the IOA, would trust Elizabeth enough to let Jonathan remain in her care. It would have been unnecessarily callous, but Sam didn't underestimate bureaucracy, 'we can find suitable parents, you're under no obligation to take care of him.'

But Elizabeth heard the unspoken words and, in her overwrought state, chose to direct her ire at the wrong target, bristling at the thought of Jonathan being taken away. 'He's my best friend's son, Colonel Carter, it's my responsibility to see he's taken care of, by people who love him, not people with a high enough security clearance!'

She pushed herself out of the chair, standing to face the Colonel, 'we come from very different worlds, but would you do that Daniel's children? Jack's?' she demanded, forgetting that Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill both might not even have children in this reality. But she'd risen too fast, failed to catch her breath quick enough. She swayed, catching hold of the arm of the wheelchair, the room blurring.

'Elizabeth!' another voice cut through the haze. Intensely familiar, but she couldn't place it as the world turned grey and disappeared.

Sheppard took two strides forward, calling her name before she collapsed. He and Carter caught her between them, and the Colonel helped lift her into his arms before leaving them to find a medic. He carried her away from the incubator, sliding her gently onto the nearest available gurney. He laid a hand on her forehead, 'Elizabeth?' he whispered, his voice carrying a measure of urgency.

She coughed, coming round and then Keller was there, waving him away and pulling round a curtain with a look of worry on her face that had him a little concerned. She _had_ passed out, but considering what she'd been through, it wasn't that strange, unless there was something about her condition he didn't know. He heard her voice through the curtain, the whispered words too low to catch.

'Dr Weir, you have to keep calm, no sudden changes in altitude, okay?' Keller said, grinning down at her patient.

'I got that,' she replied, attempting a smile. It failed and Jennifer knew what was on her mind.

'How about we get you back to your own bed, and we'll check on that okay?' Her cheerful manner was a deliberate doctor's ploy, and it worked. Weir relaxed, not much, but enough. Keller swept back the curtain, 'I'll be back in a few minutes, alright?'

She turned to Sheppard, 'Colonel, make sure she stays put, will ya? No movin' around, Dr Weir,' she threw a mock scowl at her patient.

'Dr Keller? It looks like I might be here a while, and I'm not leader of Atlantis anymore, think you could call me Elizabeth?'

'Only if you drop the Dr Keller. The name's Jennifer.'

A real smile this time, and a little more tension slipped away. 'Okay. Jennifer.'

With a smile, Keller departed leaving her patient under the watchful eye of Colonel Sheppard. He wandered over to the bed, hands tucked in his pockets, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet. The sight was so achingly familiar that she shivered under the scrutiny.

'Cold?' but Elizabeth shook her head, looking at the empty infirmary beyond him. Carter was gone and Elizabeth felt a moment of regret, that she hadn't had a chance to apologise. The Colonel hadn't done anything to warrant an outburst from her.

'I'm fine,' she replied instead.

'So, the fainting was a party trick?'

'No. Just tired. Again. Dr Keller says I should get used to it, I hope she was kidding.'

'Why?'

She looked confused for a moment, 'why what?'

'Why do you have to get used to it?'

'Oh! Oh,' she paused for a moment, 'I guess she was talking about my convalescence. It'll take a while.'

'Huh,' it was a short sound, non-committal, but he didn't believe her. John Sheppard always knew when Elizabeth Weir was bluffing, or outright lying. And this version of her wasn't so different from the one he had known that she could get away with it either. If she _had_ been his Elizabeth, he would've called her on it. But, he reminded himself, this wasn't _his_ Elizabeth.

Instead of wondering what that sound meant, she turned the conversation around on him. 'Everyone asks me how I'm feeling. But I never get the chance to ask about you, or anyone else here. I guess you never expected Elizabeth Weir to come back.'

'Not a human version of her anyway.'

'Human version?'

'Repli-copies. It was a hard time for all of us,' he knew damn well it had been a hard time for him.

'You were close to her.' It wasn't a question, it was written all over his face.

'We were good friends,' more than friends. When he'd lost her, a large hole had been torn in John Sheppard's world. In his heart. His _soul_. Seeing her come back, and then disappear again... In one way he hoped this one would be staying. In another way, he dreaded it.

She nodded and looked away, suddenly unable to speak. She didn't look up again until Jennifer came for her. By then, he was already gone.


	5. Chapter 5

'Your quarters, ma'am,' the nurse wheeled her into guest quarters on Atlantis, spartan but comfortable and above all, private. Elizabeth could almost feel the internal sigh of relief. Armed guards were no longer at her door and the nurse stood there, explaining how to call the infirmary if she felt unwell, the route back to the Stargate, the central hub of the city and where the mess hall was.

But Elizabeth wasn't really listening, instead she rose from the wheelchair, making her way slowly over to the window where she stood, looking out over the Atlantean seas, until the silence echoed and told her she was alone.

She wandered around the room, finding the laptop and some files Carter had sent to keep her occupied. There was a dresser full of clothes, some of which looked familiar. She wondered if they had belonged to Elizabeth in this reality and if herself wouldn't mind her using them. On a shelf she found a large pottery jar with an Athosian look, and a picture of Jonathan that Keller had snapped and left in her new quarters. She smiled, making a mental note to thank her and moved on.

Sleep came and took her, eventually, and when she woke, she stood at the window again, looking out over the oceans once more. It was there, looking out at the horizon for the second time that the tears finally came. Her knees gave way and she sat where she fell, curled up in a tight little ball, willing the pain away.

She'd been shot, chased, knifed but this, this was worse than anything she'd felt before. Every familiar face, every memory, brought a fresh stab of grief with it and that was where Jon found her, crying as if her heart would break on the floor by the window as the waves crashed indiscriminately against the city walls.

'Elizabeth?' He looked around, hoping for some help, but no one was around, no more armed guards by her door, no medics to come running. He crouched next to her, reaching out a hand to lay on her shoulder.

She flung up her head, startled. She looked so vulnerable, so torn apart by her grief that it shocked him. He had never seen her like this, so-so _broken_. He did the only thing he could think of, he held out his arms and she rose to her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck, holding on like she would never let go. Her shoulders shook and he held her tighter for a moment before slipping an arm under her knees, 'c'mon, this isn't good for you.'

With one fluid movement he stood, carrying her over to the bed and sitting down, holding her close with one arm and wrapping a blanket around her with the other. Gently, he pushed her back to lie down on the pillows and took a seat by the side of the bed, wrapping one of her hands in both of his.

'You're cold,' he stated, tucking her hand, still wrapped in his, under his chin. A ghost of a smile touched her mouth, not much, but it told him that whilst her mourning ruled her, despair hadn't taken her. You couldn't push someone through grief, he knew, you could only be there for them.

And maybe, by helping her, he could help himself to settle the conflicting sea of emotions that swirled inside him. Elizabeth was here, she was back, she wasn't a Replicator, wasn't a clone, a trick, nothing. Yet, it wasn't the same Elizabeth he'd known. Almost, but not quite. Her experiences were different, they'd helped shape her.

'I'm okay,' she whispered, the same words her counterpart used, every time, even when she wasn't. He remembered once, and once only he'd ever heard her reply no to that question. And like an idiot, he'd told her she would be. He'd had no time give her, to let her be _not_ okay. They had never had time, it seemed.

'Liar,' and the word evoked the smile again, it touched her mouth briefly and then it was gone. Purely on impulse, perhaps driven by every regret he'd had since his Elizabeth died, he leaned over and brushed a kiss across her forehead.

It was a mistake, but one he couldn't bring himself to regret as he looked down into her eyes and then bent his head to touch his lips to hers. One hand let go of hers, sliding along her jaw, cupping the back of her neck and drawing her closer. Her mouth opened to his, and the kiss deepened. When he finally broke away it was to speak.

'Go to sleep.'

She nodded, curling up in the bed, the blanket still wrapped around her shoulders. He sat back in the chair, one hand still entwined in hers. He didn't let go until he heard deep, regular breathing that told him she was asleep. He stayed there for some time before quietly slipping away.

Elsewhere on Atlantis, McKay wired up the last console, elicting a spark and a charge. He yelped and jumped back, cursing at the control panel. Zelenka rolled his eyes and set up the program to run. Rodney double-checked the circuit and they initiated the software.

It locked in, retrieving the data without erasing it from the database. Rodney allowed himself a triumphant grin, one which faltered slightly when he saw Carter standing in the doorway.

'Um, Sam, well, and how are you?' he asked diffidently.

'Actually I was going to ask you the same thing,' Sam replied, a touch of amusement in her voice.

'Fine, fine. We've retrieved the data so I am, you might say, just dandy. We won't know what it says, naturally, until we run it through a translator, but it works so far.'

'Good. But I was actually talking about Jonathan.'

Rodney stared and Zelenka made his excuses rapidly, running off the find an item of equipment they didn't need. An errand that he planned on taking at least fifteen minutes for.

'What-what about him? Hmm?' he tried to make his voice casual but failed miserably.

'Pretty much, yeah,' Carter agreed, leaning on the console with both hands and staring straight at him. 'Rodney, much it pains me to admit this, we've been working together for a while now and I think I know you pretty well. Jennifer tells me you keep turning up to see him before running away again. I don't think it's fair if you leave her standing alone on this one.'

'I've no intention of leaving her alone-!' His initial outburst subsided and he looked somewhat put out with himself, his voice dropping to a whisper as he leaned forward. 'I would never leave Jennifer alone on this one, okay? I just… I need some time to work out… what I'm going to do,' he finished in a rush.

'Rodney, has it occurred to you that _you_ don't need to figure out what _you're_ going to do, but that you and Jennifer need to work out what you're _both_ going to do?' Sam enquired.

'Well, um, yeah,' his voice trailed off before he looked up abruptly, diverting the scrutiny with a question. 'What's the alternative, I mean what happens to him if we, don't…'

'Standard procedure is to find foster parents with appropriate clearance but Dr Weir had expressed a definite objection to that idea. If you or Keller don't adopt him, I think she will.'

'Uh-huh, so… she's not a Replicator?'

'No, she's not.'

'And we're, uh, absolutely sure of that?'

Sam shrugged, 'if she is, it's undetectable. Replicators can't fool the new scanners, Keller's dug around in her leg removing a bullet and had her under observation for a week.'

'Right, right.'

'And Rodney?'

'Yeah?'

'I'd like that data tomorrow, if possible,' Sam replied pointedly, indicating his workstation with a nod of her head.

'Oh! Oh, right, yeah. I'm on it.'

The Colonel smiled, pushing away from the console and disappearing back down the hallway, past crews whose schedules had suddenly been changed to include an inventory of sector ten. She was looking forward to Weir's report, with a little luck she might remember the location of other vulnerable points within the city, as well as technology that could be useful in the fight against the Wraith and, more importantly, Michael's hybrids.

Sam made her way to the infirmary, looking for updates on both new patients and found Dr Keller holding Jonathan in the crook of one arm, feeding him with a small syringe.

'So, how's our littlest patient feeling?' she asked as she made her way over.

'He's doing fine,' Keller glanced up briefly before returning her gaze to the infant in her arms. 'He can come out of the incubator for a few minutes at a time now, he's taking small quantities of food by mouth... It all looks promising.'

'You look at home there,' Sam remarked with a smile.

Jennifer looked up with a smile, 'yeah, you know, I could deal with this. No matter what Rodney wants to do, or doesn't want to do,' she added, her tone slightly derisive, 'I want a part in this little guy's life, whether Elizabeth adopts him or I do.'

'You haven't decided yet?' Sam was a little surprised, for a moment there it sounded as if Keller had made up her mind.

'No, I mean, he can't stay here and I have to, plus, I mean, who would want to give up this place. The work we're doing here, it's fantastic. I don't want to give that up. Not yet anyway.'

'Well, plenty of people here have families back on Earth. We could organise parental leave for a while. Saying that, Teyla and her son both live here. The Athosians and other cultures have found refuge here, families and all. I think we may be closer to Dr Weir's version of Atlantis than I like to think.'

Jennifer looked up, her expression thoughtful, 'ya know, I never really thought of that. I guess I was thinking of this as a military outpost, no place for kids.'

'Teyla doesn't seem to think so. Sometimes I wonder if the Athosians didn't have some kind of secret to life, how to live and how to be.'

'She gives that impression, doesn't she? Or maybe it's just the way she is,' Keller replied, her eyes back on the baby. 'Do you honestly think he could stay?'

Sam shrugged, spreading her hands, 'I don't know. USAF and the IOA will want some say in the matter, but you'd be in good company. Both Teyla and Dr Weir would be facing a fight for the same thing if the IOA decided to pitch a fit over it. As for the SGC... I think everyone realises that it's just a matter of time before our military outposts become something more, the Alpha site is supposed to be a refuge for humans from Earth, after all. But, in the event he has to leave, how soon before he's ready?'

'Not for a while, and I'm not just saying that,' Keller spoke hastily, 'I'd say maybe four weeks? Longer if he has any set-backs, but I'm not predicting any of those,' she finished, smiling down at the baby.

'Good, keep me appraised and we'll see what we can do nearer the deadline. How about Dr Weir?'

'Physically, she's recovering well, emotionally she's under a great deal of stress. She came by for a check-up earlier and I think the work you gave her is helping to keep her occupied, she's suffering from nightmares and insomnia but I'm reluctant to prescribe sedatives at the moment. It might help if she spoke to Heightmeyer, but not yet, I don't think she's ready to open up.'

Sam nodded, 'she's already aware of Dr Weir's situation, I'll leave it to her discretion. Keep me informed.'

'Yes ma'am,' Keller replied, turning her attention away, calling for a nurse to help her put Jonathan back in the incubator.


	6. Chapter 6

Jon avoided Elizabeth for the next couple of days, telling himself he was busy with the new sector inventory, missions that had been delayed until it had been determined that they didn't have a Replicator in their midst, paperwork… He sighed, throwing the pen down on his desk and running a hand through spiky, dark hair.

If he was truthful with himself, he'd been stupid, kissing her when she was at her lowest point, grieving and alone. Frankly he'd always thought of Elizabeth as, well, out of his league. She wasn't, it was a stupid way to think, but still- his mind wandered and he remembered the time she'd hugged him at the 'Gate, right after the attack, when each thought the other dead.

He'd simply frozen. The shock had dissipated and his hands had slid around her back. But it had taken too long and she had stepped away. Maybe she thought that she had crossed some imaginary line, and he hadn't the chance to correct the mistake, to take back his hesitation.

Another memory rose, the day, no, the minute he realised he loved her. When Kolya's voice, crackling over the radio as he stood in the middle of the storm, windswept and soaked to the skin by the rain and the waves, stated that Weir was dead.

In a moment, he realised that one, he loved her, and two, he was going to kill Kolya for taking her away. Pure selfishness, he realised later, but at the time it hadn't mattered. He just wanted to find Kolya and tear him apart. When he found out she was alive, he'd been shocked at himself and the cold single-mindedness he had displayed in the search for her killer.

_Then kill me. It's better for both of us!_

But she wouldn't let him die, not even when he'd attacked her, pinned her against the wall to force the soldiers to shoot him. The Wraith rewrite of his system tempted him to go further, to kill her. He could do it, he knew that. His strength had increased, as had his rage. He demanded she try again, tried to make her bargain for her life.

_I won't send anyone else!_

She would not send more people to die on a pointless mission, not even to save him. And if Jon had been himself, he would have done the same. It was that spark of humanity that had touched him and saved her life.

He'd watched her fight enemies from within and without, those disguised as friends and those who came as strangers; and through it all she stood strong. He'd never seen her break, not once, and it had made it easier on him. He had never had a reason to cross that line, to risk what they had for what might not be.

But the other night, when she was hurting so bad she couldn't keep it inside, when he'd seen her vulnerable and exposed, he'd wanted nothing more then to take away her pain. He sighed, passing a weary hand across his face. The lines were blurring between the Elizabeth he had known and the one who had reappeared in the heart of Atlantis.

And he wasn't even sure he wanted to stop it happening. It didn't help that he knew their own Elizabeth would have encouraged him. She would have told that life wasn't lived if you weren't willing to risk it for the things you considered most important. She would have told him to be happy.

Alternate reality double or not, Elizabeth Weir, in any guise, was the most important thing in his world. He wondered if she had been close to her reality's version of him. He saw the moment they'd found her in his mind's eye. She hadn't been able to tear her gaze away from his, and had seemed fascinated by the mere fact that he was alive.

He had died in her reality. The question was, had she lost _him_? Or just lost another colleague? Exasperated with himself, and the constant stream of memories and questions running through his head, Jon threw down the pen and pushed himself out of his chair.

The plan had been to go running, or find Ronan and spar until he saw spots; he wanted to make himself too tired to think. Instead he found himself walking down the hallway outside her quarters. He stopped at her door, hesitating before the quiet chime inside gave him away. He heard a voice call out. The door slid open under his hands and he stepped inside.

She was curled up in a chair by the window, a laptop balanced on her knees, but he had the impression she hadn't done much work. Her position was too convenient for watching the ocean outside. He wondered if she missed the balcony outside her office.

'Jon,' she turned her head to greet him, the flicker of suprise quickly masked by courtesy. Ever the diplomat, but it stung that she might think she had to put on an act with him.

'Elizabeth.'

His tone alerted her and she frowned slightly, watching him, 'something wrong?'

'_No!_' his reply was immediate, 'I mean, yes, everything's wrong… even though it isn't.' There was a reason he hated introspection.

The smile widened, she understood, she always had. The diplomat fell away and he was left with the friend. 'I'd offer you a coffee but-' she spread her hands to indicate the sparse apartment, a touch of humour in her eyes.

He shook his head, the familiar half-smile returning, 'it's fine. Look, 'Liz'beth, I need to ask you a question.'

She waited expectantly, and he paused, acutely aware of how uncomfortable he felt. 'Were you and Sheppard... Sorry, what I mean to say-' he paused, unsure who to go on.

Elizabeth sighed lightly, putting aside the laptop. She indicated a chair nearby, and he took the hint, crossing the room to sit down opposite her. He perched on the edge of the seat, watching her. The intense scrutiny from his familiar features and the uneasiness that had settled between them, served only to fuel her nervousness. She found herself falling back into diplomatic mode, distancing herself from the story to be able to tell it.

'He and I, we... well, we'd been together a while. Despite the dynamics of my world, Jon, I understood the difficulties of a relationship with someone who would effectively be my second in command. Regardless, spending day in, day out with someone makes you highly aware of them. Their skills, abilites and habits become second nature to you. We had a rocky beginning, but it didn't take long for us overcome it.'

The memories swept her up, and she was barely aware of relaying them as they ran through her mind. She had spent just a few years on Atlantis, but it had felt like so much longer, and she wouldn't have traded a moment of it for worlds. Especially not her time with him.

She remembered the outpost in Antarctica where her training for the Stargate Programme had begun, the move to Alpha, and meeting Colonel Carter. She'd had dinner with them the night before leaving for Atlantis and there she had met Jon Sheppard, commander of the city's military forces. He was cocky, funny and held her opinion in no high regard at first. He obeyed the chain of command, for the most part, but as time went by, mutual respect turned to friendship. By the time six months had passed, they would have entrusted their lives to one another.

And they often did, when they fought, side by side, against the Replicators and the Wraith, the infighting amongst the Ta'uri colonies, and the politicking between Earth and the Terran worlds.

On her birthday, he'd given her a statuette. He'd gone to the mainland, the Athosian market and spent nearly a whole day of downtime looking for a gift. She had been standing on the balcony beyond her office watching waves when he had appeared, handing her a cloth-wrapped bundle under the early evening stars and that was where they had kissed for the first time, with only the wind and the waves for a witness.

But then McKay had come running, the Wraith had attacked an allied world and they'd only seen each other in passing for the next week.

She remembered Kolya, the insane soldier who had held a gun on her and the face of his hostage, a young cadet whose name, but not face, escaped her. She remembered shooting him, and the nightmares it gave her afterwards, sleepwalking. Jon had found her standing by the 'Gate, crying over the body of a dead cadet who wasn't there.

She looked out over the oceans now, thinking of the beasts that had once lurked in their depths, the ones that had come to warn them of a natural disaster that threatened to engulf the whole planet, plaguing their minds with visions and ghosts, leading to a mass evacuation. A skeletal crew had remained behind, each falling under the psychic assault until she herself had finally succumbed.

Vague memories carried his voice back into her mind, calling her name. And then she was lifted, carried to the infirmary as she slipped in and out of consciousness. She'd remarked later, one evening when the city was quiet, that she was sorry she had missed it and he had swept her up again, standing on the balcony and she admitted, if only to herself, that she loved him.

The verbal confession came later, when he came back from a mission, half-dead and severely wounded. Keller and her team saved his life. Just.

_I love you._ He had smiled, saying nothing before he slipped back into sleep.

The words finally found their way out of him when an attack on the city sent her back into the infirmary. A high powered blast had set her flying, and for a time Keller had thought she wouldn't make it. When she finally woke up, Jennifer had already sent him away to get some sleep. He had come running back and when they were finally alone, he told her.

She smiled at the remembrance, her fingers touching her mouth unconsciously as ghost kissed memory and the tears began to fall as the memory of his death touched her again. The transmission, his voice faltering as his wounds claimed him. Rodney had stayed with her that night, and she'd cried herself to sleep in the arms of a friend.

He had given his life to warn the city, knowing they would evacuate to Alpha. If he had to die, it's the death he would have chosen, the same one she would have, saving his people, his family.

'I never expected anything less of him. When he took the 'Jumper and left that day, I knew the chances of him coming back were almost non-existent, but he had to go. Oh God-!' the diplomat gave way and left the woman behind, sick and shaking with memories she couldn't control. Elizabeth covered her face with her hands and wept.

If anyone else had been in the room, she would never have gotten started on all of this, never risked breaching the wall that kept her emotions under control and kept her sane by day. As it was, she could never hide anything from Jon Sheppard, and she was too worn down to even try.

He enfolded her in warm arms, holding her tight against his chest as he murmured words of understanding. An understanding born of his own grief, when he had lost Elizabeth for the first time. He spoke from his own experience, and as his words flowed, Elizabeth gleaned a small glimpse at what it must have been like for them in this reality.

Part of her was thankful that she had had so much time with her Jon, no one looking to interfere either way. The attraction they'd try to deny had blossomed into something more. In the end she had lost, but even in the midst of grief she could admit that losing him was better than never having known him at all.

When he kissed her, not one part of her forgot who was, but his scent, his taste... they were all too familiar for her to resist. Her mouth opened beneath his and her arms wound tightly around his neck. He felt her respond under his hands and kissed her harder, pushing her up against the window behind them. The taste of her drowned him, drew him under and, with her in his arms, all the confusion of the past few days disappeared.

He didn't want any regrets, not this time.

For a long moment, Elizabeth let go of everything but him. It was only when another memory intruded that she broke away. It should have brought her joy, she realised, but now the thought was only chased by grief.

'Jon,' his name, spoken in a low, warning tone, bringing him to his senses. He drew back, swearing softly to himself; the one thing he had berated himself for doing the last time he had been here in her quarters, and now he was repeating his mistake all over again.

'Sorry, I shouldn't have-,' he began.

'_No!_' Her denial was quick. 'No,' she repeated quietly, 'it's just. You're not him. You're not the Jon Sheppard I knew, and I can't pretend you are.'

'Is that what you think I'm doing?' His voice held a tone of incredulity. Did she think so little of him? Despite having only known each other a few days, they had each known their counterparts for what felt like a lifetime. Not the same person, sure, but close. Close enough that she should have known better.

'_Are_ you?' It hadn't occurred to her before, but his question threw up the possibility and for a moment she wasn't sure if she felt jealous, angry or understood his motives. If she was angry though, she had to admit, it was directed more at herself.

'_No!_ Dammit 'Liz'beth!' He turned, striding away across the room, and she realised that she had unwittingly caused a breach between them.

He turned back, his eyes bleak. 'I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry.' He wasn't sure he meant it, and he sure as hell didn't sound like it. It was an empty courtesy, something he felt he should say rather than what he wanted. She hated the sound of it, he had never retreated behind such a shield with her. Not even when she'd met another counterpart of his, an old man who had lived ten thousand years through the history of Atlantis, just to see her new crew safe home again.

She opened her mouth, although she wasn't sure what to say. But it was too late, he was gone, the door sliding shut with a soft click behind him. She sank into the nearest chair, the one he had briefly occupied, and covered her face with her hands.

This wasn't how it should have been.


	7. Chapter 7

The Wraith were coming.

Henderson knew it first. The Wraith half-breed in their midst had picked up rumours during his travels, and he had come with a wave of survivors from a Wraith attack, to Atlantis, to offer his help. He had proven his loyalty to them long ago, and with Keller's help, he'd controlled his hunger. Elizabeth privately wondered if he gave in to it once in a while, but it was her nature to be pessimistic, deep inside where no-one saw. She never tried to stop the small voice of suspicious in the back of her head. In a hostile galaxy, it kept her prepared.

Henderson had briefed them on the situation. It was the worst of news. A large Wraith force, heading for Atlantis and making no bones about their destination. They intended to wipe out the entire colony and they were killing whole populations as they went. It didn't take long to decide on a counter-response. Sheppard was to take a team and determine the proximity of the threat. Elizabeth would prepare Atlantis for evacuation.

Everyone went into a state of high alert, Alpha had been warned and personnel on Atlantis were told to pack a single bag of things they could not bear to leave behind. It was not the first time, and Elizabeth hoped, in a strange way, that it would not be the last. For the next eight hours they didn't even see each other, busy with their own responsibilities.

Elizabeth kept it together all day, through debriefs and meetings, making a point to drop in on McKay. He was too busy to leave his station and she kept him up to date with the status from the medical bay. Jennifer had gone into labour much earlier than expected. Her short but difficult labour had ended with the baby in an incubator and she sat at his side, white-faced but recovering, watching each breath with intense scrutiny, giving her orders for the deployment of medical aid to the refugees who had come in with Henderson and the packing up of the medical labs and files. Elizabeth felt that the least she could do was let McKay know how his son was doing.

It wasn't a position she envied him for. She could only hope that she and Jon would never find themselves in the same situation. But when she dropped back into the infirmary later that day, Keller had news that shocked her.

They hadn't even thought about a family yet, but the blood test Keller had ordered yesterday was quite clear. In the flood of refugees over the weeks before Henderson arrived, Elizabeth had forgotten to renew her shots. By the time she could breathe again, it was quite simply too late.

'Liz'beth!' Jon hailed her across the infirmary, his expression grave, 'I thought you'd be down here. How they doing?' He nodded towards a quiet corner where the littlest McKay slept in his incubator and Jennifer hovered on the verge of exhaustion, checking over the reports on the Ke'lorian survivors who had come in that morning.

'We lost four more, so we have thirty-two out of three hundred and five. Of course there could be more on the planet. Jenni and the baby are both doing fine, she's wiped out but healthy. I was just about to go down to Rodney's lab. Are the preparations all made?'

'Yeah, we just 'Gated the majority of the survivors back to Alpha, they have more room to deal with them there, better resources for permanent relocation.' Sheppard scrubbed both hands through his dark, spiky hair and sighed aloud.

'Let's hope it's not permanent,' Elizabeth murmured. For a brief moment she was tempted to tell him, but not here, not now, in the bustle of the infirmary. She headed for the exit, waving at him to follow her. 'Come on, we need to check on McKay.' Rodney was working on a transceiver, one that would reach across vast distances, alternating the frequency according to a pre-arranged code. It was a failsafe- if no one made it back, the information the scouting team unearthed could still save lives.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, and when she stepped, exhausted, into the shower in their quarters, she finally knew why the past few days had taken their toll. But she waited until he'd stepped out of the bathroom and joined her on the balcony outside their quarters, before speaking.

'You've been quiet,' he turned his back on the ocean, leaning against the rail to watch her face.

'I saw Jenni today,' her voice was low, almost conversational. He wondered where the conversation was leading, Elizabeth didn't usually approach things at an angle, not on a personal level at least.

'I know.' He waited for her to go on.

'No,' she turned to face him, 'I mean _I_ went to see _Dr_ Keller. I thought maybe I was slightly anaemic, or the headaches were stress, but it wasn't.' His stomach turned, her expression belied the news she was about to deliver.

'I'm pregnant, Jon.'

She couldn't say anymore, she found herself pulled against him, warm arms wrapped tightly around her. He kissed his way down to her lips, and all Elizabeth could do was hold on, forgetting the pain of the situation in the feel of his mouth on hers. It was a long moment before he broke away. When he did, he held her by the shoulders, leaning down slightly to look directly into her face.

'Liz'beth, I promise. If I can make it back, I will.' He'd already told her this, this morning, after Henderson broke the news, and he would again before he stepped into the puddlejumper. She knew him.

But his chances were even less than those of his team. He would order them to leave him behind, but John wouldn't do that himself, not if he could bring anf of his team home alive. It was his duty, more than that, it was a tenant, one of a very few that made up the core of who he was.

And asking him to betray that would be like refusing part of who he was. She ached to do it, but in the end, she kept the words silenced. He understood, heard the unspoken and pulled her back against him. The tears fell then, hot and fast. When they cleared, she looked up and his own eyes glimmered.

When she awoke the next morning, the bed beside her was empty. She blinked in the bright light of the sun coursing into the room and rolled over. He was sitting in a chair near the window, watching her. When her eyes met his, he smiled.

'I guess I'll have someone to read War and Peace to now. We should talk to the Athosians, and Zelenka, both cultures have very good names. He has a sister named Sachenka. Did you know that?' She shook her head, sitting up in the bed and wrapping her arms around her knees, watching him.

'You know my mother's name was Paula, but I wouldn't recommend it. Even she didn't like it,' a wry laugh and she finally smiled. 'This is a good thing 'Liz'beth. The best.' The familiar half-smile, and that boyish charm shone in his face, 'well, next to you of course.'

'Of course,' she was nearly laughing now.

'Hey, no giggling,' he rose, came over to the bed and sank down next to her. 'I mean it,' he insisted, lifting a hand to cup her face, 'I love you,' and he kissed her, trailing a hand down between them, 'and I love _this_.'

She folded a hand over his and kissed him again. 'I was an only child,' she said, 'don't really want to repeat that with the next generation. So that means we get to do this twice. You up for that?'

'Anytime,' he grinned.

They'd treated it like just another day, like a normal mission with every expectation of coming home. But he was going into the heart of Wraith territory. If he made it back, it would likely be to collect reinforcements and use the intelligence they had gathered to make a strike at the Wraith themselves.

'Don't worry Lizzie!' Henderson slapped Sheppard on the back, 'I'll bring his sorry ass back home. Or would you rather I marooned him somewhere, give you a chance to do better.'

'No thanks, I'd like _all_ of you home in one piece. Got that?'

'Yes ma'am!' With a sloppy salute, Henderson grinned, shi one black eye shining under the lights and followed the rest of the team from the briefing room towards the 'Gater. A couple of the soldiers split off, heading in different directions. Sheppard had told them to meet him in the hanger in fifteen, unspoken permission to go make their goodbyes.

Like he was making his now.

They walked out to the balcony, watching the waves roll by before he turned to her. Digging into one of the numerous small pockets in his tac vest, he pulled out a small wooden box and placed it in her hands, folding her fingers over it so she couldn't open it.

'I went to the Athosian market on the mainland a couple of weeks ago, found a blacksmith there. He works in silver too and his wife makes jewellery. Nice couple. _Very_ helpful,' his voice was tight, like it hurt to speak, '-want you to hold this for me. I'll need it when I get back. We _both_ will.'

She nodded, and he let go. 'Don't open it,' the cocky flyboy half-smile was back, tugging at the corner of his mouth and he was his usual charming self again. At that she could smile. They kept their relationship out of work, away from the centre of Atlantis, but out here was different and she knew now why he'd led her onto the balcony instead of walking her to the hanger.

He was leaving her here.

'You better get down to the infirmary soon, I want a picture of McKay's face when he holds his son. I can use that to wind him up for years.'

'Like the fainting thing?' she tried to smile again, it wasn't working so well.

'Yeah, like that.' He settled the strap to his weapon, checking his pockets and the new transmitter on his wrist, the power crystal tucked away. He'd have to connect the two when he wanted to use it, for now though, it'd only get in the way. He didn't stall, simply kissed her, with no sense of urgency behind it. When he strode away he glanced back only once, lifting his hand before disappearing from sight.

Alone, Elizabeth looked back at the ocean, she wouldn't watch the 'jumper gate out of Atlantis. She didn't often watch them leave, she had at first, but in the end she had only looked down on the 'Gateroom when her teams were returning home. Instead she watched the waves, fighting down tears. It took some minutes before she was calm again, longer than she expected. When she left the office, activity had returned to normal, her absence wondered at by very few, the mere fact of it a calming effect on those who had watched Puddlejumper go.

If Elizabeth Weir was complacent, so could they be.

She had a lot to do, but the first place Elizabeth headed was the infirmary, she had a promise and an appointment to keep.

It was six days before the transmission finally came. The receiver had been monitored day in and day out. Rodney was taking his turn, scowling as he double-checked the frequencies, the program and rigged up a second in case the first failed.

''_Lantis!_ At-lantis. Th-this is Sheppard,' his voice was cracked and hoarse, slightly distorted by a misreading of the frequencies. Someone called for Dr Weir whilst Rodney cleaned up the signal and sent a reply. Just a pulse, no words, but Sheppard got the message. McKay had already shown him how to use the transceiver.

Elizabeth joined him as Jon's voice filled the control room once more. All around them, everything else was hushed as everyone strained to hear.

'The Wraith have... alliances.' He broke off for a moment, '-asurans. They're heading for 'Lantis. Can't... stop them. Evacuate and... set the self-destruct-' he broke off, breathing heavily. Suddenly Elizabeth could hear footsteps running, heading for them. Dr Keller raced into the control room, catching herself against Rodney, listening to the harsh breathing and other sounds that came through the speaker.

'Can I talk to him?'

Rodney nodded, the pulse had been for time-saving, but it didn't sound as if Sheppard were under fire, nor as if he were going anywhere.

'Colonel Sheppard! Can you hear me?'

'Jen... hey,' his voice was weakening and it wrung Elizabeth's heart.

'Colonel. Are you hurt?'

A pause. 'All dead... was an honour...' He was in pain, that was obvious, his voice barely above a whisper, but Keller needed more to work with, including first aid equipment. Elizabeth leaned forward, speaking into the transmitter.

'Jon? Can- can you get to the 'jumper?' her voice was calm, but the panic was rising inside her and she forced it down, her fingers clutching Jenni's shoulder for support. The doctor laid her hand over Elizabeth's, listening for Sheppard's reply.

Another pause, 'no can do. Destroyed. Wraith. Ship.' His words were coming in gasps now. 'Love you. Both.'

_'Jon!'_ His name was wrenched out of her, a soft cry. Then the transmission cut off, leaving only white noise behind.

'The power crystal burned out,' it was McKay. Keller was standing there, the look on her face horrified at the sound of a man, one of the men under her care and a close friend no less, dying over the radio.

But Elizabeth was straightening up, already moving past pain, shutting it down with every ounce of will she possessed. The mask she'd worn for the past six days almost melded to her. She couldn't let it go. Not now. Not in the face of this new information.

'So. The Asurans survived.' She turned to Clarke, her second-in-command on base and head of security within the walls of Atlantis. The other woman's expression was grave, but she revealed nothing of what she might have been thinking behind dark brown eyes. 'Start mobilising security teams, close off and secure all the outer sections of the City and prepare to evacuate all but essential personnel.'

Clarke nodded, turning away and Elizabeth switched her attention to Pierson, sitting at the 'Gate console. 'Dial Alpha, I'll appraise them of our situation and then I want you to co-ordinate with their 'Gate control to let through the evacuating teams.'

She turned to Rodney as the 'Gate began to stir to life, 'get the research teams together, evacuate all but the personnel you'll need to salvage everything Atlantis has to offer. Rip it out of the walls if you have to. Anything you can't take, set charges for a remote detonation. If they stop the self-destruct, I want to leave them an empty, echoing shell of a city. I want them to have _nothing_ they can use!' A vindictive edge crept into her voice and she closed her mouth abruptly, as if all too aware of the edge she walked on.

With a watery whooshing sound, the wormhole to Alpha established, but Elizabeth ignored it, turning to Keller, 'get the medical staff to ready your patients for transfer to the Alpha site, and then get back up here to brief Alpha's medics in full on what they'll be receiving.'

Jennifer looked shocked, but she managed a nod. Elizabeth fixed her with stern green eyes, grabbing her by the shoulders. '_Jenni_,' the doctor looked up at her, 'I need your help right now. Get down there and get your patients to safety. Got it?'

Her words reflected Jennifer's duty, what lay at the heart of her as a doctor. Determination slowly surfaced on her face, 'got it.' She and Rodney turned away, separating outside the control room, exchanging one quick look before they set about their tasks.

'Dr Weir?' It was Pierson, 'Alpha are receiving you,' he said and Elizabeth went back to work.

By the time their long range scanners showed signs of Hive and Asuran activity, they had evacuated all of the survivors, most of the patients and a large part of the technology. Elizabeth had given into her grief only once, that first night when Rodney came looking for her and found her sitting in the corner of the balcony outside her office, out of sight of everyone. She had taken just five minutes to herself, to let it out before it drowned her from the inside, but Rodney had forestalled her return to work and taken her back to her quarters. After she'd finally fallen asleep, he'd gone to the infirmary and let go of his own grief, holding his wife tight in his arms.

He'd awoken her with a coffee the next morning, his expression set before returning to work. Neither of them would let go again, not until the City was safe or in ruins.

There was little enough else to do except wait for the rest of the tech and the last of the patients to be sent through. Elizabeth had already sent through all the personnel and mission logs, plus her personal diaries, to the Alpha site. Another wave went through, then another, and then a wormhole established into the City. No reassuring signal came through, the iris held and then the ships jumped.

No one knew what kind of technology they used, or if they simply fooled the scanners with echoes. But the Wraith and Asurans were suddenly in orbit and bombarding the City. Elizabeth was in the 'Gateroom, with the last of the patients due to be evacuated and Jonathan in a mcguyvered incubator for transport. His old one was still wired into the systems of Atlantis. Elizabeth had learned his name mere hours before, and she had come close to tears again.

Although she had stayed this long, Clarke, McKay and Keller had over-ruled her insistence to remain with them. She and Jonathan had been due to go next with the other patients. McKay was going to set the city for self-destruct and then dial out at the last moment if help, already summoned from the Milky Way, didn't arrive in time. She had refused at first, but McKay had come down on her surprisingly hard.

_Don't be an idiot Elizabeth,' Rodney hadn't been in the mood for heroics, and he had learned a thing or two from Sheppard. 'Going down with the ship isn't anybody's plan, and it's not bloody honourable when you're killing the baby with you. Get the children out of here, Liz!'_

_'You sound like Jon,' but her tone had been harsh, not amused._

_'I know. And since he's not here to shove you through that 'Gate, I damn well will.'_

But then all hell had broken loose. And now, with Atlantis shaking from the bombardment, the 'Gate cut off, Keller bundled Jonathan into Elizabeth's arms. 'I won't abandon my patients, Elizabeth, but I won't abandon my son either. Take him and run. Try to get to a 'Jumper. We'll try to buy some time until the reinforcements arrive.'

When the Phoenix or the Thor arrived, they could beam everyone aboard. The last few patients couldn't run anywhere, so Jennifer was staying with them. Rodney was in the control room to ensure the self-destruct went through, or the shields held until help arrived, whichever happened first; and the rest were military personnel, here only to defend the one person who could blow up the City and keep it out of Asuran hands.

For the first time during her command of Atlantis, Elizabeth realised there was nothing she could do. So, she took Jonathan, and ran.

Up in the control room, Rodney watched her signal disappear into the labyrinth of Atlantis. His heart nearly stopped when he saw a Wraith beam through a weak spot in the shields. When the alien's signature disappeared and Elizabeth's and Jonathan's still pulsed strongly, he reinforced the shields in that area and locked down other parts of Atlantis to reroute the power.

The Phoenix and the Thor never made it in time.

Rodney McKay sent a last message to Elizabeth Weir and watched her life sign disappear into a room he'd been cataloguing before the world had turned upside down. If he had been right... her life sign disappeared and he breathed a sigh of relief, turning back to the control room where the last Atlanteans crouched behind a forcefield, weapons at the ready.

Jennifer stood beside him and he told her what he'd seen, passed along that flicker of hope to the others. McKay regretted dying, but not anywhere near as much as he would have regretted losing his son, and Jon's, to the Wraith.

A high-pitched whine was building, the last funeral dirge of Atlantis. No ships appeared on the scanner and he knew he had made the right choice. He reached out, and her fingers wound through his as the world exploded.


	8. Chapter 8

Atlantis lay in darkness. The ocean lapped quietly against its silent walls, and within, most slumbered. The skeleton crew on night shift went about their business with hushed voices, the peace only broken along the outer sections of the city by the steady thump of footsteps. Colonel Jon Sheppard was running laps through the deserted corridors on the margins of Atlantis.

Somewhere, lost in an unchartered section, a laboratory sprung to life and the soft tapping of keys indicated the presence of a crew member, furiously working. Across the city, far removed from and unaware of either activity, the infirmary lay in a hushed quiet. Inside Dr Keller slept on a spare gurney, on hand for the slightest change and two night nurses worked, sharp eyes watching their patients and the lone figure who sat, wakeful, through it all.

Elizabeth perched next to the incubator, watching the rapid rise and fall of a tiny chest. Everything that could be done was being done. As always, she kept vigil but never before had she wished so much that she knew just a little more about medicine.

Jonathan McKay had taken a turn for the worse.

She sighed, shifting position on the hard chair, her gaze moving from the baby to his mother's doppleganger, sleeping off a forty-eight hour shift. Wraith attacks were never pretty, and the survivors picked up by an Atlantis team yesterday had come in with hunted eyes and grief so new, it burned inside her chest.

At the end of it all, Jonathan had fallen sick, and Jennifer had continued working until she'd been convinced that she could do no more for the time being. But she had chosen to sleep here in the medical bay, ready to be awoken the moment anything changed. Elizabeth stretched, easing out the kinks in her back and rose. She was grateful to Keller for calling her here. She had worked with Heightmeyer the day before, trying to alleviate the emotional distress of the survivors, co-ordinating efforts to reunite the ragged remnants of families, and she had pushed herself hard to keep up. Jennifer should have let her rest, the medic inside her demanded it, but the friend in her had contacted Elizabeth and called her to sit by Jonathan's bedside.

The possibility of Jonathan slipping away before she could be roused and pulled into the infirmary was all too real. It was the reason Jennifer had called her here, and the reason she slept so close now. Neither of them had voiced the possibility, they had not needed to.

One of the nurses rose, coming around her desk and heading for their quiet corner. _Caitlin Stracks_. Elizabeth had a good head for names and details, a natural talent that had paid its way in her line of work. The brunette had mousy brown hair, straight and cropped close; combined with her tiny frame and large eyes, it gave her an almost elfin appearance.

'Dr Weir,' her voice was soft, entreating, 'would you like to take a break and go and rest. If anything happens, I promise I'll call you.'

'No. Thank you, I'm fine, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.'

The nurse nodded, but Elizabeth could see a hint of concern behind her eyes. 'I was just going to get some coffee, would you like something?'

She almost said no automatically, but stopped herself. Nurse Stracks was concerned and alleviating that worry just a little wouldn't hurt her. 'Hot chocolate?' she asked instead.

The nurse smiled, pleased to see her taking something at least, 'I'll see what I can do. Nurse Matthews is here if you need anything,' Elizabeth glanced over at the young man bent over a patient. At the distant sound of his name, the blonde head raised and he smiled briefly before returning to his work.

Elizabeth nodded, and the nurse disappeared, leaving her alone again. She rose, shifting from foot to foot, taking a break from the chair, her eyes automatically seeking out Jonathan and the regular rise and fall that indicating his breathing. For a moment tears threatened, but she was tired of them and drove back the impulse. He would be okay. He _had_ to be.

Caitlin returned some minutes later, carrying a small tray. She placed the coffees on the desk and brought over a mug. 'Here you go,' she said, 'real hot chocolate, or so I'm assured by the kitchen staff.'

The night crew included a couple of members of staff in the mess hall, and one of them had kindly whipped up a batch of hot chocolate for the newly arrived Dr Weir, probably in deference to her predecessor, Caitlin thought. Elizabeth Weir had inspired a great deal of loyalty from just about everyone on Atlantis, and she wondered if this alternate reality counterpart had done the same.

The diplomat thanked her, but was obviously lost in her own thoughts and Caitlin left her alone, checking on Jonathan and making a few notes on his chart before going back to her paperwork. She slid behind the desk and watched Weir for a moment more, briefly toying with the idea of ordering the woman back to her quarters, she was obviously exhausted, but she doubted she'd win that battle of wills. With a sigh, she turned her thoughts back to work. She would just have to keep an eye on the good doctor.

Elizabeth's mind was on a completely different matter, oddly enough, that of Rodney McKay. Jennifer had alerted him to the deterioration in Jonathan's condition and he'd come, this time walking right into the infirmary and standing over the incubator for a few minutes, just watching. He hadn't said a thing and had walked away with barely a glance in her direction, heading directly for Keller's office, where she was going over Jonathan's records, drafting a message for the medical staff of the SGC.

Elizabeth had heard nothing of their conversation and he had left a little while later. He hadn't come back. If she hadn't known his counterpart, Elizabeth might have been tempted to think ill of his behaviour. But there was nothing McKay could do here, no magic he could work, no last minute miracles. Rodney didn't like feeling helpless.

She wondered what he was doing now.

Back across the city, lost in an Ancient laboratory, lights spilled into the darkened hallways, and the sound of cursing with it. Across the hall, silent and still, sat the room where Elizabeth Weir and her tiny burden had been found. The charting of sector ten had begun.

But Sheppard hadn't expected anyone to be working on it this late at night. His steps turned him down the corridor and he slowed at the sound of movement, the appearance of the light. Wishing he had a weapon, Sheppard edged his way closer, until he could glance in the room, taking in all the information he needed in a second.

Back in the corridor, he rolled his eyes, wondering what the hell the scientist was playing at. He stepped into the doorway, arms folded across his chest, a light sheen of sweat across his brow. 'What you doing, McKay?'

Rodney jumped, turning furious eyes on his intruder. He turned back to the console. 'Working. What does it look like?' His words were short and sharp.

'Yeah. Got that. Anything else you'd like to tell me?'

'Nope.' His eyes were fixed firmly on his work.

'What's up? Zelenka break your favourite toy?'

'Funny, Sheppard.'

Okay, that wasn't working. He wasn't rising to the bait. John dropped the sarcasm. 'Rodney, what's going on?'

The scientist paused for a moment, as if wondering how to put Sheppard off. But the wayward soldier was stubborn, even more so than himself at times. He cut to the chase, maybe then he'd be left alone. 'Jonathan's sick, okay? We done now?' he replied shortly.

'What? When?'

'Sick,' Rodney viciously punched a key, 'as in ill, not well. Earlier today.'

'What does Jenni say?'

'Jennifer's done everything she can. She sent a message to Earth too, so unless someone's got some really good ideas, it's more or less up to him.'

John nodded. And that thought, he realised, had Rodney running scared. 'So whatch doin' down here?'

'Working! I thought we already covered this!'

'I mean, why aren't you up there. With Jennifer.'

'Why? It's not like he's- _my_ kid,' but the scientist refused to look up.

'Give it up, McKay! I know you better than that. Go spend sometime with him and Jennifer before something happens you'll really regret.'

'He'll be fine. Jennifer'll fix him.'

'And if she can't?'

Rodney dropped the laptop onto the console with a loud clatter and a sigh of frustration. 'I can't _do_ anything, okay? There's nothing I can do to help him, or Jennifer. What the hell am I _supposed_ to do, Jon, huh? Stand there and be useless. Sorry, _no_!' He picked up the laptop again.

'Spending some time with your, well, with the kid who's practically your son and your girlfriend isn't a waste of time, Rodney. Now quit embarrassing us both and get going. I can make it an order if it makes you feel better.'

'No. It doesn't.' But he pulled the power to the control panel and closed down the laptop, taking his time until he caught Sheppard's irritated look. 'Alright, I'm going, I'm going.'

Sheppard fell into step with him as they left the lab, hoping to walk the rest of the way in silence, but Rodney couldn't leave the subject alone. Now he had been bullied into dealing with it, he was determined not to suffer alone. 'Y'know, you're a fine one to talk. You've been avoiding Elizabeth like the plague, and you're practically shoving Jonathan on me. So, I might ask, what's going on with you?'

'Yeah, well, I'd rather not go there,' came the short reply.

'Same here, since I don't have a choice, neither do you.'

'Yes, I do. That's where this whole, me being in charge of Atlantis comes in.'

'You're not in charge of Atlantis, Carter is. Just because you don't _like_ that fact...'

'What are you talking about, McKay? I like Carter!'

'Please! You might like Carter, but you don't like anyone else sitting in that office. You never have.'

The words drew a frown, and Sheppard ignored him, refusing to reply, but Rodney continued baiting him.

'So, what I can't understand is that now you have Elizabeth back, and you're going out of your way to avoid being in the same room as her. It's been nearly a fortnight now!' Rodney didn't know about the little break there had been in that time, and he didn't need to.

'Rodney, she's just lost everything she's ever known, you don't think giving her some space might be appropriate?'

'You'd give her the entire span of a galaxy's worth if you had the chance. Why are you avoiding her?'

'_Rodney_, I said drop it.' They crossed the 'Gateroom, taking the steps up and turning away from the control room, their voices disturbing the personnel inside, shattering a peaceful night.

Rodney watched him for a moment, wondering what Sheppard wasn't owning up to to, before realisation suddenly hit, 'she's really got to you, hasn't she? She's _Elizabeth_, not a replicator, not a clone, but the real thing!'

'You know, McKay, even with the nanites, Elizabeth was still Elizabeth. I know some people never got that-'

'_What_?! You tried to stop me from reactivating her nanites! Don't be a hypocrite _now_, Sheppard.'

Jon rounded on him, halting their steps, 'and what if they'd taken her over. You said you were sure they wouldn't, but you _weren't_! And if they'd put Atlantis in jeopardy and Elizabeth was somewhere, still inside the body they'd taken over, what then? Ever been host to a Go'auld, Rodney? I've read the mission reports, would you like to see Elizabeth in that position?'

'_No_, of course not!'

'Well, it was the same damn thing, McKay! And even if they hadn't taken her over, if they had simply signalled the others, then saving Elizabeth would have destroyed Atlantis. You think she'd want to live with that?'

He didn't need to reply, he knew the answer. 'That was why I didn't want the nanites activated. Despite how it went down, I made the right call. And in the end, we brought her back just to leave her in the hands of the Asurans for months before they killed her. _Months_, Rodney. I don't even want to _think_ about what they did to her in that time.'

'I get it!' McKay burst out, turning away and starting to walk again, 'that still doesn't explain why you're avoiding _this_ Elizabeth. She's the same person, she's just not infected with nanites anymore. She was still commander of Atlantis, you were still her second-in-command.-' he broke off when he saw the look on Jon's face, the way he shifted his glance uneasily.

'What?'

Sheppard ignored the question, turning the conversation around instead. 'If she's the same Rodney, then so was your alternate reality double, and Jonathan's as much your son as his.'

'That's _not_ the same thing!' Rodney paused midstep to object.

'Yes it is.' The reply floated back to him as Sheppard increased his pace, heading for the infirmary.

By the time Rodney caught up with him, he was standing in the doorway, his eyes on the far corner of the room. Dozing in a chair Elizabeth sat near the tiny form inside the incubator, whilst Jennifer slept nearby.

A nurse caught their gaze and hurried over, her voice low when she spoke. 'Colonel Sheppard, I don't want to wake Dr Keller just yet, but Dr Weir really should return to her quarters to rest. I can't really order her, but-' she left it hanging.

'I can?'

'If you wouldn't mind, sir, she really shouldn't be here.'

'Why not?' It was Rodney. As far as he was concerned, Elizabeth Weir had more right to be here than _he_ had.

'Because this really isn't doing her any good. Little Jonathan is stable for now, she doesn't need to stay. I'll alert her if anything changes.'

John nodded, 'okay, leave it with me.' The nurse nodded, and went back to her desk, picking up a tablet computer before making her rounds. She was under orders to wake Dr Keller at 2am, regardless of the situation with Jonathan, and time was moving on.

The arrival of Sheppard and McKay however, stirred Jennifer to consciousness, despite them moving quietly. She opened her eyes to see Rodney sitting in a nearby chair, whilst Sheppard tried to coax Elizabeth awake from her awkward slumbering position in one of the hard visitors chairs. Weir finally opened her eyes and pushed herself out of her seat, blinking hard, even in the low lights of the infirmary.

'C'mon,' John whispered, 'you need to get some rest.'

'I need to stay here,' she replied, her voice low but insistent. Keller slid off the gurney, moving over to join them.

'Elizabeth? He's right, you should go. I'm awake now, I'll be monitoring Jonathan, and I'll call you.' She caught Elizabeth's elbow, so the other woman would look her way. She met Weir's gaze and held it, so she would understand what wasn't being said. 'Get some rest, _Dr_ Weir. I don't want you risking the progress you've made so far. Got it?'

She nodded finally, taking the doctor's silent orders. She laid one hand on the outside of the incubator, green eyes fixed on the sleeping form inside. 'Goodnight, Jonathan,' she whispered and allowed Sheppard to lead her away.

Glancing back, she saw Jennifer and Rodney, the former checking her patient, the latter hovering awkwardly before they disappeared out of sight. The sight was so familiar, so real, it made her ache inside.

'I'm glad Dr Keller woke up,' Sheppard remarked, his pace slow to keep in line with hers, 'that nurse wanted me to order you back to your quarters.'

'She was probably right,' Elizabeth admitted, drawing a startled glance from his direction.

'O-_kaay_... Sure you're not a Replicator?'

His question drew a slight smile, and she nodded, 'yes, thank you, quite sure. Jennifer was right, I shouldn't endanger- Myself.' She stumbled a little and he was also quite sure that that wasn't what she was going to say.

'Yeah,' he replied but he watched her as they walked, letting the silence return. When they left the 'Gateroom, heading for crew quarters, he spoke again.

'What aren't you telling me, Elizabeth?'

'Nothing, why?'

'Now, see, that a lie. You are a born diplomat, 'Lis'beth, in any reality, but I can tell when you're lying. So tell me now. Is there something going on that I should know about?'

She hesitated, unsure of what to say, and he gave her all the time she needed, until they were back at her door, and she still hadn't answered. He stood in front of her, arms crossed, waiting.

Green eyes met his, and he could see the determination in her face, she was either going to tell him, or she wasn't. Either way, the answer he got would have to content him until she chose to elaborate further.

'Yes, and I think you should know. The trouble is, John, I don't know if _you_ would think that, and until we resolve the obvious issues between us, _whatever_ that resolution is, I'm not going to tell you. I can't.'

He seemed on the verge of asking more, perhaps pushing the point further. He was a stubborn man. Elizabeth wasn't, or so she claimed, she was _principled_. And this was one of those times he figured her principles were stronger than his stubbornness.

So he left it alone.

'Okay. Goodnight, Elizabeth,' he said easily and turned, headed back the way he had come.

Behind him, Weir watched him go, wishing to could tell him everything, wishing things weren't so damned complicated, wishing things were the way they were supposed to be. 'Good night, Jon,' she murmured to the silence he left behind.


	9. Chapter 9

A soft chirping woke her. Half asleep, Elizabeth rolled over in the bed and picked up the earpiece she had been issued with. She clipped it over one ear and pressed the small button to activate the comm link.

'Weir,' she murmured.

'Dr Weir.' the voice paused, 'did I wake you?' it was Carter. Weir had kept some long hours herself, but Carter seemed to defy reality with her late night shifts and early morning cheery moods.

'Not really, Colonel,' Weir lied diplomatically. 'Can I help you?'

'Yes. In your preliminary report, you mentioned a people called the Ha'taal. There's a briefing in fifteen minutes, conference room, will you be able to attend?'

'Of course. I'll see you there.'

'Thank you. Carter out.'

Elizabeth disconnected and sat up, trying to clear the fuzzy feeling from her head. She had overslept really, but four am had seemed a little soon to get up, especially when she was supposed to be resting. But she had spent the whole previous day _resting, _and had barely done an ounce of work the day before that, watching as Jonathan made progress in slow increments. She wondered how much more _resting_ she could take.

A shower cleared the fog in her mind and Elizabeth stopped by the mess hall to collect a glass of orange juice. Not the perfect breakfast, but Keller would have her hide if she didn't have _something_, and she couldn't face food in the morning, not even normally, let alone lately. She paused on her way to the briefing room at the foot of stairs which could take either straight there or past the infirmary. Elizabeth mentally shook herself. Jenni would never bond with Jonathan if she were constantly hovering like a mother hen. If something changed, she would be informed. If not, she could visit him after the briefing. Making up her mind, she headed to where she was sure the others were already gathering.

She wasn't wrong; everyone else was there before her. An unusual scenario, in either reality, and she opened her mouth to apologise when Carter cut her off. 'Dr Weir, it's good of you to join us. Please,' she indicated a seat to her left-hand, noting the glass in Weir's hand and sighed internally. She should have given the woman a chance to wake up and eat properly, Keller had stressed the importance of Elizabeth taking it easy and building up her strength. But apart from looking a little pale, perhaps tired, Elizabeth looked remarkably well for a woman who had been through as much as she had. Perhaps the problem at hand might alleviate some of her stress, give her something else to focus on rather than her grief -it had always helped Sam in the past and it was something she was happy to offer to someone else now.

'Dr Weir, you already know Colonel Sheppard, Ronan Dex, Teyla Emmagan and Captain Harrison. This is Major Brannigan and Captain West. They returned from a mission yesterday after having made first contact, but they were chased to the 'Gate two of their team members captured. It was the Ha'taal; are you familiar with them?'

Weir missed the question at first, caught up in the tumult of her own memories as she looked into the face of Captain James Harrison. She hadn't met him on this side of the mirror yet and it was a shock to see his face, unmarred by the transformation that had taken place when he became a Wraith hybrid. She tore her eyes away and smiled slightly at Sam, pulling her role as a diplomat and expert on the Ancients like a shield. 'Oh. Yes. I am, they are a complex people with an interesting history but can make for a dangerous enemy. They need appropriate handling and usually, their reputation goes before them so infractions are rare.'

Sam gave a wry smile. 'I think we may have one of those infractions on our hands Dr Weir. Major Brannigan, if you please-?' Brannigan nodded, taking over for the report of their mission which had started just after dawn on a previously uncharted planet.

Brannigan was a man in his late forties, with greying hair and a stern expression. He considered Dr Weir for a moment, finding it odd that the same woman who had known him for the past few years on Atlantis would be addressing him as a stranger now. He had heard about the alternate reality thing back at the SGC, but he'd hoped never to entangle himself in it. Brushing it aside as an unimportant side note for now, he hoped this Weir was as insightful as her predecessor and began to relay the same details he had given to Colonel Carter barely an hour before. This time however, at Weir's stressing, he included more minor details and prayed they were of some use to her.

Listening carefully, Weir jotted down notes on the legal pad in front of her, switching her gaze between Brannigan and West as the Captain added more insights. She built up a picture in her head and compared it with everything she knew about the Ha'taal from her reality. Two of Brannigan's team had been captured and she could see the Major was angry at himself for letting it happen or, at least, for being one of those who escaped.

'I don't really understand,' Brannigan finished wearily. 'We slung our weapons as a gesture of peace and everything went downhill from there.'

'That's _because_ you slung your weapons, Major. The Ha'taal are a warrior-like people, with strict rules of conduct. By standing down your show of force, you were admitting weakness and thus deserved no respect. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but please, trust me.' Turning to Sam, she added, 'Colonel Carter, I believe I can retrieve your people, but the conditions under which a return to the planet is made will have to be very specific.'

'Such as?'

'You'll need a female leader, and you'll need to return with a show of force. I can brief your teams, but...' she hesitated.

'Dr Weir?'

'I negotiated a great deal with Ha'taal in the past, they prefer to speak in their own language, and there's an Athosian derivative that they use, but informally. It's their trade language. You'll garner more respect if you address them in their own tongue, however.'

'I believe Dr Weir is correct,' Teyla broke in. 'I have not had dealings with the Ha'taal directly and my people have not been in contact with them for over a generation, but once, long ago, we _did_ trade with them. They were known as proud fighters who would take on any challenge, they are one of the few peoples I have ever heard of who actively seek out the Wraith.'

'I see,' Sam turned the information over in her mind for a moment. 'Dr Weir, I realise that asking you to go offworld is risky, but I'd like to request you join the retrieval team anyway. You are under _no_ obligation to do so,' she stressed.

'Colonel, the Ha'taal will kill your men if we make no attempt to retrieve them. I cannot, in all good conscience, ignore that fact. I'll accompany the teams, although I have a request.'

'And that is?'

'I go as your appointed liaison. If I go as advisor, I can prompt from the sidelines, but I can react much faster if I'm directly interacting with the Ha'taal.'

'What if these Ha'taal aren't the same as the people you remember? Atlantis isn't exactly the same as the one you knew,' it was Sheppard, the first contribution he'd made to the discussion.

'Yes, I know. But many things are similar. If the same holds with the Ha'taal, I'll be able to adjust to differences in their culture faster than anyone else will be able to learn them outright. And I am a trained in such first contact scenarios, Colonel. Everything else aside, I'm the most qualified person you have.'

There were more objections, agreements, compromises to be made and the meeting dragged on. Weir briefed them on the various unique cultural aspects of the Ha'taal. Their society was matriarchal, with the women presiding over birth, sickness and death, as well as teaching, science and the arts. The men were soldiers, aggressive, and their culture, like others in the Pegasus Galaxy, revolved to a certain extent around the Wraith.

Whenever a culling party attacked, the women, trained to fight alongside the men even though they never engaged in active battle, guarded the children and their village whilst the men met the Wraith head on. They never lost the opportunity to fight the Wraith, and one of their coming-of-age rituals included a six month offworld hunt, tracking down and killing Wraith.

'I like them already,' Ronan muttered, from the chair where he lounged.

'We'll gain favour if we can give them the location of any planetside Wraith colonies. They usually also have strong trading ties with other cultures. If you can form a treaty with them, they'll be powerful allies in the fight against the Wraith and your establishment in this galaxy,' Weird added.

It sounded promising, but Elizabeth knew the Ha'taal were a touchy people. She would have to tread carefully. The briefing drew to a close, but Carter called to Weir as the others filed out, waiting until they were gone before she spoke. 'Dr Weir, I'm well aware of what I'm asking you to do. Are you _absolutely_ sure about this?'

Elizabeth nodded, 'if you don't try to retrieve them, you're signing those men's death certificates, Colonel, and if you do go, I'm the best chance you have. I wasn't lying about that.'

'I know, and I believe you. But I want you to be sure. I'll have Sheppard pull you out if anything goes wrong. Good luck, Dr Weir.'

'Thank you, Colonel.'

They walked back to the control room together, and Elizabeth left her to head for the gym. The retrieval team were gathering there and she wanted to show them some trademark Ha'taal moves before briefing them on how to conduct themselves in Ha'taal territory. The more prepared they were going in, the better.

Over an hour later, Elizabeth was sweeping her arm in an arc, and demonstrated a gutting move used by the Ha'taal, primarily to take down Wraith, but they weren't averse to using it on other enemies. She paused for a moment, finding herself wearied by the sudden punishing pace of the day. They were due to leave at oh-eight-hundred the following morning. Carter didn't like leaving their men prisoner so long, but Elizabeth assured her it was the only way.

'The team won't be ready if we go today, and the Ha'taal don't harm their prisoners. They consider torture as a sign of weakness. Again, I know that doens't make sense, since they _will_ kill them, but they see it as a humane and merciful way to end a worthless life.' Sam had frowned at that, but she had pulled Weir into this on good faith and she wasn't willing to second guess her decision now.

They followed up the sparring session with another debrief and Elizabeth left for the mess hall, turning her steps towards the infirmary on the way. It was some time before she emerged, one worry set to rest at least. She fell into line next to Teyla, holding her son in one arm and a tray in the other. Kanaan was offworld.

'Teyla Emmagan. Daughter of Tagan. How are you this day?'

The formal greeting drew a smile from the Athosian woman. In this reality, the Elizabeth Weir _they_ had known, had never had the chance to learn much about the intricacies of Athosian culture, or many of the other societies the Expedition encountered. There was never any time, but this Elizabeth had come to a flourishing Atlantis, already briefed on Pegasus' societies.

Elizabeth reached out, taking the tray from Teyla and walking with her through the line until they managed to move away and find themselves a table. When Teyla asked her to sit and eat, she couldn't find it in her to refuse, no matter how tired she felt.

'It is good to see your face again,' Teyla began, 'when we lost Elizabeth to the Asurans, it seemed as if the heart of Atlantis herself faltered at her absence. I know you are not the same person,' she added with a smile, 'but you and our Elizabeth are as sisters, and your presence does something to alleviate the sadness we have all felt at her passing.'

Sisters. Elizabeth had never thought of it that way. The Athosian's words warmed her however, and she smiled, 'thank you, Teyla. I don't believe I've ever received a nicer compliment. Speaking of family, I'm curious, the Teyla Emmagen I knew, and I'm afraid I did not know her quite so well as your Elizabeth-' she paused. 'That's rather cumbersome, isn't it? To refer to her that way. Would you mind if I call her Lizzie?'

'Of course. But why that name?'

'A nickname, from school,' she replied. 'I never knew the Athosian leader as well as Lizzie obviously knew you. But I do know she had children, and lived with her people on Athos, a planet we traded heavily with. How did you find yourself on Sheppard's team, living on Atlantis?'

Teyla smiled, understanding. Elizabeth wanted to know more about the history of this version of Atlantis. If she were to ever adjust to her new reality, she needed to find the differences and make herself a place here. If she were even allowed to stay on Atlantis. It hadn't taken long for Teyla to ascertain that Lizzie and Elizabeth were indeed very much alike, and it would be as great a crime to remove _this _Dr Weir from Atlantis, as it would have been for her predecessor.

She hoped that such a thing would not come to pass.

Elizabeth ate, listening to Teyla's version of the early history of the Expedition. When she finished, she held out her arms automatically, giving Teyla the freedom to eat whilst she held the Athosian's son and encouraged him to chew on some soft fruit.

'_This_ is more like the Atlantis I know,' Elizabeth said at one point. Toran had abandoned his fruit and was entranced by a never ending clapping game the new grown up was playing with him.

Teyla nodded, 'it would appear so,' she replied with a smile. 'I wanted there to be than Toran growing up here on Atlantis; and now there is Jonathan McKay, and _your_ child too, Eliizabeth.'

'If Jonathan gets to stay,' Elizabeth answered, before her brain caught up with Teyla's response and she turned a surprised look on the Athosian woman.

Teyla laughed lightly. 'I suspected such already, but some of the things you have said over dinner, the way you sit and hold Toran. I am right, am I not?' She didn't wait for an answer, but went on, 'Toran is allowed to stay, I do not see why it should be such a difficult thing for others to do likewise and I know he would enjoy playing with and looking after the younger ones when he is a little older. Now you know of my first days here, and it is too soon I know, but someday Elizabeth, I would like to hear you speak of _your_ first days on _your_ Atlantis.

Elizabeth froze, caught out by the sudden sentiment and even more overwhelmed by the feeling that followed it, that she _wanted_ to tell the story of her Atlantis, and not just the terrible ending, but the beginning of a fairytale, with all the good and the bad bits that went inbetween. Her Atlantis was lost, but it's story need not be. 'Thank you, Teyla,' she answered finally, unconsciously looking away to blink back tears, 'I would like that too.'

Teyla gave her a moment to compose herself, smiling at her son, laughing toothlessly up his mother's new friend. A look on concern broke the tranquility 'Elizabeth, is it wise for you to go to the Ha'taal world? I was foolish enough to put aside all thoughts of my son when I carried him and continued to travel with Colonel Sheppard's team. It was _not_ a wise decision.'

Elizabeth nodded. 'I don't intend to make a habit of it, Teyla, but there's no one else they can send. I can't just leave those men there.'

'I know. But what if I took your place?'

Elizabeth suddenly turned to her with a look of surprise, 'you're a member of Sheppard's team,' she stated.

'Yes.'

'That's a problem. The rest of Sheppard's team, Brannigan and West, Alloway's team, they're all male. You can't go to Ha'taal ranking as a soldier.'

'Then what do we do?'

'You'll have to accompany me as my aide. Do you have typical Athosian wear here on Atlantis?'

'Of course.'

'Good. May I borrow some? I have some Earth clothes, but they won't suffice.'

'Certainly. Shall we go now?'

Elizabeth nodded, rising and settling Teyla's son on one hip, handing him a wooden toy he'd dropped earlier. Teyla cleared away and they left the mess, neither of them noticing Sheppard and Ronan, sitting in a corner by the window all the way across the other side of hall. They hadn't heard a word of the conversation but Sheppard had watched the whole exchange with hooded eyes, his expression revealing nothing of what he was thinking inside.

'Wanna talk about it?' Ronan's dark voice cut the silence.

'Nope.'

'Okay.'


	10. Chapter 10

Elizabeth walked into the Gateroom at oh-seven-fifty the next morning with Teyla at her left shoulder in a costume that that raised more than a few eyebrows. She was taller than Teyla, not by much but enough that Athosian style soft boots had been replaced with military issue combat boots, high enough to tuck Teyla's shorter leather trousers into. The leather bodice felt tight, especially with the vest inserts she and Teyla had, at Teyla's insistence, tacked onto the inside of it. As a concession to the usual offworld equipment for Atlantean personnel, Elizabeth wore thigh holsters with a combat knife in one and a handgun in the other.

At her left shoulder would stand one of the soldiers, a form of honour guard and she had already chosen Sheppard for the job. It was less about how entangled she had been with his counterpart and more about how well she knew him a combat situation. She could trust him to react when needed and _not_ to react when _she_ did something unexpected.

Teyla was dressed in a similar fashion, and in her hands lay a cloth-wrapped bundle, tied with dyed leather straps . It enclosed a token for the Ha'taal leader, a ceremonial Athosian sword. It had been Lizzie's, one of the items she had been gifted from the various peoples she had met in Pegasus, and Carter had handed it over from the store of her things without a qualm. Elizabeth strode directly up the Gate and turned her back on it to address the assembled soldiers.

'Gentlemen! May I have your attention please!' Twelve pairs of eyes turned her way and Elizabeth lowered her hands, 'you've all been briefed, you all know what to expect on the other side of the 'Gate. From the moment we step we'll be under observation, so I ask you to keep to your assigned roles whether you think the Ha'taal are around or not.'

Nods and acknowledgements. The mood of the group sombre, they took up their pre-arranged positions. Sheppard edged forward, leaning in next to Elizabeth with a glance at her unusual attire. 'You can't go in that. You need to gear up properly before we move out.'

'Colonel, we covered this yesterday. If Teyla and I wear the same clothes as you and the others, we will be considered as warriors. Believe it or not, we're actually safer than you are. No male amongst the Ha'taal will attack a female except in the training ring. The only exception they make is when women take up the role of a warrior. If you act like a soldier, you die like a soldier.'

'Hm,' he sounded unconvinced, but he let the matter slide. He would have preferred her in full combat gear. Bare skin meant target practice and lots of bleeding in a tense situation. Teyla and Elizabeth took their place at the front and centre of the formation with Brannigan and Alloway taking lead guard. Sheppard sourly took his place at the right hand. The constellations glowed, and moments later they moved as one, stepping through the 'Gate on to the Ha'taal homeworld.

It took ten minutes for the Ha'taal warriors to emerge from the woods. Silent and fast, they surrounded the retrieval team. One man stepped forward, the decorations traced down his arm and engraved in his skin marking him out as a man of rank. When he spoke, it was in a harsh, guttural language that Sheppard failed to recognise, unlike other cultures in the Pegasus galaxy, he couldn't even pick out the odd word. And then, to his surprise, he heard the same language delivered in a cold tone from the woman in front of him. Elizabeth sounded like she handing them an ultimatum, and his grip tightened on his weapon, waiting for the moment all hell broke loose.

But the leader of the Ha'taal men surrounding them lowered his weapon. With a respectful bow to Weir and glare for the men, he turned, ordering everyone forward. Jon didn't need to speak their language to recognise a direct command. His men moved, but the Atlanteans waited until Elizabeth spoke up again, her tone carrying a note of authority, 'move out,' and they fell into step, maintaining their formation. They were led east, straight into the heart of a small village until they stopped outside a large building, made of stone and utilitarian rather than aesthetic, stood in a cleared central square. A woman, with long black hair, braided and decorated, stepped outside, two guards formed up behind her and another two in front.

A long stone table and benches stood in front of the building and both leaders approached from opposite ends. The Ha'taal leader lifted her chin and gazed over the Atlantean contingent. 'You have come for the prisoners.' It was a statement, not a question.

'Yes. Our men. You _will_ return them.' No one except Elizabeth or the Ha'taal understood her words, but the Atlanteans stood silent, anticipating a hostile move. The other woman was pleased with her statement however. She clapped her hands once and a stream of adolescent Ha'taal came from the doorway behind her, laying the table with food and drink.

The other woman appeared pleased by her statement and clapped her hands once. Younger women, girls almost, came from the doorway behind her, laying food and drink on the table in front of both leaders. 'Will you require rest before we speak,' the Ha'taal woman lifted a metal cup and drank deeply. Elizabeth made no move to touch the drink, or the food. Likewise, neither did any of her people.

'We will not. We demand the return of our men. _Then_ we may speak of other matters.' Elizabeth's voice was harsh.

'The Ha'taal do not suffer demands,' came the reply, dark eyes flashing.

'The Terrans do not suffer their people to be held prisoner,' Elizabeth pulled the combat knife from her holster and stabbed it into a wooden platter on the table nearest her. 'War or peace, our men or trade. We have other battles to fight and Wraith to kill. Our time is not to be wasted! Choose before I return with more than a _token_ guard!'

'Can you match the Ha'taal, Terran!' The Ha'taal leader threw her words in a challenging tone.

'Do you need proof?' Elizabeth refused to back down. There was no answer, but one of their men stepped forward, choosing Sheppard as his target and waving a knife in his direction. He spoke, his words hard, his tone derisive. Sheppard didn't understand a single word he said, but then, he didn't need to. 'Withdraw before I have him killed,' she said to the Ha'taal woman. But all she received was a dark smile and the woman urged the warrior on. There was a chant now, started by the older women and spreading until every female sang it.

_Dammit! She's out to prove something!_ Elizabeth wondered who the woman had tangled with lately to make this so confrontational. Without changing her expression, she turned to Jon, 'pin him. Try not to kill him.'

Sheppard nodded in acknowledgement, hoping that luck wouldn't be on the other man's side and made a mental note to kill Elizabeth later. Slinging his weapon, he pulled a combat knife likewise. The other man moved forward, light on his feet and they circled one another for a moment before the Ha'taal struck.

The Colonel went in under the strike, rising to slam the heel of his hand into the man's jaw. He flipped, landing on his back and Sheppard rolled forward, kneeling on his chest and holding the knife to his throat. It wasn't the soldiers fault, thanks to Elizabeth's intelligence, he knew exactly how the man was going to strike from his stance. He silently thanked the gods for ceremonial combat and all it's predictable forms. Glaring at the prisoner, he listened as Elizabeth spoke that guttural language again.

'Will he live or die? Trade or war?' She married the respective terms carefully. The Ha'taal woman nodded, eyeing her thoughtfully.

'Trade,' came the reply, finally.

'Let him go, Jon.' It was an order.

Sheppard moved, allowing the Ha'taal to stand and the man made as if to move away. But a split second later he turned, curving in a wide arc, the knife point flashing in the sun, making heads turn. Jon twisted, throwing himself aside at the last moment. There was another flash and a throwing knife embedded itself in the man's heart. Elizabeth spun in surprise, the Ha'taal woman was on her feet, the holster of throwing knives strapped to her thigh clearly visible, previously hidden under her cloak. Two other men hurried forward, carrying the body away.

The Ha'taal woman placed a hand over her chest and bowed to Elizabeth, a form of apology for the incident. She lifted a finger to point to Sheppard and spoke again, as if nothing had just happened. Elizabeth smiled grimly, and shook her head with a one word reply. The woman laughed and introduced herself.

'I am Nishta. You will eat with us,' her voice was hard, but not challenging anymore.

'I am Elizabeth. We accept.'

The youngsters turned, filing back into the building. Elizabeth gave the men leave to enjoy themselves. Other women of the Ha'taal flocked to the centre table, and Teyla took a seat at Elizabeth's right hand side. Opposite, a Ha'taal male took his place behind Nishta, who raised her voice, switching to a language that sounded somewhat like Athosian. She asked a question of the Terran female, and Teyla managed to catch most of, raising an eyebrow when she glanced Elizabeth's way although she never cracked a smile.

Elizabeth hesitated, but one of the men in her team was being accorded an honour as the Ha'taal saw it, and if she didn't confer it one someone, it would add confusion to a situation that seemed diffused, but wasn't. Not yet. Given the option, she went for Sheppard, aware that all eyes around the table were on her choice after Nishta's earlier request. One of the younger women approached him, curtsying before indicating Elizabeth, sat at the end of the table.

He rose and came over. 'Problem?'

'Stand behind my chair and look dangerous. It's expected,' came the quiet reply. Curious, but willing to play along in the midst of these strange people, he took up his position, emulating the Ha'taal male at the other end of the table. The talk had switched to the same Athosian derivative that Nishta was using, one Elizabeth had found was familiar throughout the Pegasus galaxy. With no Go'auld controlling the 'Gate system, many races used it for travel to other worlds and several universal languages had sprung up.

Sheppard was more comfortable with this, he could understand some of the conversation. It centred around Elizabeth and her leadership of the Terrans. She corrected the mistake, explaining that she led a small contingent, but another female ran their home base. Nishta expressed an interest in meeting her and there were loose agreements for this to be done. Elizabeth did her best to describe Sam Carter, pointing out her status as scholar and leader, playing down the military side of her career. They seemed impressed that a blonde led the Terrans. Most of the Ha'taal were dark, and blondes were few and far between. For a blonde woman to take the path of leadership of her people was a sign of favour by the gods. Nishta insisted that Elizabeth would take a token back with her for their revered leader.

Her promise was made good at the end of the meal. The prisoners were brought out, and with a certain amount of ceremony, they were handed over, their weapons returned before they joined their fellow at the back of the formation. Brannigan looked over them darkly, muttering to them to looked suitably ashamed of their ranking. Then, with Sheppard standing behind her like a grim guardian and Teyla firm on the other side, Elizabeth accepted a tapestry depicting the origins of the Ha'taal. Turning to Teyla, she handed over the tapestry and accepted the sword, turning to Nishta and raising it in both hands, lying flat across her palms. The Ha'taal leader seemed pleased with the gift, and Elizabeth made her farewells. Turning, keeping her place betwen Sheppard and Teyla, they walked to the ouskirts of town, this time accompanied by a respectful, less sullen, guard.

It was the distant, high-pitched drone that alerted Sheppard to the presence of the Wraith. He turned to find Teyla staring up at the sky, her eyes wide. She already felt their presence. '_Elizabeth,_' he murmured urgently before Teyla broke in, 'the Wraith. They are here!'

Elizabeth turned, barking out one harsh word in the language of the Ha'taal. At the stone table, Nishta drew a knife, staring at the sky until a sound reached her ears. She threw back her head and uttered a long call and moments later, bells rang, filling the air with their sound. Nishta, with her Ha'taal male at her heels, strode over. She spoke urgently to Elizabeth, laying a hand on her shoulder, her smile revealing small white teeth. Elizabeth nodded, turning to Teyla with a grim smile, although her words were directed at Sheppard. 'You're being invited to take part in the hunt. We're here on a show of strength, if we refuse, it could destabilise the whole situation.'

Sheppard nodded, and Teyla asked the question she saw in his face. 'What about you and I?'

'We're welcome to guard the children and the elderly with the other women. We need a decision. Quickly.'

Given their precarious situations and the inability to _look_ as if he were making decision, Sheppard did the only thing he could think of. He lifted his weapon in one hand, and yelled a warcry. The others followed suit and the warrior behind Nishta smiled. When the Ha'taal turned away, she called both Elizabeth and Teyla to follow. With heart beating, her expression revealing nothing of her inner thought, Elizabeth fell into line behind her with Teyla. Men swarmed now, and Wraith darts sped across the sky in the distance. When she glanced back at where they had left the rest of their team, she found Jon's eyes already on her. He gave her a grim smile and raised his hand, a familiar gesture that caught in her throat. She turned away, and entered the stone building where the other women were already gathering.


	11. Chapter 11

With Teyla on her heels, Elizabeth followed Nishta inside and downwards, one flight of steps into a cellar, then across and down again, to a second level underground. They turned into a corridor lit by some kind of diffused light with no visible source. Elizabeth trailer a hand along one wall, feeling it strangely smooth and cool under her fingertips. When she looked up, Nishta was watching her.

'Our ancestors built this place,' Nishta explained. 'But the knowledge was lost when the Wraith came, culling hundreds of thousands. Ever since, we have striven to rebuild, but our numbers barely fill a single world. The Ha'taal once straddled multiple homes. Now, we live here, fighting the Wraith once more, teaching them that we are not afraid!' This last was added with a toss of her head, shaking long braids that clattered slightly from their burden of leather thongs and wooden beads. They emerged on a balcony overlooking a great hall. A set of steps swept downwards, and passageways led into the depths of the earth.

'This is incredible,' Elizabeth whispered, leaning over the balcony to look down. Nishta raised an enquiring eyebrow and she translated. The Ha#taal leader nodded, looking down onto a cavern as large as the 'Gateroom on Atlantis.

'Once, the skyship flew, now it rests in the earth. One day my people will know how to fly again and then, then we will cull the Wraith from the skies!' Nishta said eagerly, her eyes alight with hope for the future.

'If you have this, then why do the men stay above ground, to fight? Why not hide here, you could blockade the entrance, kill the Wraith in that bottleneck.'

Nishta smiled, nodding, 'you are curious Elizabeth of Atlantis. So is your _O'lar_,' she added, nodding to Teyla. 'Tell me Elizabeth of Atlantis, do your women fight alongside the men? I see the life of a warrior in her eyes. _You_ have trained, but _she_ has lived it.'

Elizabeth debated for a moment, but finally she nodded, 'Yes. Some of our women are warriors.'

Nishta nodded, 'so it was once with us. But after the culling the women and children were protected. Taught to fight, but never placed in battle. One day that will change, and all the children of my blood will take their place as warriors _and_ scholars. That it as it should be, yes?' Elizabeth gave a slight smile at her eagerness. 'But for now, here we live, in the safety of the ground and the men fight above.' She pointed to the roof above their heads, her expression sombre, her language switching to the Athosian derivative. 'Now, the men fight. And die. Teyla Emmagan, you are of Athos?'

'Once,' Teyla showed no surprise at Nishta's insight. 'Now, I fight with the Earth-born on Atlantis. They have given us new hope against the Wraith.'

'Do you wish to fight now? Or do you serve as _O'lar_?'

'_O'lar_?' Teyla repeated. 'I do not know this term.' She looked to Elizabeth for confirmation, but the word was not familiar.

'_Ol'ar_, until the child is a year, Elizabeth of Atlantis, Terran leader, needs an _O'lar_, a woman who has borne one child or many. To aide her when the bearing and the leadership together becomes burdensome.'

'Yes,' Teyla affirmed, nodding, 'I would be her _O'lar_, if she allows. Today, I observe what she does here, how she greets new people, creating alliances and trade. I learn, and perhaps later I may also teach.'

'Knowledge,' Nishta agreed, 'is sacred, and must be passed from one to another. That an _O'lar_ could learn whilst serving... I shall consider this. Come, Elizabeth of Atlantis, you will sit with the other women and _O'lari_, Teyla of Athos and I shall guard the doors.'

'I will help,' Elizabeth began, but Nishta held up a hand. 'You know much of us, but not enough. From the time the bearing begins until the child is strong without her mother's milk, the mother is as the child herself, vulnerable and must be protected. You will fight only when we are all dead.'

_Comforting thought_, but Elizabeth didn't say it out loud. 'Teyla, will you be-?'

'I will be fine, Elizabeth. Go!' Nishta signalled another woman to take her away, and she and Teyla turned their steps back the way they had come.

Above ground, Sheppard signalled his team, spreading them out across the forest as the Wraith came running. Ronan stood nearby, his expression grim. When the first wave hit them, he took down three in quick succession. Sheppard leaned out, the staccato gunfire startling the Ha'taal warriors who watched the enemy fall yards short of their target. With a yell of triumph for the sudden edge they had discovered in battle, Nishta's guardian-warrior, Liten, ran forward, meeting his first Wraith in hand to hand combat. A small clot of the white-haired devils raced for Liten's position and Sheppard slung his weapon, pulling a grenade and pitching it directly into their midst.

When the Wraith were thrown in all directions, some dead, some injured, it only fuelled the Ha'taal bloodlust. Sheppard took a momentary lull to glance around, taking down a Wraith who was trying to outmanoeuvre his position. Ronan was still shooting, and above a high-pitched whine alerted Sheppard to the decoy.

'They're heading for the settlement!' he yelled, switching to Athosian, praying the Ha'taal would understand enough of his words, before shouting, 'Liten! _Liten_! The settlement!' Liten swung his head around, and a Wraith rose, almost from beneath his feet. '_Liten_!' His weapon rose and the Wraith fell back as a hail of bullets impacted his torso. Liten, despite having been seconds from death, let out a cry of victory, his face wreathed in smiles. Yelling to his men, he turned, running for the settlement.

Teyla heard them first. Nishta a moment later. Anger darkened her expression, and she drew two long knives, one from each hip, dropping her cloak to the ground and kicking it aside. 'The Wraith are attacking the settlement instead of facing out warriors on open ground. _Cowards_!' She turned her head, calling out a single harsh word, and the signal carried back into the cavern itself. Behind them Teyla could hear footsteps, light and quick. The women, amassing to guard the gates into the Ha'taal safe haven.

With the men behind and the women in front, the Wraith who had attacked the settlement were caught between two claws. The whine of darts escaping filled the air as, bleeding and weary, the Ha'taal and the Atlantians took stock of their losses. West was dead, along with a marine named Holden. They found him in the woods, the victim of a Wraith. Nearby one of the enemy lay dead, and Sheppard hoped it was the same one that had killed West. The men they had rescued were still alive and the Ha'taal had suffered losses. Eight men dead, two injured and Nishta herself was hurt. Teyla was sitting with her when Liten led Sheppard and Brannigan underground, leaving the others on the surface above.

They carried Nishta down to the cavern floor, and a stream of women poured from a passageway with water and food. Others brought medical supplies, treating the wounded, and Sheppard watched the organised chaos as the dead were brought down and carried away for tending. Teyla found him there, standing with Brannigan. Before she could speak, Liten joined them, his face grave. 'Nishta will not live the night,' he said in broken Athosian.

'What is the nature of her injury,' Teyla asked.

'The healers tell me she bleeds within where they cannot bind her. If we cut her to reach it, we kill her.'

'We have our own healers, on Atlantis, who may be able to save her. If you allow, we could try,' she threw sideways glance at Sheppard who nodded slightly.

Liten placed a hand over his heart, bowing slightly. 'I will ask the healers if they will consent. We are grateful that you would try, even if it does not succeed. I do not wish to lose Nishta, she is a fearsome leader and proud _A'kal_.' He turned and disappeared in the direction of one of the corridors.

'_A'kal_?' Sheppard asked.

'I do not know for certain,' Teyla replied, 'but I think it means wife or mate.'

'Ah. Where's Elizabeth?'

'We were separated. I stood guard with Nishta whilst Elizabeth entered the caverns for safety.'

'_Safety_?' Sheppard's tone was incredulous. Although Elizabeth wasn't a trained soldier, he'd seen her move the day before when she demonstrated Ha'taal tactics. She had fought before, a spread of scars marred her shoulder, and he hadn't been surprised. Although Elizabeth had always deferred to him in military matters, she never led her people from behind. For a moment he was startled by a feeling of disappointment, that she would turn coward in another reality; and then he remembered she wasn't there and he tensed, looking out over the cavern to try and find her.

'Teyla, arrange with Liten for Nishta's transport to the 'Gate. Brannigan; night was closing in fast up there, and Atlantis will be checking in soon. Go tell Ronan to keep them apprised of our situation. I'm going to find Elizabeth.' He turned, striding across the cavern to the nearest corridor and disappearing inside. Atlantis had already received an update, and Nishta had been carried to the surface where Wyatt, the team medic, was stabilising her for transport to the 'Gate, before Sheppard found Elizabeth. She was emerging from a cavern where they were tending the wounded, her steps weary but her eyes bright, looking for her team. Next to her an older woman patted her on the shoulder and appeared to be giving her some kind of scolding.

Before Sheppard could wonder what it was about, he joined them. 'Where the hell have you been, 'Liz'beth?'

'With the rest of the women, I heard the commotion and came to investigate, but Tarla there,' she pointed to the woman who was scurrying away, 'insisted that the O'lari checked everything was clear before she allowed us out. I've been with the wounded ever since. How's Teyla? Ronan? The rest of the team? I've seen them, but no one has had a chance to report.'

'West is dead,' he said shortly, the disappointment coming back even though it had no reason to. 'So's Holden. Ronan's injured, but he overstretched himself, that's all. Nishta's badly injured, we're taking her back with us, see what Keller can do for her.'

'_Nishta_!,' Elizabeth looked horrified. 'Badly?'

'Bad enough, they think she won't last the night, so we're moving out now.'

Elizabeth nodded, falling into step with him. 'How was it up there?'

'Noisy,' he commented shortly, his expression unreadable. 'Let's move,' and he walked on, Elizabeth lengthening her stride in an effort to keep up. When they emerged to twilight, Teyla was at Nishta's side, two other women of the Ha'taal standing with her. Nishta herself lay still, her eyes closed and for a moment Elizabeth feared the worst.

One of the Ha'taal warriors caught sight of them, raising his voice, '_O'lar_!' He called out to Teyla, making the same assumption Nishta had. It was no secret amongst the Ha'taal that the Atlantean leader carried a child. 'Elizabeth!'

Teyla hurried over to them, catching the direction of Elizabeth's worried gaze. 'She sleeps,' she assured her, 'her women will walk with her.' Sheppard had already moved away, and they formed up again, this time less formally, looking out for trouble more than form. But the skies and woods remained quiet. They dialled in and sent the code, opening the iris to the City, and stepped through the wormhole.


	12. Chapter 12

Colonel Carter met them in the 'Gateroom, already calling for a medical team before the wormhole had disengaged. The marines carried Nishta through and Keller's team arrived with a gurney; she threw a glance at Elizabeth and the two covered forms of the soldiers they had brought home. No one else seemed injured and she headed towards the infirmary with her patient without delay, the Ha'taal women following her wake. Elizabeth caught them quickly. 'Come, you must leave her to our healers. We will find quarters for you until you can see her again. She will be safe. I give you my word.'

Carter glanced her way, ran an eye over her battle-weary soldiers and made a decision, 'debrief in two hours, Colonel.' Sheppard nodded, leading his team away to disarm before heading to a post-mission exam. Elizabeth frowned after him, something had been wrong ever since he'd found her in the caverns, but she shook it off in favour of more immediate problems.

'Colonel Carter. These women are of the Ha'taal, they come as aides to Nishta, the Ha'taal leader.'

'The injured woman?'

'Yes. She was wounded holding off the Wraith. I would like to have quarters assigned to her aides,' Elizabeth requested. 'It would be best if a guard were arranged, but one that can handle being deferential to civilians. They should accord them both all due honour.'

Carter nodded, 'I think that can be arranged, follow me. Debrief includes you, Dr Weir, but before that happens, I'd like to thank you for bringing back our soldiers.' Elizabeth nodded, but there wasn't much room for ongoing conversation. When the Ha'taal women were settled in their quarters with a meal, under their token guard, she joined the debrief in the conference room.

'Dr Weir, please sit down,' Carter directed her to the same chair as before. She took a seat gratefully, and listened as Sheppard gave an account of their mission. Brannigan's team were called on, and spoke of the treatment they received at the hands of the Ha'taal. Although they'd been imprisoned, given only water and some kind of thin gruel, they hadn't been mistreated. When Sheppard had finished with his log of the battle, Weir took up the story, describing the underground skyship, and the caverns. She skipped the explanation of _O'lar_ and why Nishta had sent her further down whilst she and Teyla took up arms to guard the entryway. She took them up to the moment she met Sheppard and the rest was a short enough tale from there. Carter dismissed them with the news that Nishta was in surgery, they would send word to the Ha'taal as soon as Keller told them anything new. Elizabeth pushed herself up as everyone filed out, Teyla lingering with concern.

'The Ha'taal women speak a derivative of Athosian, Elizabeth. You are tired. _I_ will tend them,' when Elizabeth opened her mouth to object, Teyla insisted and with a quiet smile for Carter, she led Elizabeth out, in the direction of her own quarters first. Carter watched the Athosian lead Weir out, thankful to have the woman on her team. She left the conference room and headed for her office, intent on completing the briefing report and a few letters home before she made her usual rounds. Sam liked to keep an eagle's eye view of everything that went on in Atlantis.

But the evening peace was disturbed. Outside on the balcony behind her office, Sheppard stood, looking out over the still-new oceans of Atlantis. The door slid open and she stepped outside into the chill of a late dusk.

'Jon? Is everything alright?'

'Yes, ma'am. Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude,' he indicated the balcony with a loose sweep of his arm.

'You're not. The balcony isn't actually in my office,' she smiled, but he didn't rise to it. The usual Sheppard humour was gone. 'Is this about the Ha'taal or Dr Weir?'

'No. I just... thought I'd watch the sunset,' it sounded lame even to his own ears.

'I think you missed it,' Sam replied, arching her eyebrows at him.

'Yeah.'

'She's too much like Elizabeth, isn't she? I remember when Dr Weir took over at the SGC, considering the IOA and the NID, we weren't exactly welcoming. But, like Hammond, she took a chance, trusted us. And she earned that back, even though she was only there a short time,' Sam remembered.

'And you think the new Elizabeth is anything like the old?' It didn't sound like a question, more a foregone conclusion. One where she wasn't.

'You _don't_?'

'I'm not sure. She took a big risk coming with us to the Ha'taal, and then she hides underground the moment the Wraith attack, leaving Teyla alone with an alien warrior-race to face them. It doesn't make much sense, I mean, the way she took on the Ha'taal, I thought she was going to get the rest of us killed along with the prisoners for a while there. But she pulled it off, faced down Nishta with her throwing knives and twenty-odd warriors backing her.'

'Ah,' there was a note of understanding in Carter's voice and Jon slewed round.

'Colonel?'

'It's been a long day, Jon, why don't you get some rest?'

Great. Another line that was going to hit a dead end. Sheppard considered pushing for a moment, but he knew from old that Carter wouldn't budge an inch. She would give you that chilly smile and you'd be up against a blank wall; just like Elizabeth sometimes. Instead, he just nodded, 'goodnight ma'am.'

'Goodnight, Colonel.' She watched him go and made a mental note to have a word with Weir. No matter what her personal feelings were, Carter couldn't keep her condition a secret much longer, especially if she continued liaising with the Ha'taal. Sheppard had every right to know the vulnerabilities of those he was leading offworld; they had already been through this with Teyla. If there had been any other choice today... No, she made the right call, but she wasn't going to be making the same one again. One problem settled, she headed back to her office, intent on tackling a few more.

The same chirp that had awoken her the previous morning, alerted her that the new day had come. Elizabeth picked up the earpiece and fitted it, activating the comm. line. 'Weir.'

It was Keller. 'Dr Weir. Nishta is awake and asking for you. I've already called Colonel Carter and Colonel Sheppard. Teyla is bringing her aides over.'

'Thank you, Jennifer. I'll be right there.'

Everyone else was already there. Nishta had her women at her bedside and the others stood a few feet away. Keller joined them as Elizabeth approached. 'Good, you're here. I think she's getting a little upset that I haven't complied with her demands yet, but I don't know what to tell her. I still can't speak Athosian, let alone a variation of it.'

'I'll speak with her. How is she?'

'She's going to be fine,' Jennifer replied. 'The surgery went well. She will need to rest and recuperate according to specific instructions. I'll need you to relay them to her.'

'We're going to send word to the Ha'taal this morning. Will one of her women go?'

'I doubt it,' Elizabeth began. 'I-'

'I will go, Colonel Carter. Dr Weir is still very tired. If she will tell me what to say, I will relay the message.'

Elizabeth smiled, giving in without a fight because Teyla wouldn't take no for an answer. 'In that case, Teyla should have an escort from the soldiers who went with us yesterday. Brannigan and West would do fine. I'll instruct them before they leave.'

'Very well. Shall we?' she indicated Nishta's bed and Elizabeth led the way to make the introductions. Nishta lay propped up against pillows, her attendants standing quietly at her side.

'Elizabeth of Atlantis,' Nishta appeared drained but her voice was still strong. 'Your healer has done much for me.'

'I'm glad to see you well, Nishta, revered leader of Ha'taal. You had us concerned.'

The woman smiled broadly, 'it is not my time. The Gods must have sent you before the attack. I am glad we did not kill your men. Who do you bring? Your leader and your _A'kai_. They are most welcome.'

'Yes,' Elizabeth skipped the _A'kai_ part, she wasn't sure what or whom Nishta was referring too, it wasn't a Ha'taal word she had heard before, but she assumed it meant either leader or honoured warrior. She would have to find confirmation later. 'This is Dr Samantha Carter of Atlantis, scholar and warrior,' she skipped Sam's rank, knowing her civilian title would have more weight with Nishta. 'You know Colonel Sheppard and Teyla Emmagen.'

'Yes. Tell me, what is _Dr_?'

'A scholar who had achieved high standing in our society is entitled with this rank.'

'Ah. A matter of status and respect, yes? Good.' She turned to Sam, speaking in the Athosian derivative. 'Doctor Samantha of Atlantis, the Ha'taal people send their greetings, and their thanks. We have a gift for you.'

One of her aides stepped forward, handing over the tapestry that Teyla had laid aside before joining Nishta to fight the Wraith. They had brought it with them.

'I thank you,' Sam took the gift with a smile. Elizabeth, just behind her murmured something, and Sam laid a hand over her heart and bowed slightly. Nishta seemed pleased.

'Hala and Ka'li tell me they are well taken care of, and that you and your O_'_lar saw to their needs. You should take more care of yourself, Elizabeth of Atlantis. You look tired. I did not send you to safety yesterday for the child to perish today. You should heed my advice, I have had seven children, seven _O'lars_ and held that position myself. I know what I speak of.'

'Thank you, Nishta,' Elizabeth, 'I am honoured that you would concern yourself with my welfare.' She wasn't, but she was touched, only she had no idea how to convey that in Ha'taal.

Nishta shook her head, 'the lives of the next generation are of concern to all. My people learned that the difficult way. _A'kai_!' She practically barked the word out, her attention on Sheppard.

'Yes... ma'am?'' Although he wasn't entirely sure she was referring to him.

'Take care of her,' she stated, indicating Elizabeth. She turned back to Sam. 'I wish to speak with you more, but I am not yet strong. Soon however, very soon, I will be. May we speak then? Of trade and knowledge?'

With Elizabeth whispering translations, Sam picked up her Athosian speech and nodded, 'of course, Nishta of the Ha'taal. When you are strong, we will speak. Until then, you are our honoured guest.'

'My thanks. Hala will return to my homeworld to deliver news of my life. My _A'kai_ will wish to know, as will my people.'

'We will send an escort. Will she be returning?'

'Yes. After we have spoken, you and I, you must come to Ha'taal where my people can meet you. We will hold a celebration in honour of the golden crowned leader of Atlantis.'

Sam seemed startled but she managed to make her formal thanks, and the three of them slipped away. Outside, Sam found herself grinning, 'Nishta is... a formidable woman.'

'You should have seen her before she was wounded,' Elizabeth replied, her own smile faltering under Sheppard's hard gaze.

'Dr Weir, I think I lost something in the translation there, would you mind clearing up a few things for me?'

'Not at all.' They turned their steps towards the mess hall, but Sam left them, heading for the control room and her office. They continued in silence until Elizabeth broached the subject, 'what was it you wanted clarifying, Jon?'

Sheppard waited until they were sitting in a far corner of the mess hall, his back to the room before he spoke. 'Thanks to Teyla,' he began, 'I have a pretty good grasp of Athosian words, including words like child. Why didn't you tell Nishta that Teyla was the one with a kid? Is that why she sent you down to safety?'

Elizabeth sank back in her chair, her face suddenly pale, but her voice was steady when she spoke. 'I should have had a word with Nishta in private I guess, although how I would have explained the situation including alternate realities, is beyond me.'

'_What_? Elizabeth, what's going on? I know what you said, but I cannot take responsibility for you in the field if I don't know the whole situation. I need to determine what's relevant. Did you leave a kid behind when you came here?'

Elizabeth shook her head, the possibility of lying or stalling already long past. 'No,' she replied, 'actually, I brought it with me.'

He was staring at her, his expression telling her that he was in the verge of understanding, and not liking it one bit. 'What?'

'I'm pregnant, Jon.' She was answered with silence. 'Jon?'

He nodded, and everything suddenly made a great deal of sense. He looked up, 'in that case, the sooner you leave for Earth, the better.'


	13. Chapter 13

He had a child. Or damn near. Unborn and vulnerable in a city that was no stranger to attack.

_The sooner you leave for Earth the better_, he'd said and then she'd walked away, leaving her food untouched. Sheppard spun, slamming into his opponent with both sticks. The dull clunk of wood on wood echoed around the gym as Ronan caught his attack and side-stepped it. 'So,' the Satedan said, his dark voice verging on bored, although the two of them had been sparring for an hour, 'what gives with you and Weir?'

'Nothing. Why?'

'Because you're going out of your way to avoid each other. And Elizabeth isn't looking to happy about it.'

'What? You think she's pining away for lack of _my_ company?' Sheppard replied sarcastically, as the two fighters circled each other.

'No. I think she doesn't need the stress in her condition. Or so said Teyla said. Or something like that.'

'What the _hell_-? Did everyone know except me?'

Ronan shrugged, and threw himself into the attack. For a few moments there was nothing but the sound of soft grunts and the scuffle of feet.

'Why didn't you say something?'

'None of my business. Not 'til its five or so.'

'What? Why?'

'Best age to start training,' Ronan replied, as if that explained everything. They rejoined the battle, sparring for some minutes before breaking apart again. 'So,' he started again, 'what gives?'

'Didn't we already kill this conversation?'

'That was then. This is now.'

'My answer's the same.' He dropped in under Ronan's guard, slamming into him at an angle. The two went at it, striking and parrying until Ronan slammed Sheppard into the ground.

'Eyes, man, eyes,' Ronan stood back, allowing him to get to his feet. 'You should talk to her.'

'I don't need to talk to her, and she doesn't need to talk to me. Wanna drop it now?'

'Nope.'

'_Why_!'

Ronan side-stepped his attack, struck him from behind and pinned him with one knee in his back, the stick at his throat. 'Cos you're getting sloppy.' Ronan stood, hanging up the sticks and grabbing a towel from the rail. Without a backward glance he strode away. Behind him, Sheppard rolled on to his back, staring up at a ceiling that outdated him by nearly ten thousand years.

It wasn't him not talking. It was Elizabeth, she'd avoided him since that day in the mess six days ago, and between missions and her duties with the Ha'taal, it had been an easy enough trick to accomplish. What the hell was he supposed to do? How did you deal with something like this? And why is it okay for Teyla and her son, or Jonathan McKay, to stay on Atlantis but not Elizabeth? _Why are you so damn keen to send her far, far away?_ The little voice in the back of his head held a taunting note.

He spoke aloud when he answered it.

'Shut up.'

Across the city, in Telya's quarters, Elizabeth sat on the floor, waving small toys for the entertainment of the Athosian's son and tried to ignore the steady ache in her chest. She had an appointment with Keller the following day, including a scan. _The_ scan. And she was nervous. More than nervous, what she felt verged on fear. Although she and Jon hadn't yet worked out their... differences, this problem had overtaken that one in her priorities. Whether Jon wanted her back on Earth or not was none of her concern right now; what worried her more was if the child she carried was healthy.

Teyla sat opposite, distracting her son who seemed more than a little put out that his new playmate was staring off into space and ignoring him. 'Elizabeth? _Elizabeth_!'

Green eyes found hers and blinked, shaking off her reverie. 'I'm sorry, Teyla, what were you saying?'

The Athosian smiled, 'nothing, but I was going to ask if you are okay? You have been very quiet.'

'Oh. I, uh, I have an appointment with Dr Keller tomorrow. I get to find out if everything's okay.'

'I am sure it will be. I understand your concerns, but you are a strong woman, Elizabeth, I am sure the child be as well,' Teyla replied briskly, keeping her voice light.

At the certainty in the Athosian's voice, she could smile, 'thank you, Teyla.'

When the soft chirp came half hour later, she was sitting by the window, the baby playing in her lap as she pointed out the various parts of the city to him that they could see from here. Spilling the story of Atlantis proved an easier, less mournful task when directed at the yearling, than the report she had had to write for Carter. Across the room she heard Teyla speaking, and turned her head. The Athosian was talking into her earpiece. Apparently some of the Athosians had come through the 'Gate, looking for their leader.

'Elizabeth. I have been called to the 'Gateroom. Would you mind staying with Torran while I talk with my people?'

'No, of course not, go ahead. We might take a little walk if that's alright with you.'

'Of course. I will contact you when I have finished.'

Elizabeth picked up the child in her lap, turning him round and showing him how to wave, 'here we go sunshine, wave goodbye. Mummy'll be back soon. You want to stay and play with me?'

Torren giggled, apparently happy to remain with Elizabeth. Teyla disappeared, heading for the Gateroom and it was some time before their peace was disturbed again. The door chimed softly and Elizabeth swept the infant up in her arms and answered it, wondering why Teyla hadn't simply walked in. Outside, Sheppard stood, back to the door. At the sound of it opening, he turned, the frown on his face turning to surprise.

'Elizabeth?'

'Jon! I, uh-'

'I just, um, dropped in to see Teyla. She around?' he asked, his eyes fixed on the baby, one hand wrapped round a fistful of Elizabeth's hair. She winced as he tugged and Jon reached out, unclasping small fingers from her curls.

'Thanks,' she replied, smiling uneasily.

He nodded, and she felt even more uncomfortable under his scrutiny. She indicated behind her, 'do you want to come in and wait?'

The nod again, 'yeah, sure. They got you on babysitting duties now?' It sounded condescending the moment it left his mouth and he winced internally; he'd meant it as a joke, his usual brand of off-colour humour, but it hadn't come out the way he'd planned.

'I offered to watch him for a while,' Elizabeth returned, ignoring the comment, 'Teyla's with some of the Athosians. She should be back soon.' She took her place on the blanket on the floor again. Jon sat nearby, watching them in silence for a while. Seeing her play on the floor with the baby raised a whole other set of issues he wasn't prepared to face.

'I hear you've been assigned to a city-based exploration team.'

'Yes. Keller's not too happy with me going offworld, and now the situation with the Ha'taal is settling, Colonel Carter wants to utilise my knowledge of Atlantis.'

Another nod. 'Heard anything from the IOA and Earth?' He knew she had, as military commander of the city's forces, he knew everything one step after Carter, as he always had with her, but he was trying to drum up conversation, wishing the easy rapport that usually existed between them would return.

'Yes. The IOA aren't happy with me staying here, but the USAF is backing Carter's decision to keep me here, so they can rant all they like. I won't be going _anywhere_ soon,' she emphasized, deliberately keeping her voice light.

His face darkened, 'Earth is safer. That's all.'

'But it's okay for Torren and Jonathan to stay here?' she wasn't angry anymore, but her voice echoed with sadness, as if she were more disappointed now than angered by his words nearly a week earlier.

'And if something goes _wrong_?' he demanded, obviously referring to her pregnancy. A great deal had already gone wrong. But his words served to remind her that tomorrow, she could see the last of the fallout from the Wraith-Asuran attack. With Jonathan well on the road to recovery, it was the last hurdle, and possibly the worst. The door chimed again before she could reply, sliding open softly and Teyla stepped through. 'Jon! It is good to see you. What brings you here?'

'Uh, nothing much, thought I'd stop by.'

She nodded, but the air hung heavy with unspoken words. 'Elizabeth. I hope he was no trouble,' she asked, lifting her son.

Elizabeth shook her head, 'good as gold,' she replied, trying, and failing, to raise a smile. 'See you later little guy, thank you Teyla.'

'I will see you tomorrow. You will let me know?'

'You'll be the first,' she promised and disappeared into the corridor.

Teyla turned back to Jon with a frown. 'What did you say to upset her?'

'Me? Nothing. We were just talking.'

'About?'

'About her duties here, and I thought it might be a good idea if she went back to Earth...' he looked away innocently, 'in case something went wrong, y'know, with her, the baby...' he trailed off and looked up at her exasperated sigh. 'What?'

'There are times you are very foolish, Jon Sheppard. The baby has finally reached a stage of development where Dr Keller can use the scanners. And tomorrow, Elizabeth will find out if the events of the past few weeks have spared the child she carries. Would it not have been wise to remind her of everything that has gone _right_, including their survival and Jonathan's recovery rather than remind her of the possibility that she may still face another loss?'

Jon went very still. He hadn't known about the scan tomorrow, he hadn't even known that the baby's wellbeing was still in question. _But then why would you? You never asked_, he informed himself bitterly. He rose, 'I'll see you later,' he said, following Elizabeth's disappearing trick.

She could hear his footsteps hurrying away. Teyla shook her head, bouncing her son in her arms, 'your namesake, little one, is strong and brave, a good man, but I hope for _your_ sake that _you_ are wiser.'


	14. Chapter 14

It was with no small amount of trepidation that Elizabeth turned her steps to the mess hall the next morning, knowing that she'd drag her feet even more when it came time to leave and head for the medical bay. But she had to eat. Keller would shoot her otherwise. Part of her wondered why she was bothering, at least until after she knew for sure either way.

There was another irony. Jon would have shot her for that attitude.

The mess hall was quiet this early in the morning, and there wasn't much of a line to join. She stared at the options, decided she wasn't hungry and went for a glass of juice instead. Behind her a familiar voice spoke. 'If that's all you're having, Keller'll kill me, then report both me and Teyla to Nishta. Not sure I want to face _her_ in a temper.' Jon paused, eyeing her before reaching out and taking the tray out of her hands. 'You're not hungry and Keller started her shift about five minutes ago. C'mon.'

To her surprise, Jon grabbed her hand, leading her from the mess hall. 'What? Where are we going?'

'Infirmary,' he looked closely at her, it was obvious she hadn't slept well last night, if at all. 'Keller can move your appointment forward. I'll even ask nicely.' He felt her hand pull against his, her feet slowing and turned to face her. 'You have to find out Elizabeth, and the sooner the better. This isn't doing you any good.'

Her eyes flashed briefly and turned chill. 'I can walk there by myself, Jon.' She was angry, scared, and he couldn't blame her for taking it out on him, but she held back, keeping the distance between them. Letting go of her hand, he nodded, and they walked side by side to the infirmary. Behind her desk, Keller sat just inside her little office and Elizabeth paused in the doorway. 'I'll be fine, Jon.' It was a dismissal, and it was one he wasn't taking.

'Good,' was all he said, and he followed her inside. Jennifer was surprised to see them, _both_ of them, but willing to bring forward the scan. 'Okay, I'll take some blood, start the tests running and then we'll have a look.'

Elizabeth nodded and took the indicated seat on a gurney. Keller drew the curtain around and spoke in a low voice, 'I can see you alone if you prefer,' it wasn't exactly an invitation to have Jon kicked out, but it was close; she'd seen the look on Elizabeth's face when she walked in. Elizabeth considered it for a microsecond and then shook her head.

'No. He has a vested interest here too. Kind of.'

Keller nodded, and went ahead, drawing back the curtain a few minutes later to Sheppard standing there, arms crossed. Waiting.

Without a word he followed them to the back of the infirmary and the 'Lantean scanners. Elizabeth laid herself down in one, lying perfectly still and closing her eyes, waiting for Keller to begin. Nearby Sheppard stood, watching in silence. Jennifer initiated a full body scan, the image of Elizabeth's figure appearing on the screen. She tapped in several parameters, zooming in on the baby and turning the image through several dimensions, looking for signs of abnormalities. The machine detected the child's vital signs, and everything, she was relieved to see, appeared normal.

'Okay, Elizabeth, you can get up now.'

Weir went to rise, finding Sheppard's hand already held out to help her up. Perplexed she took it, and pulled herself to her feet. 'What's the verdict?' she asked, turning to Keller. Under his fingers, hers clenched, the only outward sign she gave that something was wrong, to all outward appearances, she was calm.

'I have to analyse the results, and the blood tests won't be back until tomorrow, even with Ancient tech, there's limits. But, from what I've seen, everything looks good. Size, heart-rate, morphology are all fine. But I want those bloods back clean again before I give you the all clear.'

Elizabeth nodded, a visible weight lifted off her shoulders. 'Thank you, Jennifer.'

'Don't mention it. Would you like to know if it's a boy or a girl?'

'You can tell?'

'With scanners this good, yeah, I can tell. You wanna know?' the doctor returned cheerfully.

She found herself turning to Jon, an instant before reality kicked in and she started to look away again. Nonetheless, he shrugged, his voice cutting across her silence, 'I'm good with healthy.' Stunned, Elizabeth simply shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

'Oh, and here I am, with no one to tell,' Keller replied, with a grin, her voice playful.

Sheppard nearly smiled, the first reaction the doctor had seen from him since he walked in. 'Dr Keller? Could you give us a minute?'

She glanced at Elizabeth, who gave a nod, before she smiled. 'Yeah, sure. Back in five,' and she disappeared into the main infirmary.

Elizabeth wasted no one time beating around the bush. She sank onto the scanning bed and turned to him. 'Okay, Jon, what do you want?'

'I want _you_ back on Earth.'

'And I thought I made it quite clear-'

'You aren't listening, 'Liz'beth. I want you _out_ of Atlantis, back home where it's safe.'

'Yeah, sure, and how about I take Jonathan, Torren and Teyla with me whilst I'm at it?' she replied, her irritation bleeding through.

'This isn't about them, it's about _you_,' his voice came back with a harsher note than he intended.

'The danger's never bothered you this much before, has it?'

'I never had a kid to worry about before.'

'It's not-.'

'_Don't_! Don't go there. Jon Sheppard, your reality or mine, makes no difference. It's still-,' he broke off.

Elizabeth turned to him then, placing a hand on his arm. 'I'm sorry, Jon, but this isn't your decision.'

'Like hell it isn't!' He nearly yelled at her. It drew a frown, but Elizabeth didn't flinch. 'This involved me the second you stepped through that mirror, 'Lizabeth!'

'For someone who feels so involved, Jon, you've put a lot of effort into keeping out of the way,' she couldn't help the bitter note that crept in.

'It's not that simple, Elizabeth, and you know it,' his voice low.

'Yes, Jon, I do know that. I lost my entire _world_, I know how not-simple this is. But you can't ignore us one minute and play happy families the next,' she sighed, running one hand through her hair. 'I can't afford this, Jon,' she met his eyes, her gaze as steady as her voice. 'Whatever I may have thought... I can't squander my energy, right now I have another priority.'

'The baby's my priority too, 'Liz'beth. Why do you think I'm here?'

'I know. And I appreciate that, but-'

'We have all the time-'

'No.' She didn't have to add the next words; he could hear her decision in her voice. 'I'm sorry, Jon, you aren't him and I'm not her. We were kidding ourselves whilst the world moved on. Now it's our turn. The same man who sacrificed himself to save us still lives on in you. I hope I can do Lizzie that same justice.'

He didn't have anything to say. nor time to find it. Elizabeth turned away and he watched as she left, her words echoing in his ears.


	15. Chapter 15

Sheppard stepped through the 'Gate, mud-splattered, soaked and irritable. Behind him McKay's usual whining was beginning to bite. He normally shrugged it off; Rodney's ways were second nature to him by now. But today, he could not get past it. '_McKay_! Give it a rest, will ya?'

'Colonel. I take it you had no luck securing the ZPM?' Carter approached from the controlroom stairs, appraising their attitudes and their condition.

'No, ma'am, whatever was there once is long gone now,' they had hit the planet in the hopes of finding a zero-point module, thanks to a tip-off from a personal log uncovered by the city exploration team, the one Elizabeth had been working with for nearly a month now. She hadn't left Atlantis, and Sheppard was under the impression that she wasn't going to anytime soon. Carter had assimilated her into Expedition, and the IOA had apparently backed off. She was banned from going offworld, unless it was low risk, which meant visits to the Athosian's new world , and the Ha'taal homeworld only.

And in all that time, they had exchanged only passing words, unless it had been in the course of Atlantean business. Elizabeth was polite every time they met, friendly even, but sometimes he'd look up and catch her watching him, her eyes bleak. He'd open his mouth and have nothing to say, and then she'd be gone. Ghost, rather than guardian of Atlantis. Had he told her that once?

'Understood. We'll debrief at oh-eight-hundred, Colonel, you better go get cleaned up and checked out.'

'Yes, ma'am.' His eyes strayed to the balcony, a habit he didn't even realise he had anymore. Instead of empty space, he felt a jolt through his entire being as his eyes met hers, looking down on them. Elizabeth had heard the 'Gate activate, heard the call that Sheppard's team was finally coming home and, without thinking, stepped out onto the balcony. For a moment, the familiar, welcome rush of relief that they were home safe ran through her. Hard on its heels, reality had set in and she'd seen him tense up under her scrutiny.

But then, it was always that way now. She turned away, heading out of the control room and met them on the stairs. For a moment, he stood in front of her, and Elizabeth remembered the moment in her quarters, when she was grieving and he had kissed her. The desire to do it again stole her breath for a moment. Instead of reacting, she side-stepped, they passed each other and she hurried away, his eyes burning into her back the entire way.

She geared up the next morning. They were moving into the north of the city, sector twenty-four. That section of the city had been opened up when Atlantis had first been colonised and all Elizabeth could remember was that they'd had some initial problems. To that end, the team had taken on additional support for the first sweep. They headed down and Carter watched them go, wondering how long she could keep Elizabeth on Atlantis. The IOA were still keeping up the pressure but General Landry was taking the brunt, keeping the political bickering from spilling over to the Expedition itself. With Weir on the team, they had uncovered more technology and more of Atlantis itself in the past month than the previous year.

The rest of Sheppard's team found McKay in the mess hall, there ahead of the three of them, as he had been last night. Sheppard slid his tray onto the table and into a seat, turning his head to gaze round the hall automatically.

'She's not here,' Rodney mumbled around a mouthful of toast.

'Isn't it rude to talk with your mouth full?'

'Yeah, like your manners couldn't use a little polishing,' McKay returned sarcastically. 'And I said, she's not here.'

'Who?' Sheppard replied blankly.

Rodney shot him a dark look. Sheppard knew damn well who he meant, the scientist had watched Jon every time they'd met up in here for a meal, looking for Elizabeth, keeping an eye on her from a distance, enquiring after Keller if everything was okay, checking with Abernathy, who led the exploration team, that the pace wasn't putting the team at risk.

Usually, he would've trusted the Major's judgement.

The pair of them were blind in any reality, Rodney reflected to himself. Aloud, he answered Sheppard's question, nearly missed over his internal musings. 'Oh! Um, yeah, Athan's fine. He still sleeps a lot, Jennifer's keeping him in the infirmary by day. Elizabeth dropped by last night to see him,' he added, raising an eyebrow and watching the Colonel opposite him.

At their respective seats, Teyla and Ronan pricked up their ears, exchanging a wary glance across the table. McKay just wouldn't let it lie. Ronan was sick of the conversation, and Teyla was tired of Rodney's efforts to force them together. He needed to back off. She made a mental note to talk to him later, in private.

'Yeah?' Jon had perfected the one-word-not-interested answer over the past few weeks.

'Yes. When I got to Jennifer's quarters, she was already there. She's looking better, must be the whole pregnancy thing, I guess.'

Sheppard was tempted to glare daggers and threaten him, but a more subtle idea came to mind. He raised his head and smiled, 'guess we better get family quarters reassigned to you then, must be cramped, you, Jenni and the baby in her quarters every night. I'll mention it to Carter.'

'What? Wait! No, that's not what I meant-!'

Sheppard rose, empty tray in hands, 'oh yeah, and you should really get some personal leave soon, see you sister. She _does_ know you have a son now, right Meredith?' Jon walked off, heading for the trolley near the exit.

Behind him Rodney practically scrambled out of his seat, objections preceding him as hurried to catch up with Sheppard, heading for the conference room and their early morning debrief. Jon barely heard, glad merely to have distracted Rodney for ten minutes, but as he walked he realised that McKay was right, she had been looking better lately, more relaxed, almost happy at times, it was only when he caught her gaze that anything could be said to be wrong.

She was doing fine without him, and the thought twisted, a knife in his gut.

In the corridors of sector twenty-four, Bill Abernathy fell into step with Dr Elizabeth Weir. Back home in the UK, he had been a Squadron Leader, but under Sheppard he was classed as a Major, not that it bothered him that much; working on Atlantis was far beyond his wildest dreams when he had joined the RAF, next to exploring space, relative rank seemed insignificant.

Elizabeth looked tired, but better than he had when she had first come to their Atlantis. Not quite so thin and pale. More like he imagined she should, less like their own Elizabeth, strung out on caffeine and stress under the constant threat of the Wraith, the Genii or the Asurans. He could already tell that she was a different person to her predecessor and he said as much.

'I guess that makes sense,' Elizabeth replied, a sobering thought suddenly hitting her.

'What d'you mean?'

'Well, Lizzie came to an Atlantis that went from underwater to under attack. She knew nothing about the Pegasus galaxy, plus the infighting between the IOA and the military, not to mention the enemies outside the gates.'

Bill smiled, a wary twist with no real humour. The early days had been less than fun, and then the IOA had recalled Weir home, practically threatening to pull her for trying to create a peaceful solution to the Wraith problem. This Elizabeth, it appeared, hadn't had that problem.

'She was a brave woman,' she went on, 'I'm not sure I could have done what she did.'

'You're close enough, you almost are her at times. Don't sell yourself short.'

'I'm not, not really. If I had to contend with the same issues, I hope I could find the strength and resolve she did, but at the same time, we were raised in very different worlds, not just separate ones. She practically handed herself over to the Asurans to keep her team safe. I'm not sure I could have done the same.'

'You're out here,' he pointed out, 'exploring the city isn't completely without its risks. You walked into the lion's den to save those men, chancing more than your own life. After everything that's happened, no one would have blamed you for going straight back to Earth and never setting foot on Atlantis again. As it is, everyone's glad you stayed.'

_Oh, not everyone_, but outwardly Elizabeth smiled, the warmth of his compliment not lost on her. She was grateful to work with such good people. 'Thank you Major. I know Lizzie's missed by your people, and I wondered if I'd even find acceptance here, let alone a home.'

'_Your_ people now, Dr Weir. So,' he went on, changing the subject, 'we uncovering anything exciting today?'

'I'm afraid not. A run of laboratories and storage rooms. These seemed to be secondary research areas, possibly used for schooling or training. Nothing of particular interest, and sector twenty-five is more living quarters. Want more living space, Major?'

He grinned, 'not me, I'm good, but you're going to need an extension soon.'

'Oh, I've got a while to go.'

'I should hope so, my wife looked like the rising moon before she had the boys.'

'You have sons?'

'Three. Two military, one's a surgeon. Don't know what we did right there,' he was smiling like he didn't mean it.

'Any advice?' she asked.

He thought for a moment, 'yeah, enjoy it every chance you get, because the rest of the time you'll be worrying. I'd rather take on the Wraith than try raising kids again at my age,' he chuckled. 'I've seen Lizzie Weir take on more than a couple of kids'll throw atcha. You'll do fine.'

It was a relief in way, to hear the offhand certainty in his voice. Elizabeth had no idea what kind of a mother she would make, and her situation had the added complication of having to explain to her child that they weren't originally of this universe. She had debated that with herself a couple of times. It would be years before she had to make that decision final, and part of her had wondered, why not let things be, just allow her son or daughter to grow up in this reality, and believe it was their own.

But it felt like a lie. And a betrayal, of all the people who had died keeping them safe; a betrayal of Jon, even more than the relationship between her and Sheppard. Her and Sheppard! That was a joke, whatever existed between them had never even left the ground. And he was doing great without her. If she never looked his way, everything would have been fine, and realistically Elizabeth wondered how much longer she could stay here. As determined as she had been to remain on Atlantis, his constant presence was a reminder of everything she had lost.

Twice over now.

Mentally she shook herself. She had been the one to walk away, yes, but how long would she and Jon have torn each other apart if she hadn't? She simply didn't have the resources to handle it anymore, she was stretched too thin. But somewhere underneath the logic of her actions seethed a counter-argument, the one she refused to look in the face, the one that told her she'd simply given up and walked away. Leaving him, she risked nothing. Staying...

'Ma'am? I think you should take a look at this.'

Lt. Baker interrupted her thoughts. Elizabeth looked up, thankful for the break from herself and nodded to the dark-haired officer. 'Lead the way,' she said and followed her into one of the larger laboratories. Inside several status chambers stood, two integrated, more standing apart from the wall, and others in pieces, stacked neatly to one side.

'An electronics lab?' Elizabeth mused, 'I know we have one down here, but I had no idea there was one filled with half-built status chambers. Maybe this really was a training area. Large storage rooms, low grade labs, a considerable number of spare parts... What do you think Lieutenant Baker?'

'I-I'm not sure, ma'am.'

Baker had no area of speciality and was surprised that Dr Weir had asked her opinion on the matter. 'How long have you lived here, Lieutenant?'

'Nearly a year, ma'am.'

'How much of the city have you, personally, explored?'

'Every inventoried inch, ma'am!' Baker replied, with pride in her voice. 'Being on the city exploration team, it's our job to know Atlantis inside and out, well, the uncovered sectors.'

'Then you know what the rest of Atlantis is like. What's your impression of this sector?'

Baker thought for a moment before looking up. 'Manufacturing,' she said.

'Go on.'

'Well, the parts are here, labs with several workstations all the same, large storage areas and transport rooms on every level. It makes sense that they would use a far out section like this for manufacture and repairs. It's out on the edge of the city, it can be evacuated quickly and completely sealed off. I wouldn't keep anything important here, like central control or research and development.'

Elizabeth spun slowly, staring around at the laboratory. 'You know Baker, I think you might be right,' she turned back to the young officer, 'nice idea.'

Baker grinned, with a clear, 'yes ma'am,' falling from her lips, but Elizabeth could tell she'd just made the young woman's day. Smiling she indicated the exit, 'shall we?'

The lieutenant nodded, preceding her, opening a comm. channel to the Abernathy to inform him they were on the way. He gave an affirmative and they carried on, leaving the laboratory behind, it's lights shining, activated by Elizabeth's presence, and the automatic systems fired up under the influence of the Ancient gene.

Their voices faded down the hall and the lab fell silent. It took several minutes for the cycle to complete, and then a new sound filled the air. In the deserted room, unbeknownst to the exploration team, something stirred.


	16. Chapter 16

'Sheppard! _Sheppard! _JON, respond dammit!'

McKay's voice cut through his head like glass. Sheppard had joined the night shift the day before, despite being up before oh-eight-hundred for the briefing. It was part of an agreement between him and Carter that the senior staff would take their turn to join the night crew to keep morale and give them fair access to the city's leaders.

'_SHEPPARD!_'

He activated the comm, his voice heavy with irritation and sleep. 'What is it, McKay?'

'We've got Wraith activity; _inside_ Atlantis.'

That woke him up. 'Where are you?'

'Control room, you better get up here.'

He ran, yanking his t-shirt over his head as he did so. In the main control room he found McKay leaning over the scanners. Carter wasn't in sight, she was offworld, with the Athosians, no harm, after all, what could happen on a routine day in Atlantis? 'Speak to me, McKay!'

'Wraith lifesign, near the outskirts of the city. Ronan and Teyla are already gearing up, the signal keeps disappearing on me, I don't know why,' the words spilled out as he furiously typed into the keyboard, recalibrating the scanners as fast the signal changed. 'Got him! It's locked in, he must have been using some kind of a jamming signal.'

'Where is it?'

'Hang on...' Rodney's eyes flickered across the screen, 'oh no,' he looked up, his face pale. 'He's in sector twenty-four.'

Sheppard felt as if the ground had just fallen out from under him. 'The exploration team?' he demanded hoarsely.

'They already left.'

The next thing he knew, he was running down the stairs, heading for the armoury, but Ronan was already there, striding across the 'Gateroom with a tac vest in one hand and threw Sheppard a weapon with the other.

'C'mon,' his dark voice holding no humour, 'Wraith to kill.'

'Yeah got that,' they were moving out, checking weapons as they went. Sheppard activated his comm.. 'Rodney, get hold of the exploration team, tell them to get back here right now.'

'I've been trying,' exasperation filled his tone, 'but the jamming signal's interfering with communications. Sheppard, there could be more than one down there, I've no way to tell for sure.'

A momentary silence. 'Okay, keeping trying, get Brannigan to gear up and follow us down, hold Smith and Leigh in reserve. See what you can do to keep the Wraith away from the exploration team. Keep this channel _open_!'

'Will do,' and then he was gone, frantically trying to cut through the interference and either retrieve the team, or at least secure Sheppard the intel he needed. In the meantime, the exploration team, Elizabeth in their midst, was walking around down there with no idea they shared that sector with at least one Wraith. At least, he prayed they didn't know. The alternative- He cut off the thought right there. With a grim expression, Sheppard stepped into the transport with Teyla and Ronan. Either way, it wouldn't be long until he knew for sure.

Elizabeth had shed her pack and crawled in under the console. It looked as if someone had deliberately trashed it. Baker hunkered down nearby, her constant companion since yesterday. Abernathy had assigned a guard to her at all times, she wasn't only civilian, lone working was an unnecessary risk in these unknown parts.

_'Besides_,' as he'd told Elizabeth the night before, '_Baker needs more confidence in her own abilities. She's smart and quick, she'll go far in the 'Gate programme, if you can get her to believe it. You seem to be doing that, I'll leave her with you_.' Elizabeth suspected he was making that work both ways. Baker was supposed to be as good for her, as she was for the lieutenant. Under the console she grinned to herself.

'Do you need any help, ma'am?' The polite question came from somewhere to the side of her where Baker crouched and Elizabeth's smile widened. Baker was smart and competent but knew very little about Ancient tech as of yet.

'No I'm fine thank you, lieutenant. I'm just going to see if I can restore power to the console.'

'Is that wise?'

Elizabeth laughed, 'I've done my fair share of maintenance and 'Gate training programs, Baker. There's a couple of simple things I can try. If it doesn't work, I'll leave it to the specialists.'

'Very well, ma'am.'

In Elizabeth's ear, a chirp sounded and she reached up, activating the comm as Baker stood back up and turned. The lieutenant barely registered the Wraith before it slammed into her. The world spun and she hit the floor.

'Major!' Sheppard saw Abernathy at the end of the corridor and called out, running straight for him.

'Colonel!' Abernathy turned in surprise.

'You've got to get your team out of here, Major, McKay's picked up Wraith lifesigns.'

'Jesus!' Abernathy had a part civilian team, two-thirds civilian to be accurate, spread out over the level, exploring different rooms. He touched the earpiece, activating the comm channel. 'Exploration Team Alpha, fall back to my position, we are evacuating, repeat, we are evacuating.' But all he heard was the low hiss of static in return.

'Not working?' Sheppard interjected. 'Yeah, McKay thinks the Wraith are using a jamming signal. Brannigan's team are on the way down. Standard search and sweep, seal it down as you go and pull your people back to the transport. Let's get everyone out.'

They split up, surprising the civilian specialist and their armed guards and ordering them out of the sector. Brannigan's team joined them, expanding the search, until they found the first body. Dr Haverstone, an archaeologist, the Wraith imprint on his chest a frightening confirmation of the danger they faced. Haverstone had been wandered off on his own for mere minutes.

Behind him Abernathy hissed in a breath and Sheppard turned, his voice an urgent whisper. 'Who's still missing?'

'Shipton, Captain Wright, Lt Baker and... Dr Weir.'

Cold fingers clamped around his heart and for a moment it felt as if he couldn't breathe. He forced the panic down, he was no good to her like this. 'Okay. Get the rest of your team out of here, Major.'

'Sir-.'

'_Now_, Major. Don't worry, we'll find them.'

'Yessir,' Abernathy withdrew to carry out orders and Sheppard activated the comm one more time. The jammer must have gone down, or else McKay cut through the interference, just for a moment because he heard an answering chirp from the comm at the other end. It was followed quickly by a scream, then a thud. Her voice cut the air, it's tone combining restraint and fear. '_Baker!'_

'_Elizabeth!_' He was running, listening for the telltale sounds of a struggle through the air instead of the comm link. Somewhere down the corridor and to the left, he heard a screech of rage, the chilling sound of a Wraith. He followed it, Ronan and Teyla hard on his heels, praying he'd be in time.

Lt. Baker was silent. The first thud hadn't been the last, and she'd jumped the Wraith as he'd gone for Elizabeth, still lying under the console. The fight was over quickly, the Wraith had recently fed, but his hunger was still his driving force and when he slammed her into a wall, using his entire body weight, she quickly succumbed, slipping unconscious to the floor.

Desperate as he was to feed, the Wraith refused to leave a potentially armed enemy behind him and he turned, reaching down to yank Elizabeth out from under the console. Between him and her terrified face, she held a pistol, pulled from her thigh holster. With a hiss of anger he went to strike but Elizabeth fired, unloading three shots into his chest.

With a sudden click the gun jammed and, with a sense of horror over the ill-timed glitch, Elizabeth rolled, racing around the central console for Baker's unconscious body and the weapons she carried. Behind her the Wraith screamed in anger, and Elizabeth snatched the other pistol from Baker's holster. The automatic weapon she carried was slung across her chest and there was no way for Elizabeth to extract it in time.

She rose to her knees, spinning round to catch the Wraith in her sights. Enraged as it was, the gun she held wasn't enough to take it down, but it was weakened by hunger, Elizabeth knew that, the thing should have killed her by now. She stepped back towards the door, keeping the weapon trained on the creature. It followed her slowly, pausing by Baker as if torn between the two of them. In her current state, the lieutenant didn't stand a chance against it.

'No!' She let a shot off, her aim wild and cursed herself silently, but it grabbed the Wraith's attention.

Sheppard slowed, stopped. The corridor ended, crisscrossing with at least two others. Five possible routes, and he had no idea which way to go. The word '_no_' cut through the silence, echoing up from the left and he didn't hesitate, running for the sound of her voice. He appeared behind her as it leapt, knocking her to the floor...

'Elizabeth!'

...and unloaded his clip into the Wraith.

Ronan caught him a second later, Teyla bringing up the rear, watching for signs of an ambush. As the Wraith fell back, Ronan fired, catching the creature full in the chest. It hit the ground, and Jon found himself running again, sliding to his knees next to Elizabeth's prone figure.

She was breathing and he felt a rush of relief. Glancing round, he saw Baker, slumped in the doorway. 'Ronan!' The Satedan strode over, one eye cautiously on the fallen Wraith, checking her vital signs. He nodded once. 'She's alive. Elizabeth?'

'Alive.'

He tapped the comm, 'Brannigan, we found them, but we need a medical team, we're bringing them out.' Not waiting for a reply, he reached down, sliding his arms under Elizabeth and lifting her until she settled against him. Nearby, Ronan swung Baker into a fireman's lift, his weapon still in his hand. Teyla stood on the corner, tightly gripping her weapon, watching both directions warily. Jon strode past and they headed back the way they had come. Moments later he could see the crossroads and increased his pace. Over the airwaves, Brannigan's voice sounded, the last thing he heard before a muffled explosion came from somewhere below. The world shattered around them, plunging everything into chaos and darkness.


	17. Chapter 17

'Jon,' Elizabeth coughed in the dusty atmosphere, trying to see through the semi-darkness, 'Jon!' She dragged herself off of him, gritting her teeth against the sudden pain that shot through her body. She pressed a hand to his chest feeling him breathe, and a wave of relief washed over her.

'Elizabeth?' Ronan's voice cut through the thick air, and she caught a breath, calling back his name in kind. The tall Satedan crawled over, pausing by a body to ascertain who it was. Under his fingers her felt her stir. 'I found Teyla.'

'Good,' she coughed in the smoke. 'Where's Baker?'

'Found her next to me when I woke up. She's dead.'

She felt a wrench of sudden grief, but pushed it aside. She needed to focus. 'Teyla?'

'Breathing. Sheppard?'

'The same.'

A cough startled them both. Teyla groped through the fog lying thickly over her mind and caught Ronan's hand, his fingers closing reassuringly over hers. 'Ronan?' she choked.

'Yep. Elizabeth's awake. Jon's unconscious.'

'Take... that back,' Sheppard's slurred voice came from the figure on the floor. He blinked away the haze, his eyes settling on Elizabeth's face, green eyes wide as she leant over him. For an utterly insane moment, and he'd had a few of them lately, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her, thankful she was alive. 'You okay?' he asked instead.

'So far, so good,' she grinned through the blood and dirt covering her face, but she wasn't telling the truth. He could see the pain in her eyes, a slight narrowing as she fought to hold it in check.

'Elizabeth?'

She shook her head, 'bruised, that's all, maybe a slight concussion; we were closer to where the explosion came out,' she explained, nodding towards a jagged hole, torn in the floor ahead. 'We got lucky.'

'Yeah. Feels like it.'

'I know. Can you sit up?'

He thought so, and Ronan came over, dragging him towards the wall so he could slump against it, but before he moved him more than a couple of feet, Sheppard's muted scream made him stop. He let go, noting the thin sheen of sweat on the Colonel's brow.

'Jon?' Her voice was laden with concern and he forced his eyes open to reassure her.

'I think I cracked a couple of ribs. Teyla?'

'I have injured my leg,' the Athosian muttered through gritted teeth as she moved the offending limb to sit up. A sigh escaped her, 'but otherwise I am fine.'

'Ronan?'

'Nothin' feels broken.'

'Good.'

Jon looked around from his position on the floor, pulling a torch carefully from his vest to shine in the darkened corners of the collapsed corridor. Beams had fallen and twisted against one another above their heads and beyond the hole in the floor. Another pile of rubble blocked their way back.

'I think it was an explosive device, possibly set up by the Wraith who attacked us,' Elizabeth said, noting where his eyes rested.

'Let's hope it took any remaining Wraith with it,' he muttered, lifting a hand activate his comm. signal, but only silence met his ears.

'Dammit. Comms are down, or this is broken. Either way, let's assume they're on their way and knew where we were at the time of the explosion. Since everyone's intact, we should sit tight until they manage to communicate-,' he cut off with a gasp, his ribs angry at the abuse. Nods from all three sides; truth be told, he didn't think there was anywhere else they could go, but making inaction sound productive was necessary to alleviate their worry. On second thoughts, looking round at the people trapped with him, none of them were given to panicking in a dicey situation.

Elizabeth moved over to Teyla, checking over her leg. A shard of metal had embedded itself in her thigh. Weir stripped off her shirt, tearing strips off to bind Teyla's leg, securing the shard in place. She couldn't risk removing it.

Finished, she turned her attention to Ronan, but he shook his head, apart from some general bruising the Satedan was unharmed. Away from Jon's line of sight she lifted her t-shirt, nodding her head to Ronan to take a look. Up her side, a massive bruise, all shades of red, spread round her back. When he ran gentle fingers over the area, she hissed in a breath, but he went ahead and carefully applied pressure anyway. It wasn't too bad, it just stung like hell. 'I don't think there's any internal damage, but you're gonna hurt for a while. Everything else okay?'

She nodded and then clamped a hand to her head to stop the room spinning, 'I think so. Headache. Maybe a sprained wrist, think you can bind it?' Not exactly first aid protocol, but she needed to function, she could heal properly later.

'Sure,' he held out his hand, and she passed him the shirt. He reduced the rest of it to rags in short order, using two of them to bind her left wrist tightly, before they turned their attention to Sheppard.

'Jon? Jon!'

Sheppard started, wincing at the pain and forcing his eyes open. 'Yeah?'

'Jon. I think you have a concussion, but I need you to focus. Think you can do that for me?'

'Sure, sure,' he muttered, his eyes closing again.

'Jon!'

'Yeah,' he tried again, and this time kept them open as she ran deft hands over his limbs, but nothing elicited a reaction of pain. She forced aside the thought that he couldn't feel it simply because he wasn't aware enough. 'Okay, I think you've got a few fractured ribs, but everything else checks out-,' she stopped, her words broken by a cough. Looking up, it took her a minute to detect Ronan and Teyla through the haze that had thickened around them.

The smoke was getting worse. 'The fire,' she choked out, 'the suppressant systems must not be working.'

'Then we gotta move,' Ronan replied.

Elizabeth nodded, the Satedan was right, and she left Jon's side to help Teyla up, knowing there was no way she could bear his weight. Cursing, Sheppard struggled to his feet, the pain cutting through the fog. Leaving Teyla balancing herself against a wall, she made her way over to the hole in the floor, stopping far short of its near edge.

The flames roared below, she could feel their heat from where she stood. Squinting along the corridor, she could make out the wall of rubble separating them from the rest of Atlantis. Breathing through a tiny scrap of rag, she turned back to the others, almost limping as she listed to one side, trying to alleviate the pain.

'We...c-can't get out that way,' she wheezed, pausing to lean against the wall next to Teyla, choking on the smoke. She pushed past Ronan, who propped Sheppard against the wall and turned with her, looking for a weak spot in the wall of debris. They found one underneath a beam, precarious, but their only way out of the tiny section of corridor they found themselves trapped in. With Ronan moving most of the heavy items, Elizabeth managed to create a small hole and look through into the cool, dark corridor beyond.

'If we enlarge this and get through, we can reseal it, buy us some time until they find us,' she told Ronan. He nodded, helping her haul more debris out of the way. She sent him through first, over his objections, it wasn't possible for her to pull either Jon or Teyla through. It felt odd and familiar, taking charge of the situation, and she was grateful to Ronan for not arguing the toss. Jon was second to last. She helped him tighten the tac vest, providing some measure of support and stability for his ribs before she helped him under the beam. 'You go first,' he choked out, hoping it sounded like an order.

'Don't be an idiot, Jon! You won't make it through without help on _both_ sides, now go!'

_Now go!_

Those words. They still had the power to haunt him, but Elizabeth couldn't have known what it was she was saying. He gritted his teeth, taking a long hard look at her. 'You better be right behind me,' he said, lifting his hand to brush aside a loose lock of hair. It could have been old regrets or new desires, he didn't know, but for one moment, he ignored the pain, leaned in and kissed her, just once before he let her go. When he drew away, for the first time in weeks, he read something other a bleak silence in her eyes. Something her old strength and determination shone through; more like the woman he'd met in a darkened Atlantean laboratory in sector ten than the person he'd watched walk by him these past few weeks.

'Right behind me, remember?' he coughed on the smoke, but he refused to go without saying it one more time.

She nodded, unsmiling and knelt, helping him wriggle through the opening. Ronan must have caught hold of him, for all of a sudden he slithered through and disappeared. A voice carried through the blockade, 'okay, Elizabeth, it's clear!'

Ronan. Elizabeth glanced up at the beam above her head to check its stability, closing her eyes against the sudden rush of wooziness before she ducked her head, crawling through the gap until she ran out of room to manuevre and then a pair of hands reached for her. Hands on shoulders, he twisted her round and pulled her through so her back, not her stomach, took the punishment, jagged edges tearing along her skin.

She screamed, her t-shirt far less protection than Ronan's leather, or the tac vests Jon and Teyla wore. It was over in seconds and Ronan held her firmly until the initial shock subsided and she could sit up by herself. Teyla sat with Jon, lying on the floor where the other man had dumped him. Behind her, she could hear Ronan blocking out the fire and smoke, in front, Jon watched her, sweating from the pain, and she nodded, 'I'm okay, I'm okay.'

The corridor beyond had suffered less damage, the laboratory lay ahead with the dead Wraith and the hallway beyond lay in darkness. They were out of the fire, but Elizabeth wondered what waited for them in those shadows. Behind her, breathing hard, Ronan finally sat down, leaning against a wall. Opposite, Teyla sat in a similar position, unbuckling her tac vest. She slid it over her head with a little difficulty and pushed it across to Elizabeth, kneeling over Jon.

'Wear this.'

'Teyla... No! If another Wraith is out there-'

'I am a better shot than you Elizabeth, I have a gun, and I am not that badly injured, and you t-shirt is in tatters,' it wasn't false modesty. It was the plain truth, and Teyla knew the extent her own foolishness so well, she wasn't about to let Elizabeth repeat her mistakes.

'I can't-'

'Do it!' Jon's voice grated up at her. 'Don't be stupid, Elizabeth, the baby's already at risk from you being knocked around, take what protection you can.'

Reluctantly, she nodded, unwillingly to deprive Teyla of the body armour, but it made sense, more than she liked to admit. She loosened the buckles slightly, and with Ronan's help, slid it over her head.

'Now what?' It was Ronan, his words directed at Sheppard.

'Now, we find out what's that way,' he replied, rolling his eyes in the direction of the darkened corridor head. 'Elizabeth? he turned back to see her watching him.

'More storerooms, labs, the usual. No living quarters, transport rooms or anything useful. They're all back the way we just came. If we keep going, we there might be a way out onto the pier,' her gaze was intense and he frowned, wondering what she was looking for. 'How are you feeling?'

'No worse. Why?'

'You seem more alert. I'm wondering if I was wrong about a concussion,' wrong about him, but not about herself. The world wasn't settling down and it was getting harder to concentrate.

'Finally. Some good news.'

'Yeah,' she tried to raise a smile and shook her head to clear it. 'We might find a way up as well, double back the way we came to the transport room. That's if the explosion didn't collapse any of the levels above us.'

'It's a start. C'mon folks, let's move out.'

Ronan helped him up, and Elizabeth turned to find Teyla on her feet already. She went over and slipped an arm around the Athosian's waist and, together, they limped on after Jon and Ronan.


	18. Chapter 18

Emergency lighting wasn't much, and in places flickered, sometimes going out completely. They pushed on by torchlight, taking frequent rests as Elizabeth, Jon and Teyla found it harder and harder to keep going. Light streamed into the hallway, making for a welcome sight and together they wearily staggered in, Teyla sliding down against the wall just inside, her weapon trained on the open doorway. Tired as she was, they couldn't take any chances that another Wraith was out there and might track them.

Elizabeth let her go, leaning over the console with her head buried in her hands, thankful for the temporary respite. The dizziness wasn't abating, and she had nearly passed out a couple of times. Teyla had kept her going, but exhaustion was making it worse. Ronan slid Jon into a chair and the Colonel shifted position until he could alleviate most of the pressure from his cracked ribs. 'Looks like some kind of storage room,' he remarked, glancing around at the neatly stacked items lining the shelves. 'Anything we can use to get a signal back to the control room?'

The Satedan shrugged and walked over, randomly looking for items whilst Elizabeth pushed herself away from the console. 'Let me have a look, I might be able to rig something together.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah. Comes of spending too much time with Rodney McKay, and my cousin, of course.'

'Cousin?' He sounded surprised, his voice cracking with the strain of his injuries.

'Didn't Lizzie have a cousin called Martin?'

'Lizzie?'

'Thought it might make things easier.'

A strange expression crossed his face, but it wasn't one she could decipher in her current state. 'Not that I know of,' he said, answering her question instead. Another loss then. If Jon hadn't known, the chances were she didn't; another difference in their lives, another person she was never going to see again. She leant against the shelves, scanning the items and pointing out one or two to Ronan. 'Pass me that... and that. See if you can find any tools, or anything I can use as a tool.'

Carefully she took a seat on the floor, and lay the items out in front of her, she didn't recognise them, but she recognised some of their parts. Looking up, she examined the console in front of her. Ronan added a knife and a couple more bits to the pile in front of her. There was definite potential here. She removed her earpiece and, using Ronan's knife, she wedged the tip into a seam and split open the casing before turning her attention to one of the articles from the shelf. She stripped it into its component pieces and then turned round, lying down to slide herself under the control panel. She needed power, and this room had it.

She worked in silence, punctuated only by requests, and she must have passed out at some point because she found herself out from under the console, staring up into Ronan's face.

'Hey. You okay?'

Before she could answer Jon appeared, limping around the edge of the console, his eyes searching her face. 'You okay?'

'I think I have a concussion, and it's not getting any better.'

His jaw clenched, and her eyes closed. With a grunt, he knelt and shook her shoulder. 'Hey. Hey! ' She opened them again. 'Stay with me okay?'

'Yeah, sure,' although she couldn't guarantee it. 'Nearly done.'

'Good.'

Ronan came with her this time, and she showed him what to connect and where, but she greying out again, and even his gravelly shout couldn't rouse her. It some minutes before she managed to reply, and then she was gone again.

Elizabeth woke to the sound of clatter. Trying to open sandy eyes, she went to sit up, a cry of pain wrenching out of her. A hand caught her shoulder, forcing her back down, and it was then she realised she was lying on someone; forcing open her eyelids, she saw him looking right back down at her. 'Jon,' the word made it past her cracked and dry throat. He smiled, just a little, a weary tug at the corner of his mouth. She shifted slightly, alleviating the pressure on her back, her fingers tightening around his. 'Jon?'

'Shh. They're coming, hold on.'

He was sitting with his back against the wall, his right arm held across his chest, his other hand holding hers. Nearby Teyla sat and Ronan paced impatiently by the wall of debris. 'What happened?'

'It worked, we managed to contact them, they're excavating their way through to us, so we moved back to the barricade. The whole section was sealed off by the explosion.'

'I don't-'

'Hush. I know. You've been unconscious for a while. Had me worried there.'

'You had all of us concerned,' Teyla's voice entered the conversation, 'are you feeling well, Elizabeth?'

'I'll pass,' she replied wearily, closing her eyes again. She pushed them open, finding his face, 'I'm sorry...'

'What? Why!'

'I was... tired of fighting,' her eyes rolling closed, she wondered, briefly, if she'd ever open them again.

'Yeah. I know,' and he watched as she closed her eyes again. 'Hey! C'mon! Keeping talking, stay with me.'

'Try...' she mumbled, her words almost lost in the sounds of the rescue team, digging their way closer. She tried to concentrate on the noises, describe them to him, but her eyelids felt like lead and her body was heavy, like she couldn't move.

'C'mon 'Liz'bbeth, c'mon,' he murmured desperately. He let go of her hand, smoothing back the hair from her face, 'wake up, honey, wake up for me.' She tried to answer, he could see it, but she lost the battle and succumbed to silence. The sound of the rescue crew came closer, and suddenly Ronan joined in, pulling aside twisted pieces of metal. Teyla dragged herself further out of the way until she was beside Elizabeth, using her body to shelter the diplomat from incidental pieces of flying debris. With a shout, they breached the wall, a hand reached through to grasp Ronan's, just for a second before they went back to work, enlarging the exit until it was big enough for Keller to climb through, dragging a medical kit with her.

'Okay, what've we got?' she asked, running a professional eye over all four of them. Ronan was obviously unhurt, Teyla and Jon both awake and aware of their surroundings from what she could tell, although Jon worried her slightly more. His reactions were slow and he had an obvious contusion on his forehead.

Elizabeth however, was unconscious and Keller opened one eye at a time, flashing a penlight into them. Although the reaction wasn't quite what she expected, it was enough to alleviate her worst fears until they got her to the scanners and she set about stabilising her patient. 'Jon?' Jennifer cut through his absent thoughts several minutes later, 'we have to take her now, I need you to let go.'

'Huh?' the Colonel looked up uncomprehendingly and Keller tapped the back of his hand with one finger. 'Let. Go.'

He almost hesitated, she saw it in his eyes, but he did as he was told, disentangling himself from her so Keller and Ronan could transfer her safely to a stretcher. With eager hands grasping on the other side of the wall, she was moved through in short order, followed, one by one, by the others.

There were more gurneys, but Elizabeth was already gone by the time he climbed through, his chest burning. They laid him on a gurney and Keller loomed over him, 'Colonel, how do you feel?'

'Elizabeth,' he croaked, 'is she alright?'

'She'll be fine, Colonel.'

'And-'

'We'll have to wait and see. But she had no internal injuries, just some severe bruising and cuts, so it looks good. I want you rest now, I'm going to give you something to help with the pain, okay?'

He tried to object, he wanted a clear head to ask questions, find out what was happening with Elizabeth, if there were any more Wraith, but it was too late. He felt a needle pierce his skin and the world receded as the drug swamped his system.


	19. Chapter 19

Bright infirmary lights shone in her eyes and Teyla blinked them away. Nearby, she heard voices and moved her head on the pillow to find their source. In the bed next to her Elizabeth lay, eyes closed and beyond her, Sheppard sat in a chair by her side, long legs crossed in front of him, one arm across his chest; watching her. Behind him stood McKay, laptop lying across his arm, explaining where the Wraith had come from. Jon was listening with half an ear, taking it all in but the important information has already been passed on.

It was the only one.

'It came from one of the laboratories that were being surveyed. For some reason, this particular Wraith was in stasis, and then the presence of the ATA gene activated the equipment in there, inadvertently releasing him.

'I'll tell Abernathy to be more careful.'

'Actually, you might want to tell Elizabeth. She and Baker inventoried that room; Abernathy never stepped foot inside personally. I'd say, tell Baker, but you'd need a medium. We recovered the body, two more died on the level below you, a Dr Shipton and Captain Wright . Carter's planning a memorial service.'

'Then we shall attend,' Jon looked up at the sound of Teyla's voice, and managed a smile. Golden eyes observed him, he was obviously in some pain, but none the worse. 'How is Elizabeth?'

'Sedated. Keller says it'll wear off soon, and then she should wake up of her own accord, other than that, they're both fine. How you feeling?'

'Much better, thank you.'

'Good. Keller said it was a minor surgery, no nerve damage, but you'll need to work it up slowly. Your family came by, but I think baby Torren was a little upset you wouldn't wake up. Kanaan took him off to find some food. They should be back soon.'

'Speaking of food,' it was McKay, 'I'm going to head off and eat, it's nearly twenty-one-hundred and I don't want to give Jennifer another patient. Let me know if she wakes up,' with a wave to Teyla, he left and Jon stood carefully, dragging the chair round to sit between the two beds, talking in a low voice with the Athosian until her family returned.

It was another three hours before Elizabeth stirred. Jon had fallen asleep, leaning on the side of her bed and Teyla had already left, having convinced the medics she would return first thing in the morning for a check-up. 'Jon?' Her throat was dry and her head pounded. 'Jon?' she tried again, pulling her hand from his lax grasp and shaking his shoulder gently.

'Huh?' He bolted upright, blinking hard to clear his vision and gritted his teeth against the wave of pain he had inadvertently evoked. Waking abruptly had its advantages in the field, but not so much in the infirmary. He rose, looking down at her, that familiar half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as the pain subsided. 'Hey. Thought you were gonna sleep all night.'

'Sounds like a plan,' she replied. Despite having slept for several hours, she still felt tired. Jon took his hand in hers.

'Baby's fine,' he said, 'but Keller won't tell me if it's a boy or a girl.'

'You're curious _now_?' she murmured, a faint smile touching her lips.

'Well, you know... it was a close call there...' He didn't explain, he didn't need to. She understood. He'd nearly lost them both out there today, and he wasn't even sure just exactly _what_ it was that he'd so nearly lost. He wanted to know. More than that, when the initial rush of relief had gone, and he'd suddenly _wanted_ to know, Keller wouldn't tell him. She wasn't willing to negate doctor-patient confidentiality. He understood that, but at the same time, he was fairly sure she would have told him if she'd known Elizabeth had given him equal autonomy over anything involving the baby.

But she hadn't. Everything between them had fallen apart, and then they'd avoided each other. After the past month of watching her run around Atlantis, unable to simply sit down with her, talk or even sit in comfortable silence, he wasn't sure he could go back to that. And after what had happened today, he was absolutely _sure_ he couldn't.

'I know you're tired,' he began, 'but we need to talk.'

'We do?' Her stomach turned over, his tone belying the innocent words. She probably wouldn't like where this was going.

'Yeah. We can't do this anymore.'

'Do what?' She was stalling and it sounded ridiculous, but that didn't stop her saying it.

'Walk around avoiding each other. You were right, you don't have the energy to squander on this, not now. If this were a normal posting, it wouldn't be an issue, we'd have downtime, other people transferring in and out, the rest of the country to lose each other in. But we're in a city, Atlantis is big, but not that big, and we're surrounded by an ocean. We can't get away from each other. One of us has to go back to Earth, and I'm not saying that it has to be you.'

Yep. There it was; the one thing she hadn't wanted to hear. Despite the estrangement between them, at least they'd both been here, in the city.

'You're saying we can't work through this.'

He shrugged, 'I'm pretty much out of words there. Took me the whole evening to come up with that speech, you'll have to wait until tomorrow for another one.' She smiled, couldn't help it. His easy charm got to her, even whilst she mentally cursed it. 'You walked away, 'Liz'beth. I understand, sort of. But I don't see another alternative.'

She nodded, turning his words over in her mind. 'So if you left and I stayed, you'd really be okay with that?'

'No,' he'd considered lying, but he couldn't, not to her. She'd raise a eyebrow, give him that disbelieving look and he'd be sunk.

'Why?' She was studying him like a stranger, weighing up his words.

She was pushing, and it irritated him all of a sudden. Elizabeth could normally see what was right in front of her, even if no one else could. Having her suddenly clueless wasn't helping him. 'Nevermind,' he replied instead, 'this should probably wait 'til you're on your feet.'

'No. Talk to me.'

He shook his head, ''Liz'beth, I don't... talk... like that.'

'Yeah,' she was grinning at him, 'I know.'

'So, what? This is deliberate torture?'

'Kind of. Not for long though, I think you might be saved by the need for sleep.'

'So I just need to keep stalling,' he asked, raising a hopeful eyebrow.

'Rather you didn't,' she murmured,' but she was too tired to argue the point for long.

'How about...' his voice trailed off and he leant in and kissed her in lieu of an answer. Despite her earlier comment, he felt her fingers slide around the back of his neck and he deepened the kiss, her mouth opening under his. He wanted to slip his arms around her, cup her face and kiss her again, but instead he broke away, aware of the strain he'd put on his ribs, bending over her. He sank into the chair instead , her fingers wrapping more tightly around his and she shifted onto her side, wincing.

'Easy,' he murmured, but she ignored him, sliding down until she lay facing him, 'do I still need to stall?' he asked.

'You want to?'

'No.'

'Good,' he pulled the chair closer, leaning on one elbow so his hand to brush back her hair. 'Go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up.'

'You should rest,' came the objection.

'I'm fine. Strapped up and drugged, can't feel a thing.'

'Liar.'

'Yeah, but you can't do anything about it at the moment.'

She laughed quietly, 'so what now?'

'Now,' he replied, 'you sleep. After that, we'll see.'

'Didn't we already have this conversation?' she asked, almost cutting herself off with a yawn.

'Yeah, but I didn't like the way it turned out. On top of which, we nearly died today. I think second chances are compulsory at this point.'

But the problems they had were still there, nothing had been resolved, Wraith and explosions in the equation or not. She wanted to tell him, tried, but she was too tired to pursue it. He understood though, the nonsense that trailed off as she succumbed made a kind of sense. To him.

'We'll work it out, Liz'beth, I promise.'

With his words ringing in her ears, she slept.


	20. Chapter 20

'You're _what_?'

'Going back out with the exploration team.'

'Elizabeth, are you _insane_?' he paused, 'scratch that.' He knew her too well, or didn't, depending on your point of view. Elizabeth, like Lizzie, had an element of unpredictability, but in different directions. Thanks to that he still had trouble orientating himself around her at times.

'No, I'm not insane, I'm just doing my job.'

'Your job does not involve throwing yourself in harm's way!' he argued.

'The Wraith was a fluke, you said so yourself. If Carter can't use me, I'm out of Atlantis, and once the IOA has me on Earth, the chances that they'll ever let me back is slim. Look, I won't be able to avoid them forever, but when I do go to Earth, I'd prefer to up to my neck in something right here in the Pegasus galaxy, so I have a reason to return.'

'You have a reason,' he pointed out, referring to himself and Elizabeth.

'One I can wave at _them_, Jon.'

'Fair comment. Hey,' he caught her wrist, turning her round to face him, 'I'm... concerned. You've only been out of the infirmary for a week. I think it's a bit soon for Carter to call you back on active duty. I'm surprised Keller allowed it.'

'Jennifer didn't get a choice. I requested it.'

'You _what_?' And they were back at the start again. Elizabeth smiled to herself, folding the last of the tiny garments and other useful sundries that Teyla had given her.

'You can calm down, Jon-'

'I'm calm,' he countered, interrupting her.

'-I'm not in with the scouting party. I'm part of the follow up science team. I've been speaking Ancient since I was about eighteen. I can translate faster than anyone else on base, the inventories will go quicker with me there. We'll know what we've got and what we can use almost as soon as we know it exists.'

'Point taken,' he replied sourly, and changed the subject. 'Crawley in stores caught up with me yesterday, wanted me to pass on a request. With your permission, he'd like to carve a cradle. He knows one of the Athosian who can supply the raw materials, and carpentry's a hobby of his, doesn't get much chance to indulge it out here in a high-tech Ancient city.' Elizabeth smiled, taking a seat opposite him, a blood-red sunset streaming through the window to her quarters.

'It's a nice gesture, but he doesn't have to go to that much trouble.'

'No trouble, a pleasure, or so he said. I got the impression he would've done the same for Teyla, but he didn't want to accidentally insult her, in case she invited him for a training session.'

She outright laughed at that, and he smiled, watching her. Although she'd been back in her own quarters for a week, he hadn't seen her much. She hadn't been on active duty with the exploration team, but she had been in demand as a translator, dividing the rest of her time between Jonathan and Torren. It was good to hear her laugh. Her grief was still somewhat raw, and Baker's death had only added to the burden. She'd left the infirmary for a few hours, standing pale and tall through the memorial. He'd stood next to her, but she hadn't broken, not even when he'd taken her back to sickbay.

That had come later, when she'd made it back to her own quarters. He'd learned something new about her that night and realised something, in retrospect, about Lizzie. And then he'd been called away, and he hadn't seen her again for two days. Oddly, whilst he found the mismatch in their schedules frustrating, he had to admit it was probably for the best. Elizabeth was keen on a slow pace, and he couldn't blame her. Lurking somewhere deep down, he harboured a certain amount of guilt, for turning his mind, hell, his heart too, from one version of Elizabeth to another.

Elizabeth herself hadn't long left behind her reality's counterpart of him; with a far deeper tie than he had shared with her in this universe. Her own sense of guilt would be far more profound.

Still, that didn't mean he had to like it; even if it was for the best.

'Huh?' He missed what she'd been saying, and shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. Introspection. He was sure he'd told her he wasn't big on that. 'Dinner?' he asked instead, redirecting a potential question. Elizabeth nodded, holding out her hand and he pulled her to her feet, wincing slightly. Keller's scanners had confirmed her ad-hoc diagnosis of cracked ribs. It would take a while before they knit completely.

'Sorry, I forgot.'

He hadn't. In fact, with Elizabeth so close, and warm, definitely warm, he found it more inconvenient almost by the minute. He was fairly sure Keller would put the brakes on _them_ too; although she'd allowed Elizabeth back to work, she'd restricted her working hours to six a day with no off-world travel. With no one to monitor her every moment of the day however, she was probably doing more than that. Curiously, despite the fact that work interfered with their schedules, their conversation revolved around Atlantis. When he had pointed it out to her, she had shaken her head with a smile.

'Atlantis is my home, Jon, it's like expecting a farmer not to talk about their land, or an artist to switch off from work. I never worked on Atlantis, I _lived_ here, heart and soul. I love this city more than any other place I've ever lived. I want to see her restored; living again.' And he'd understood something else about the old Elizabeth Weit. Lizzie had loved Atlantis. Hell, the one time they'd been kicked out by the returning Ancients, she'd hidden in her apartment from the rest of the world, including her old team. She'd mourned for its loss, they all had in a way, but she had taken it the hardest.

It one more common thread that tied the two of them together. There was something tragic in the idea that they could never meet. Lizzie would have found it fascinating to talk with her counterpart, and learn how their lives had differed. The mess hall was quiet, and they chose a corner by the window, watching a silent game of chess between Zelenka and one of the technicians, Kelly, or Kellerson... Jon couldn't remember right now, not that it seemed to matter much. Elizabeth watched, eyes narrowed as she followed a play by Zelenka and hissed in a breath.

'Kellerson's got him now,' she whispered, careful that her voice didn't carry across to the players. He knew, he'd seen the fatal mistake too, but he played dumb, letting her explain, just so he could watch her. When she caught him smiling, she knew she'd been duped and glared at him accusingly. The grin widened, and he wondered if their daughter would look anything like her. Elizabeth had finally asked Keller for an answer to the big question, and the doctor had caved like a house of cards. If she was smart, she'd want to look like her mother and not inherit his crazy hair.

A daughter. He had a daughter. Nearly.

And then the memory rose, wiping the smile off his face, _told your sister yet, Meredith?_ He knew McKay hadn't. The trouble was, neither had he, and with the leave rotas were being organised, he was due some time Earthside.

Time to tell the family.

Crap.


	21. Chapter 21

Elizabeth watched Zelenka move his bishop across the board. She winced, unconsciously echoing Jon's thought.

Fatal.

And a reflection of her own, current, predicament. Although they had fallen into old habits, talking about work, watching the ocean, meeting for breakfast, in terms of a relationship they hadn't exactly proceeded very far, and she was conflicted over how she felt about that.

'So, why's Zelenka's sunk?' Jon asked quietly.

She explained, watching the game, until she'd looked up and caught his eye. He was grinning, trying his damndest not to, but grinning all the same, arms crossed over his chest, long legs stretched out in front of him as he leaned back, just watching her, listening to her voice, for no other reason than he wanted to.

God help her!, he looked so like the man she had left behind, his little ploy so familiar, that it made her ache inside. Torn by grief and love, guilt and desire, she caught her breath, overwhelmed by a sudden burning need.

Bloody hormones!

They weren't entirely to blame; but it was a start. She watched him through her lashes, a quiet survey. He was more relaxed than she ever remembered seeing him.

Then; his mood switched, like a snap of your fingers, he went from relaxed and happy, to tense. He had remembered something, and it wasn't good. Despite his outward careless and casual demeanour, Jon had a range of subtle emotions that he often worked his way through in short order. His sudden, mercurial mood changes were somewhat more abrupt than his counterpart's, and she wondered if it was something she could get used to.

It was a contrast between the two of them, sitting starkly next to the likeness she had seen only moments before.

'Jon?'

He took a breath, letting it out slowly, his eyes narrowing. 'Nothin',' he remarked, his words a lie.

'Liar. Tell me.'

He paused, and she didn't push, waiting for him to reply. He leant forward, elbows on the table, looking at her, 'Carter's organising the winter leave schedules. I'm due some time off; I should visit my family...' He didn't say the rest, so she did.

'And apprise them of the situation?'

'I guess. If your papers come through in time. What about you? Want to visit your family?'

She shrugged. 'I don't know. I mean, my mother's alive here, my cousin never existed and I apparently own a dog called Sedgewick, as well as an ex-boyfriend-we're-still-friends-Simon. I don't know how to fit any of that into my life, Jon.'

'But your mom's alive. Don't you want to see her?'

'I don't know. I mean, I do but... Did Elizabeth get on with her mother?'

'I think they were close, yeah. Actually McKay or Teyla might know better than me on that score.'

'I'll talk to them, I hope she did.' Score another point for the twins brigade, another thread of their lives coloured the same. 'What about you? Jon wasn't close to his family. He had a brother and a sister and his father was a bit of a hard-ass from what he would say, which wasn't a lot.'

'Hmm,' it was non-committal and Elizabeth chalked up another likeness. She'd never met her almost-in-laws.

'Want me to come with you?'

He shook his head, 'at least, not at first. If you come back to Earth, and I think Carter'll schedule us in together if we ask her, then we'll talk about it. I've started mending fencing since my dad died; I guess I should let them know I knocked up my boss.'

'Coarse, Jon. Thanks.' It was odd hearing that from him. Point two on the mismatch chart.

'No worse than hearing you say hard-ass,' he replied, smiling and picking up his coffee, 'what did you do? Hang around with too many marines?'

'I've worked with more than a few, but I find the flyboys are just a bad,' she teased, raising an eyebrow. He merely grinned and looked away, tactical withdrawal rather than engage her in open battle.

'So,' he changed to a safer subject, 'how's Jonathan? I haven't seen you most of the week, but I'm fairly sure you've squeezed some time in your schedule to see him.'

'Jennifer discharged him as a patient a few days ago, much later than she should have. She's been stalling, not that I blame her,' her own hand stole, unconsciously, to the gentle rise of her abdomen. Although Keller hadn't been keen on the idea of giving up Atlantis, now, if Carter were ordered to send him back to Earth, she'd quit and follow her son, anywhere across space if she had to.

_I'll always be a medic, Elizabeth, no matter where I go. I love this place and the work we do, I don't regret a single moment I've spent here, not even when we lost Lizzie, it was a privilege to work alongside her, and to see the human spirit in action under the most terrible of circumstances. It wasn't pretty, but it was an honour. But if I let them take Jonathan, if I don't go with him, that'll be the single biggest regret of my life, more than giving up Atlantis. I won't do it._

And Elizabeth had understood; it had alleviated some of her own burdens too. She wasn't alone in this fight, and Jonathan had his mother back, he didn't need her now. She'd felt relief and dismay in equal measure over the thought.

'They haven't applied any pressure on Carter either way as of yet. If they leave Jonathan alone, they'll have to leave us alone too,' Jon replied. _Us_. It wasn't deliberate, it was automatic , and another thing he had shared with his counterpart in a different reality. He said it that way, because he thought that way. The concept burned inside her heart.

'How's McKay coping with being a father all of a sudden?'

'He'll be fine once he's over the shell-shock. And I have a picture to give his sister, the first time he held Jonathan; the expression on his face is priceless,' he grinned.

Oh yeah, so alike! And yet, she saw more of that playful side of his nature in this Jon Sheppard than in his counterpart. Oh, the photo incident was the same, sure, but it wasn't something he would have done if he hadn't been trying to keep the mood deliberately light. It was like he shed the more seasoned, harsher soldier side of him for that last day with her. _This_ Jon Sheppard hadn't allowed the battles Pegasus to drown out the lighter side of his nature. Sometimes, she was almost more relaxed around _this _version of him than-

She halted there, that thought was a betrayal in itself. Not that it stopped the thought.

He walked her back to her quarters, and they lingered in the doorway like nervous teenagers before he realised he was being ridiculous and kissed her. Under his, her lips were soft, giving way to his demands. She wrapped her arms around him, fingers sliding into his hair, and he backed her up against the door, holding an arm around her waist as he waves the other over the control panel, keeping her up as the door slipped away.

It whispered shut behind them and he turned, pinning her back against it. She didn't break contact, not once, and he resisted the temptation to pull her tight against him, aware of the small but significant and fragile burden she carries.

Elizabeth, however, knew her limits far better, and pressed herself against him; melding soft curves against the hard lines of his body and for a moment he forgot to breathe. But she needed more space and time, so he pulled away, not failing to see the disappointment in her eyes.

'If I ask you to stay?' she asked gently.

'I've only got so much willpower, 'Liz'beth. You tryin' to kill me?' The moment the quip is out of his mouth, he realised it was a mistake, but the flicker of hurt in her eyes was gone almost before it was there, and he knew she was trying. He was insanely proud of her for that.

'Goodnight, Elizabeth.'

He brushed back a lock of hair from her face, his fingers trailing down across the small rise of her abdomen. He hadn't done that before and she was tempted to pull him back against her. But she resisted and he waved a hand over the control panel, slipping into the hallway.

'Goodnight, Jon.'

He nodded, not that he slept anytime soon, but then neither did she. She laid her forehead against the cool metal of the door and allowed the turmoil to settle.

Second impressions. They were a bitch.


	22. Chapter 22

If Keller had been Airforce, the chances of her keeping a child on Atlantis would have been slim to none. The city was still a military outpost. As things stood however, Teyla and her son were refugees of a fashion, as well as civilian, Jonathan and Elizabeth, including her unborn child, came under that heading too.

It was a grey area, and Carter wasn't so much fighting for, as quietly ignoring their presence on Atlantis. Ten years ago, she wouldn't have been happy with kids, and untrained civilians, integrating themselves so well into what was, effectively, a military base.

But then ten years ago, it _would_ have been military, not a joint expedition with leaders drawn from both sides. And in that intervening time, she had met dozens of other cultures who saw things differently, met Cassie, pulled refugees through the 'Gate and into the SGC, a purely military base. She's seen other realities and she knew what this place could be.

It still made her nervous, but she would adapt, and with another ZPM, dug up by Elizabeth's translations, en route to the city right now, in the hands of Brannigan's new team, it was becoming less of a burden and more a routine part of life.

She cast an eye over the schedule. A few of them would make it back to Earth for Christmas. Only personnel with grown up kids, or partners who understood the danger of their work had been brought through on the second wave of the expedition, but Dr Carling, in molecular genetics, he had a wife back home with two kids in their late teens. He'd been on of her priorities for a visit back to Earth. His contract was coming to a close. She wasn't sure he'd be coming back when it finished.

And that was a shame, he was one of the best, and the molecular genetics department had made leaps in their progress since he came. He was a people person, good at leadership, the high quality and speed of his work had made him stand out enough for the Expedition to approach him and he had accepted a year's initial contract.

But if there were a civilian base in Pegasus? Or even in Atlantis itself? Would he consider bringing his family here and staying on? His wife was an artist, they couldn't hire her directly, but the thought entered Sam's head that maybe that was what they needed here, a range of skills to make this place a community.

She couldn't help but think of her counterpart, heading up Alpha, an entire world devoted to co-ordinating research and resources across the 'Gate linked worlds. That Sam Carter has kids, who grew up amongst the stars. Could she ever have that too?

Atlantis would never be entirely safe, but then nor would Earth.

Soon, she would have to consider doing something about it instead of quietly ignoring it. If they allowed Teyla, Keller and Weir to stay here with the children, then they had already paved the way and someone was going to have to push for a change in the official status.

It would take them a stone's throw away from going public. Sam didn't know whether to fear or embrace that. One thing was certain though, she'd be on Earth when it happened, and Elizabeth would likely be in leadership here again if the power-that-be had any sense. This place wasn't only her home, it was in her blood.

Sam belonged between the stars, she couldn't tie herself to a place like this and Woolsey, whilst a good man in his own right, wasn't the one to lead Atlantis into a new era either. With a sigh, she shook her head, dismissing the problem for now. Tapping on a few keys, she sent the schedule to every inbox and electronic noticeboard in the city; leave would start the following week. Much as she wanted to, for now Sam wasn't taking any respite herself. The situation still hung in the balance.

Dr Keller wasn't in the infirmary to receive her email. She was sitting in her quarters, a small and sleep warm bundle cradled in her arms. Jonathan McKay was a constant source of wonder to his new parent and, although this had come a little sooner in her life than she had planned, his mother was making the most of him.

Outside their quarters unheard footsteps came to a stop and the quiet chime that failed to disturb the dozing baby, sounded. Jennifer slowly pushed herself to her feet, rocking slightly as she walked to the door, waving her hand over the controls to allow the visitor in.

Rodney McKay stood in the hallway.

Jennifer raised an eyebrow as Rodney tried to pretend he wasn't looking at the baby. 'He's, uh, he's home-, I mean, he's out of the infirmary, is he?'

'Has been for a couple of days now, Rodney,' Jenny replied, turning around and slowly making her way back to her chair. 'If you wanted to see him, you could have come to the infirmary before now, y'know. I mean, without Colonel Sheppard escorting you,' she added, archly.

'But it was, er, in the middle of the infirmary.'

'I know Rodney, it's where I work,' Jenny replied humourously, gently laying Jonathan into his cradle.

'Yeah, but it's full of, uh, people... watching.'

And sudden;y she understood. McKay could be overly dramatic at times, but the face he showed was rarely what he truly felt underneath. He hadn't wanted to see JOnathan and react in a way he couldn't control, in a way that would expose him in such a public place. She smiled, walking forward and sliding her arms around his neck, 'you're such a softie, ya know that?'

'I am not,' he attempted to drag together some semblance of injured pride, but it dissipated when she kissed him and for a moment he forgot why he'd even come here. She drew back, still smiling, 'want to see him?'

There was a moment's hesitation then she felt his shoulders relax, 'yeah,' he replied, almost shyly.

Jennifer turned, leading him back to the sofa under the window where a cradle stood, 'Ronan brought this back from the mainland, he actually managed to look embarrassed of thinking of it, if you can believe that.'

'Knowing Ronan, yeah, I can believe it. I wonder why our other selves called him Jonathan.'

'Elizabeth told me they named him after their Colonel Jon Sheppard. He died warning them the Wraith were on their way, thanks to him they saved hundreds of lives in the city.'

'Hero of the hour,' he returned, trying hard not to sound sarcastic.

She grinned, lifting the small blanket wrapped bundle out of his cradle. He jerked his arms a couple of times and screwed up his face, but a little quiet shushing and he settled right down again. Turning, Jenny shifted him into Rodney's arms, guding his hands into place gently to support the tiny body. She watched as the sometimes dour physicist beamed down at the baby and rocked him gently, glancing out the window and going off into a hushed babble about the amazing science and technology they had discovered in Atlantis.

Not that Jonathan heard a word, his eyes were already closed and he was sleeping once more.

'Should he sleep this much?' Rodney asked. 'He's okay, isn't he?' Jenny nodded and Rodney smiled, sinking onto the sofa. 'That's good,' he began before the smile rapidly disappeared, 'not so good. He'll have to go back to Earth, won't he?'

'Yeah,' Jennifer slid onto the sofa next to him, leaning over to stroke Jonathan's cheek, 'I've been thinking about that.'

'What are we going to do?'

'You're the brains of this outfit genius, you think of something,' she replied, smiling down a the infant, 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.'

'But-'

'No buts. Now hush, enjoy the moment, is that so hard?'

The smile made a reappearance as he watched her, 'no, no it's not. Mind if we enjoy more than just a moment?'

'We got all night,' she grinned, and leaned on his shoulder, watching the baby sleep.

'I love you, Jen,' the words came out of nowhere.

'I know,' she replied.

Bringing Rodney to terms with his son was only the first half of the battle Keller realised as she opened her email the next morning, her gaze falling on the missive from Colonel Carter. She clicked it and read the leave schedule.

McKay, Sheppard, Weir, Keller; all tagged in the first wave. Conflicted, she bit her lip, looking down at basket in her office where Jonathan lay, blinking around at the shapes and colours in her small office. Nurse Rogers was off-duty soon and had offered to take him and Teyla's son for a few hours until Weir took over. It was an imperfect schedule, but they managed.

The thing troubling her now was, should she take him to Earth with them? If so, what were the risks involved, could they keep him on Earth? Remove him from her and Rodney's custody? Tamping down the momentary panci, she turned back to the computer, opening a new message and directing it to the individuals concerned. She couldn't leave here with a head full of doubts, she needed something concrete before she proceeded.

Elizabeth arrived back in her quarters later that day to find Rodney McKay already there, showing an unconscious Jonathan the landscape of the ocean city whilst baby Torren played on the floor. He turned, catching her look of surprise.

'Oh, yeah, uh. Sheppard over-rode your door code for me. Rogers developed a migraine about half hour ago, I took over for a while.'

'Okay,' Elizabeth nodded. 'Can you wait for another ten minutes? I'd like to take a shower before I take kid-duty.'

He nodded and she collected fresh clothes, disappearing into the bathroom. It was odd, he reflected, awkwardly so at times, how comfortable Elizabeth was around him, and Jennifer. He had counted Elizabeth- Lizzie, Lizzie, he reminded himself- as a friend, a close friend, but this Elizabeth treated him almost like a brother.

Or at least, what he remembered he and his sister were like before he stopped talking to her. He looked down at the baby in his arms. Even though the two of them had reconciled their differences for the greater part, she was still going to have a field day with this one! Taking Jennifer with him could only make things worse. Rodney just wasn't looking forward to going Earthside.

Elizabeth came out five minutes later, damp curls dripping water onto her neck, wearing one of Teyla's maternity outfits. She grinned at him, rubbing her hair with a towel. 'Soon as we get back to Earth, I think I might go shopping. I like what Teyla wears I just don't think...' she gestured down at herself.

'Yeah. Not very... you, is it?' Mentally he rolled his eyes, this wasn't a conversation he was having! 'Um, checked your email today?'

'Not yet. Why?'

'Few important notices. Jennifer wants to schedule a meeting with Carter, talk over the, uh, situation. You know, just case the IOA and the AF decide to have a little chat when we're Earthside.'

'Good idea. When is it?'

'This evening. Here, if you'll allow it. You've got the quarters set aside for guests so its slightly larger. Sam thinks things might be a bit more relaxed if we meet informally.'

Elizabeth nodded, 'sure. Could you contact the mess hall? Get them to send down some food, if she's trying to keep everyone relaxed, we may as well make it that way. I'd do it, but I'm not sure I have the authority.'

There was a note of dismay in her voice over that, and for a moment, McKay forgot his awkwardness and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently, 'you will.' Then reality kicked in, and he let go, stepping back awkwardly, 'I, uh, better be getting back to work. I'll just, uh...' he indicated the bed and walked over, laying Jonathan down carefully. When he stepped away, Elizabeth hurried over, barricading the baby from the edges with a pillows.

'He's not going anywhere,' Rodney objected.

'Trust me, they roll quicker than you think.'

'Yeah. I guess,' it simply reminded him how much he didn't know, and Rodney didn't like that, floundering in unknown waters. He'd need his sister even more at this point. The trip home was looking worse by the minute.

'I'll see you later then,' deep in his own thoughts, he wandered out, the door whispering closed behind him.

With Jonathan asleep and Torren on the verge, on his blanket on the floor, Elizabeth sat down at her desk and started in on a translation that had been waiting for a few days. She'd have to finish soon, so Keller couldn't catch her working beyond her hours.

She miscalculated, and Jennifer turned up at the door in the middle of a translation, an early arrival for their meeting.


	23. Chapter 23

Elizabeth stood in the 'Gateroom, a flight bag by her feet. Around her a couple of dozen men and women had gathered, each with their own burdens, including Jennifer Keller and Rodney McKay. Behind her she heard steps and turned to see Sheppard jogging down the stairs with Colonel Carter.

'Lorne has the inventory; Abernathy's continuing the sweeps and Elizabeth'll have enough work piled up her desk to keep her busy for a year when we get back. And Zelenka's request to join their team for the duration is on your desk. McKay's already approved it-'

'John, enjoy your vacation,' was all Carter said, avoiding the temptation to ask Elizabeth to drag him out of her sight before she killed him. She understood, but he was starting to grate on her nerves. He had already told her all this at least once.

'Yeah' he had the grace to look slightly uncomfortable about his own ramblings.

Elizabeth was far less ruffled. She'd left Abernathy's team with the assurance that they could disturb her at will, and informed Colonel Carter than if she needed to be recalled sooner, she happy to return and finish her 'leave' later. _Leave_ in her case was a contrived term to give everyone the impression she was already part of the Expedition and expected to return. It was one more small defence against the high probability of her being detained Earthside.

The lights around the 'Gate glowed, locking in the co-ordinates to Earth. Keller stepped up next to her, Jonathan sleeping a sling made from a length of cloth that wrapped around mother and baby. Elizabeth glanced over.

'Does it work?' she asked in a low voice.

'Brilliantly. I could walk around all day with him like this, probably work like it too. Teyla's a useful sort to have around,' she added with a grin.

Elizabeth nodded and looked back up at the 'Gate. 'Ready to go confess your sins?' she asked.

'Now that, I'll never be ready for. But I'm still going'. You?'

'Depends on how long the powers-that-be want to detain me. They could spend two solid weeks simply questioning me as a 'guest' of the SGC.'

'They wouldn't,' she paused, realising that they would if they could, 'good luck, Elizabeth.'

'Yeah,' she replied drily. She was going to need it.

The wormhole established, the sound of a waterchute filed the 'Gateroom and as soon as the IDC was sent , the travellers were cleared. As personnel started filing through the event horizon. Carter stepped up to the small group that faced the coming inquistion, holding out her hand to Weir.

'Good luck Dr Weir, I've sent my report on ahead, and General Landry will be waiting for you on the other side. The IOA will probably insist on a three day meeting, but I've done all I can do from this end.'

Elizabeth took the hand, shaking it gratefully. 'Thank you, Colonel, you've been incredibly welcoming, more so than I had a right to expect and gone to, I'm sure, a great deal of trouble. If the IOA choose to detain me on Earth, I can't imagine better hands to carry the flag of Atlantis on from Dr Weir than you. If she were here, I'm sure she'd say the same.'

Sam nodded, oddly grateful for that endorsement, and stepped back, letting them go. When the wormhole disengaged moments later. With a silent prayer that things would proceed smoothly, she turned back to the control room. She had work to do.

Elizabeth stepped onto the metal gantry at Stargate command, a place she'd only ever seen before as a museum piece, a tribute to the early days and the sacrifice of the soldiers of the 'Gate Programme. For a moment she couldn't breathe, feeling as if she had stepped into a piece of living history, and then General Landry, she assumed from the stars on his shoulders, stepped forward, and the moment passed.

'Dr Weir.'

The face was so familiar, but the look behind her eyes was foreign, as she stared around the 'Gateroom like she'd never seen it before. And maybe this Elizabeth Weir never had. She wore clothes that reminded him of some of their allies, similar to the Jaffa-women and he wondered all over again what her reality had been like.

'General Landry?' she held out her hand with the same confidence he remembered, 'it's a pleasure to meet you. Colonel Carter has nothing but the highest praise for you.'

'I won't tell her you said that,' he smiled, taking her hand for a moment, 'we'll get you settled in your quarters and then I'd like to see you, Dr Keller, Dr McKay and Colonel Sheppard for a debriefing.'

'Of course,' she's expected this, Landry would want to see for himself what type of person she was, if she was worth backing as Lizzie Weir had been.

'Good. Debrief in ten minutes. Sheppard,' he nodded to the Colonel.

'Sir.'

And then they were led away. Her guest quarters were sparse, but large. On of the airmen walked in behind her, lifting her bag onto a plain dresser. Sheppard had passed it to him when he'd turned off in the direction of his own, more cramped quarters on base. 'Will you require anything else, Dr Weir?'

She turned and smiled, 'no, and thank you,' she replied, indicating the bag.

'No trouble ma'am. Would you like to be shown up to the briefing room now?'

'Yes. Thank you,' she walked over, unzipped the flight bag and pulled a thin file from a side pocket. 'Lead the way.'

Sheppard and Landry were already there, coffee steaming in mugs in front of them. Landry rose as she walked in, 'Dr Weir.'

'General, please call me Elizabeth. I've read some of Dr Weir's personal logs. She considered you a friend. I know we don't know each other, but perhaps we could dispense with the formal footing.'

Landry smiled, indicating a seat, 'very well, Elizabeth.' He looked around, noting the coffee which sat alone on the table. 'Would you like some water?'

'No, thank you-' she was interrupted by the arrival of Keller and McKay, Jonathan still sleeping in his sling.

'Sorry we're late, General Landry, I tried to leave him sleeping in my quarters, but he wouldn't settle.'

'Don't worry, Dr Keller, this is an informal meeting, I won't detain you long. I simply wanted to here what was going on in your own words, reports are all very well, but they don't always let you see the human perspective.'

_I was right_, Elizabeth thought to herself, _he wants to hear it firsthand and make up his own mind which horse he's backing_.

As succinctly as she could, without omitting or glossing over anything, Weir gave the General a rundown of her reality, her version of the Stargate program, and her own situation, she'd started on the attack of Atlantis, when Landry held up a hand.

'Colonel Carter has filled me in. It must be very painful subject for you, and I understand you've already submitted a full strategic report on everything you know about the Pegasus galaxy, the Wraith and the Asurans.'

'I have, yes, but its incomplete, Colonel Carter is separating everything into a three-fold military, cultural and scientific report, but its taking time, we keep finding gaps. Sometimes I can fill those in, sometimes I can't. As you can imagine, it's taking a while to tell what is effectively my life story and to write down every scrap of knowledge I gathered ever since I joined the Program.'

'I can believe that. Colonel Carter has also submitted her request that you be assigned to Atlantis as long as the Expedition runs. How about you? Are you still sure that's where you want to be?'

'Atlantis is my home, General,' despite her comment about informality earlier, the respect she showed his rank would speak volumes. 'I can't imagine living or working anywhere else.'

'But its a very different Atlantis from the one you left.'

'In some ways yes, but I find more similarities than I do differences. The city itself is almost identical, many of the same names are there, even though they're like the ones I left behind, I see them as individuals in their own right, I've had to, simply to get to know any of them. Preconceptions won't work, they're not the same people. The language is practically identical, a number of the same cultures exist in the Pegasus galaxy, and I've found myself with more work than I can comfortably handle on my hands, all it vital if Atlantis is to be thoroughly explored.'

'I also hear you introduced us to a new ally, the Ha'taal?'

She shook her head, 'I mediated, the Expedition had already made contact.'

'But you willingly put yourself in harm's way to save two of our soldiers.'

'I went in forewarned and fore-armed, I knew what I was facing. Even if I hadn't, I was still the best qualified person on base to handle a first-contact gone wrong. I wouldn't hesitate to do the same, although given my current condition, I might not be accepted with the same grace by all societies we might encounter. Nonetheless, until I give birth, I can still train and advise.'

'So, you think the Airforce should allow you to raise your child on Atlantis whilst working for them,' he replied, playing devil's advocate.

'They're allowing Teyla to do the same. She's a member of a frontline team. With two more children on Atlantis, more formal arrangements and guidelines are an obvious next step, but Atlantis is no more dangerous than most planets I've encountered in two galaxies, General. In fact, since the Earth-born made their way out into the stars and established full colonies, things have become a great deal safer in my reality.'

'And you think we can accomplish that here?'

'I'm certain of it. Where I come from General, we've traded war and poverty on Earth for exploration out there,' she lifted a hand, pointing to the Stargate, visible through the window of the briefing room. 'I'm not saying it doesn't have its own dangers, but would you authorise a sterilisation program across a warzone on Earth just in case children happen to be born there?'

He ignored the question, realising she was practising her words, pleading a case she didn't need now, but would, and soon enough. 'How about your own reality?' he replied instead, switching tactics, 'you've made it out to be a positive utopia, why don't you wish to return?'

'Because I can't. The theory states that for every decision, a counter-decision is made, splitting realities like threads, all co-existing. Even if I found a universe I recognised, it's possible that it's one of three or four _thousand_ that _look_ like my universe, but aren't. If I had the same point to return to, I'd stand a much better chance of finding it. It was a hope I harboured when I first woke up in the infirmary on Atlantis, in this reality, but Colonel Carter was the one to point out to me just how futile a hope that was.'

'How do you know you can't return to the same location?' Landry asked.

'I heard the whine as the power-overload began before I jumped through realities. There was no way McKay shut it down in time, my Atlantis is gone.'

'I agree with Dr Weir,' Rodney leant forward, 'I've run several simulations based on the parameters she gave me, and what we extrapolated from her story. It's virtually impossible that her Atlantis is still standing.'

'And what has she done to convince you she's telling the truth.'

McKay looked incredulous, 'well, her whole story bears out, there's nothing that's been amiss, not to mention she saved those soldier's lives, and my son's life. Her knowledge has uncovered areas of Atlantis we're going to be studying for years and her almost instinctive grasp of the technology and the language of the Ancients has been invaluable. I spent ten hours working on a translation because a particular word had never come up before. Elizabeth glanced at it and knew exactly what it meant!'

'And you're sure Jonathan here is your son?'

McKay almost spluttered, but Jennifer placed a hand on his shoulder, clear eyes looking directly at the General. 'Yes General, DNA tests confirm it and he is not a clone, nor a human-form replica,' she replied, her voice calm.

Landry nodded, fingers interlaced on the desk in front of him. 'Elizabeth, from what Colonel Carter has told me, and from your own testimony here today, I agree with her assessment. You're an asset to the Atlantis program, and we cannot, in all good conscience simply pull yourself, Dr Keller and Teyla Emmagen from the project simply for exercising a basic human right. The IOA and the military may not like the idea of Atlantis or the Alpha site as a full colony, but it is an idea that keeps coming back around, getting more insistent every time.' He paused, rising to his feet to look out at the Stargate below.

'The IOA will want to interview you, and there's a formal meeting tomorrow, right here in the briefing room with some of the powers-that-be. I would like all of you attend, although I suggest you find someone to babysit whilst you're in the meeting Dr Keller. The IOA will only use Jonathan as ammunition if he's present.'

'I understand, General.'

'Alright folks, dismissed. Colonel Sheppard, a word in my office,' and he stood, heading in that direction with Sheppard on his heels.

'So,' McKay rubbed his hand together after they had gone, 'lunch?'


	24. Chapter 24

There was a soft tap at the door and Elizabeth rolled off the bed, where she'd been trying to sleep, and opened it. Keller stood there, Jonathan in her arms, biting her lip with a tremulous smile. With an answering smile of her own, Elizabeth swung the door wide and let her in.

'I'm sorry,' she said the moment the door closed, 'you really need to rest, but I just can't seem to settle. I feel like my whole life's on the verge of being taken away.'

'There's no guarantee what the IOA are going to do, or try to do, tomorrow, Jennifer. From what I've read in Lizzie's logs, the IOA couldn't find a decision with both hands and a searchlight!'

Jennifer snorted with laughter, and Elizabeth grinned, taking a seat on the bed next to her, leaning over for a better look at Jonathan. Jennifer lifted the strap from her shoulder, slipping the sling over her head and disentangling the baby from the cloth.

'Here you go,' she gently placed the little boy into Elizabeth's arms. He was a good deal heavier than he had been when she had escaped Atlantis with him, and his wide eyes looked around curiously, his mouth opening in a toothless grin.

'I wonder if he'll get the chance to grow up on Atlantis,' she wondered aloud.

Jennifer sighed, pushing her hair away from her face with both hands. 'We can hope. How are you? Nervous?'

'A little,' Elizabeth admitted, turning and placing Jonathan in the centre of the bed, 'and I couldn't sleep last night, so I guess I'm a little wired. Where's Rodney?'

'I think he went to bug Dr Lee in his laboratory. Has Colonel Sheppard come back yet?'

Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply, but the door swung open with a gruff, 'he is now,' and Jon stepped into the room. He didn't look in the best of moods, and later that evening, sitting in Elizabeth's quarters, after Jennifer had left, he told her why.

'Carter's been sending more than official reports to Landry. He doesn't want me here tomorrow, so I'm heading off. Tonight.'

'What? _Why_?' Elizabeth asked, alarmed.

'The IOA, he feels my being here may jeopardise what you're trying to achieve. He could be right. They're not going to be easy on you 'Liz'beth; if I didn't know Landry better, I wouldn't have held my peace today. I think he knows that.'

With a wry smile, she sank down on the edge of the bed next to him, curling one leg under her and idly ran a hand down his back. 'When are you going?'

'In a few minutes, Landry organised a ride to the airport, I'm heading back to my brother's house. What about you?'

'My mother's, as soon as the IOA are done with me. I'll call you from there?'

He nodded, reaching out a hand to brush back a lock of hair, fingers sliding behind her head to draw her closer. He kissed her, a soft brush across her lips before he let her go. It felt almost wrong here. The SGC was a military base, Atlantis was home. But he hadn't wanted to leave without seeing her. 'I'll see you soon,' he said.

'Yeah,' she watched him stand, throwing the flight bag over his shoulder. He lifted a hand at the door, the gesture so old and familiar now, she felt some of the tension leave her. Curling up on the bed, she tried not to wish he could have stayed and focussed instead on what she was fighting the IOA for tomorrow.

'Are you suggesting we eject one of the best allies we have in the Pegasus galaxy because she chose to have children?' Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as she responded to an inane point raised by one of the committee in front of her.

'No. Merely that a military base is no place for children.'

'So, no military has never made living arrangements for the families of their soldiers, moving them closer to where they're stationed? And as a country, the US has never had military families living on foreign soil?'

They'd been at it for three hours now. Anyone else would have asked the pregnant, still convalescing woman if she needed a break, but the IOA weren't concerned with anything but covering their own backs. Hence the grilling.

'Well, no, but this is vastly different Dr Weir, surely you must see that?' It was an old ploy. The IOA representative currently facing her was making the unspoken suggestion that if she didn't, she was stupid. Elizabeth was confident enough in her own skin to call his bluff.

'My apologies, Mr Paxman, but I'm afraid I don't. Please elaborate.'

He arranged a smile, reaching for his glass to take a drink of water. Stalling. He had no idea what to say, he was simply uncomfortable with the idea, and had no idea how to back that up in real terms.

_Dear God, Lizzie! How did you deal with these people! _Elizabeth was tempted to point out that where she came from, this attitude was considered archaic; but that would only serve to remind them that she was the supplicant here. She had a position of power currently, and she intended to keep it.

'Atlantis is a military base, Dr Weir, and has been under attack several times. It's no place for children.'

'Nor is any war-torn area, but since the entire Earth has already come under threat by the Go'auld, and it cannot be guaranteed that it will never happen again, but is that reason enough to give up? Stop at the current generation?'

'Of course not. But are you suggesting that people should simply populate the entire city with children? Won't that compromise operations within the city itself?'

'If children outnumbered adults, if no guidelines were put in place and if the people you place on Atlantis were the type to suddenly have twenty children apiece, yes, it may well indeed impact the operational efficiency of the city,' she let humour bleed into her voice instead of the sarcasm she so desperately wanted to let out. 'But the people on the Expedition are a mixture of military and professional civilians, statistically, only two-thirds of them are likely to have children at all, let alone choose to bring them into the world so far from home. What is decided here today ill set the precedent of how families are accommodated and regulated on offworld bases, covering both foreign and domestic members.'

It was a case of careful wording, laying out the issue as one of regulations, not of allowing or disallowing anything. By adding the opportunity to set a precedent, she was appealing to every ego in the room.

'Families such as your own, Dr Weir?' Miss Onar, with sleek black hair and matching suit had been quiet throughout, 'you must admit, you have a vested interest here.'

'Yes,' Elizabeth replied unhesitatingly, she'd been expecting that question for nearly two hours after the pleasantries were over. 'But whether I remain on Atlantis, or am stationed elsewhere, the Stargate programme is welcome to my expertise.'

'You're not the only diplomat on Earth, Dr Weir, although we do not deny the value of your experience.'

'I wasn't talking about my diplomacy skills, or my formal qualifications,' she replied, noticing the ears prick up. They'd seen the reports, read her personal files and they'd still skipped the point. It was time to remind them who she _really_ was. 'I was talking about the life skills I gained before coming to this universe. I am not _your_ Dr Weir, and I have extensive experience of cultures she never encountered.'

_Sorry, Lizzie, I'm about to try and outshine you. I can see now why Landry kicked Jon out of here._

'I'm also proficient at Ancient, as well as numerous other languages, including Wraith and have considerable knowledge of Ancient, Go'auld, Wraith, Asuran and Asguard technology. I didn't _study_ this, ladies and gentlemen, I grew up with it. I'm as familiar with the culture of the Pegasus galaxy as you are with your own.'

She sat forward, folding her fingers together and lowering her voice, all designed to make them think she was taking them into her confidence, as if she wanted the information to go no further. 'Daniel Jackson may have _been_ your foremost expert on the Ancients, but I think you'll find he only runs a close second. He may even know more mythology than I do, but when _I_ encountered the Aurora, most of her crew were old, not dead. I worked alongside them for nearly three years, learning the technology, the culture and the language directly from the natives of Atlantis themselves before the last of them succumbed to the ravages of age.'

_Beat that_, she thought viciously, angered that she had to drag out precious memories and use them like ammunition because a board of civilians who had never risked a damned thing wanted to control the whys and wherefores of life out amongst the stars. She wanted to drag them out there, show them what it was really like and then dare them to sit here and damn the people who made it their life's work to make those very stars a safer place for all life, not just their own kind!

'I think we've all had enough for today. Thank you Dr Weir,' it was Paxman again, the head of the little IOA council that had been sent in. McKay and Keller were still up for questioning and if the IOA could have compelled Teyla to come, they would have.

Elizabeth wondered what effect she had had, sitting there in Athosian style clothes. If the IOA had thought they were dealing with the same Dr Weir they had known, they were disabused of the notion the moment she stepped into the room. It could either stand her in very good stead, or destroy all chance of winning them over. Not that her attitude in there had helped. She had tried her best, but she hadn't studied diplomatic relations to the same high level as the previous Dr Weir, she had other skills that had needed utilising.

She entered her own quarters on base and, with a sigh, she flopped back onto the bed, staring around at the little grey room; it's bleak angles and metal door had the feeling of a jail cell and, in the wake of this morning's meeting, Elizabeth was beginning to wonder if she would ever see the lights of Atlantis again.


	25. Chapter 25

Despite the bustle of the base, Elizabeth succumbed to sleep, scattering the papers she was trying to work through and curling up int he centre of the bed. At an insistent knocking on the door, she finally stirred sometime in the evening, pushing herself up and rubbing her eyes. The door slid open a little way and Colonel Landry's head appeared. 'Elizabeth?'

Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and trying to smooth her rumpled clothes, she waved him in. 'I'm sorry, I guess I must have fallen asleep. This morning was a little gruelling.'

'That bad, huh?' He shut the door, coming over to stand opposite her, hands tucked in his pockets.

Elizabeth raised a tired smile, 'I think battling the Wraith and getting caught in an explosion were possibly worse, but I couldn't swear to it.' He laughed, a low chuckle, almost under his breath as she blinked away the last vestiges of sleep. 'What can I do for you, Hank?'

'Actually I just wondered how you were holding up. You look like hell, Elizabeth.'

'Yeah, I know,' and she pulled her feet up, sitting cross-legged on the bed, her relaxed and easy attitude a contrast to the Elizabeth Weir he had known. It was strange, interacting with her, watching her move from almost identical to the opposite of their own Elizabeth.

'Well, they've just released McKay. I think he may have single-handedly scuppered any progress you and Dr Keller made today.'

Elizabeth winced, 'that bad?'

'For once, everyone let him pass without comment. I think they may have questioned the integrity of Expedition personnel. I know Dr McKay has an incredible amount of loyalty to the people he works with. Now.'

She sighed, pushing her hair out of her eyes and rising, 'I should go see him.'

Landry waved a hand at her, 'leave him. The mess hall are serving chilli, come and have dinner with me instead. I'd like to get to know Elizabeth Weir Mark II,' he added, his eyebrows almost disappearing off his forehead as he smiled up at her.

'Now, how can I say no to that?'

'You can't, especially since I'm the General,' he replied, rising and heading for the door. 'I'll wait for you outside,' he added, with a nod for her rumpled clothing and dishevelled appearance. Elizabeth glanced down at herself and smiled ruefully, silently agreeing with his unspoken assessment.

It was fortunate that the General had come by, Elizabeth reflected the next morning as she tried to heal the damage Rodney's outburst had done the previous day. She didn't exactly apologise for his convictions, more his attitude, but it sounded similar and she left the IOA representatives content with that.

And so it was back to another question and answer session, with much of the same ground covered yesterday as today. In truth, the IOA didn't really have any questions, but big or unusual issues caught their attention, probably because they'd never lived anywhere but Earthside, so the actual importance of an issue, little or small passed them by. It wasn't really their fault so much as a lack of experience. Elizabeth wondered if she should point that out to them, but discarded the idea. Another time she told herself, baby steps right now, baby steps. Appropriately enough.

When another exhausting day drew to a close, she found herself in the mess hall, eating alone. Jennifer and Rodney had been released some hours earlier and Landry had almost kicked McKay off the base. Keller hadn't been keen on leaving Elizabeth to fight a rearguard action alone, but Weir had told her to go.

'Get Rodney away from here,' she had told her, 'before he creates an international incident. Not that I don't appreciate his passion, but the IOA are looking at me for someone to blame.'

'Why you?'

'Lizzie was leader of Atlantis, I think they still see me that way, oddly enough,' she remarked, looking down at herself.

Jennifer had only smiled, and she'd seen them up to the surface, taking in a little fresh air before the guard assigned to her had escorted her back downstairs. Now she sat alone in the mess hall, wishing she could simply walk out of here herself.

Strangely, it was Miss Onar who broke her solitude. Elizabeth looked up at the sight of a black-clad figure and found a pair of dark , almond shaped eyes staring back down at her. 'May I?' the other woman asked.

'Of course,' her innate sense of politeness wouldn't have allowed her to say no, although the last thing she wanted to do was have another conversation with these people on her own time.

'Thank you.' Miss Onar slid her tray onto the table, pulling out a chair and taking a seat opposite her. 'You're looking tired, Dr Weir and for that I do apologise. But we have to be rigorous. If it helps, we're hoping to close by lunch tomorrow. The focus thing time will be on you personally, instead of the issues surrounding the colonial status of Atlantis.'

Elizabeth nodded, 'I more or less expected that.'

'I'm sure you did. Although you've gone out of your way to prove you're not the former Dr Weir, ' she replied, nodding towards Elizabeth's clothes, 'it's still very difficult to accept, even when something's right in front of you.'

'You think this is deliberate?' Elizabeth asked, tugging at the neckline of the embroidered Athosian shirt. 'I'm sorry to disappoint you, Miss Onar, whilst this gives a strong, unspoken statement, I'm afraid it's completely unintentional. I borrowed these clothes, I more or less had the shirt on my back when I arrived, and no one else on Atlantis had maternity clothes apart from our Athosian liaison, Teyla Emmagen.'

'Really?' she looked surprised.

Elizabeth was confused, 'I'm sorry, but did you not read the reports you were sent? I came through the Quantum Mirror with emergency supplies, a premature baby and myself, dressed only in what I stood up in, and nearly all of that torn or covered in blood.'

'Excuse me?'

'I had to fight off a Wraith before I reached the Mirror. I got lucky, even though I was carrying Jonathan at the time.'

'Jonathan?'

'Baby McKay. He was named after John Sheppard, the Colonel died saving most of the personnel on Atlantis,' she steeled her heart for that one, the sentence itself still stung and speaking of it tore the wound open a little wider.

Her story was starkly real when spoken in her own words over a plastic mess hall table and two bowls of pasta and salad. Amina sat back, her dinner forgotten for the moment. 'When did you come back to Earth?'

'The day before the first scheduled meeting, why?'

'So you haven't been off base?'

'Or near a shopping mall,' Elizabeth added with a wry smile, 'hence the statement I didn't intend to make. Ever since I woke up in the infirmary on Atlantis in this reality, I've been working and translating. Unfortunately, I landed myself _back_ in the infirmary.'

'Yes. I read the report. I understand some people died.'

Elizabeth nodded, 'including a Lieutenant Baker. Without her, I wouldn't even be here. I've already requested permission to meet her family and thank them on her behalf. It's not much, but seeing the faces of the people we sent to safety on Alpha, the Stargate base in my former reality... It helps, when you lose people, to realise that their sacrifice wasn't in vain.'

_Sarah Baker_. She hadn't spoken to Jon yet, but if Keller was right, and they had a daughter on the way, Elizabeth already had a name all picked out.

'And you still remain convinced Atlantis could attain full colonial status?'

'Yes. I've seen it happen, it's worked, and brilliantly. I realised the Stargate programme here is younger than the one I'm used to, but all I'm asking is the right to live and work, rather than simply work, on Atlantis. This Expedition was formed with the thought that they may never come back, or that it, at least, might be years before they returned. Did you expect people to put their lives on hold for that long?' she asked. 'Military personnel are stationed away from their families for months at a time on Earth, but out there, you're talking years, and you can't turn over the staff every year or so, the skills required, the skills that they learn whilst there, are highly specialised. Atlantis, along with the other offworld bases that are being established are very a different type of situation and should be considered in their own light, not as an extension of a previous style of operation.'

'You hold to your convictions, don't you, Dr Weir?' Amina regarded her with shrewd eyes and Elizabeth caught a glimpse of the highly intelligent mind hiding behind the IOA status. Miss Onar could have been one hell of a contender if she had had a more experienced hand.

'I do, yes, but then I would hope that most people would. And the name's Elizabeth.'

Miss Onar nodded, finally holding out her hand, 'Amina.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you, _outside_ the office,' Elizabeth replied with a smile and raised eyebrow.

'Likewise, Dr Weir,' she placed down her fork, contemplating her plate for a moment, 'well, I'd better be going. I think that's all.'

Weir nodded, watching her go before turning back to her plate. Minutes after Onar disappeared, Landry slid into the seat opposite her. 'How'd it go?'

'I think she understands my personal situation a little more, I gave her a dose of reality and followed it up with a different perspective. It was almost funny.'

'Why?'

'They sent a woman to talk to me, thinking she would find me more open. _Give the girl a confidant_ kind of thing,' she pulled an unattractive face, 'I'm nearly forty years old, Hank, it was slightly demeaning, and I think she knows that too. She's young though, with any luck, she learnt a lesson today. I know I did.

'And that was?'

'The IOA aren't going to stop us, but they aren't going to give us a glowing endorsement either. That way, if it blows up in our faces, they can wag their fingers and say _I told you so_. Lizzie was right, they can't make a decision; they have no idea how. But I think Miss Amina Onar might teach them, if she sticks around along enough.'

The General grinned, leaning back in his seat, 'I'll keep you apprised.'

Elizabeth nodded and stood, looking down at him, 'thank you, General, for everything.'

'Saying goodbye already? What about the meeting tomorrow?'

'There won't be a meeting, that was it. They wanted to find a weak spot, and I nearly gave it to them in the form of one Jon Sheppard. They're not getting another chance.' Elizabeth grimaced, well aware of her own current shortcomings.

'I'll arrange to have you taken to the airport. Where are you going?'

'To convince a woman I'm her long-lost daughter.'

'She'll known you've changed.'

'I was a prisoner for over a year, Hank. Wouldn't you?'


	26. Chapter 26

Nerves. It had to be nerves, Elizabeth decided. It couldn't be morning sickness, she had gone past that point already, but the butterflies in her stomach were trying to convince her otherwise.

She almost laughed. If she was this nervous meeting her own mother, how would she be meeting John's family? If he even wanted her too. She had no idea how things were going on his end, she hadn't called him, avoiding contact until after the first meeting with her own kin was over.

Her mother had died sometime before she was shipped out to Atlantis, and although she had been devastated, her grief had come and gone, running its own course and leaving only a melancholic memory behind.

Pressing the bell, she stood nervously fiddling with the handle of her flight bag, slung over one shoulder. It was heavier than when she'd left Atlantis, she had taken advantage of the SGC stores to find a pair a tracksuit that just about fitted before heading to the mall. Now she stood here in a pair of maternity jeans and black tunic, hoping she didn't look out of place.

She reminded herself to thank Landry. Again. He'd made sure she had a bank account, with allowance deposited, ready and waiting for her the moment she left the SGC. When he'd handed over her papers, she'd almost cried, oddly grateful to have an identity again. Elizabeth hadn't been in any doubt as to who she was, but it a relief to have the proof, as if some part of her were afraid of being questioned on that score.

Sounds from inside the house, a low barking and a voice, babbling at the dog before a door was shut firmly somewhere nearby. The front door swung open, and a petite woman, with grey hair but eyes as green as Elizabeth's own, stood there. She looked so familiar, that she felt the tears burn in her throat. She swallowed them down.

'Hi, mom.'

A wrinkled hand flew to the other woman's mouth as her eyes filled with tears. Although she had been forewarned of her daughter's discovery, to see her standing there shook the older woman to the core. For a moment she didn't move and then, suddenly, she let go of the door, rushing forward to wrap both arms around her.

'Elizabeth, oh my baby girl. They found you, thank God they found you.'

It only took a moment for her to realise the most obvious way in which Elizabeth had changed, and she stepped back, looking down before her eyes travelled back up to her daughter's face, a mother's fear implanting the worst possibility before she had time to properly think.

'It's okay, mom, I'll explain everything. Can I come in?'

Jessica Weir nodded, stepping back and ushering her into the house and through to the kitchen where Elizabeth could already smell the coffee brewing. Dropping her bag by the table, she sank gratefully into a chair and watched as her mother bustled around the kitchen, 'are you hungry? You must be. I was told you'd be flying in from Colorado. Would you like some lunch?'

'Mom?'

'I don't suppose you want coffee, I have some orange juice if you prefer-'

'Jessica!'

Mrs Weir turned, her face etched with worry and Elizabeth indicated the seat next to hers. 'I don't need anything,' she went on gently, 'but I think you do. Sit down, mom, this won't take long and I think you need to hear it. Trust me, it's not as bad as you think.'

It was a cover story, naturally and the bare bones of one at that. The few details she was allowed to give her mother included Colonel Sheppard, the baby's father, and her premature extraction from the second mission she'd been sent on due to the pregnancy. Which is why she was here, now.

'I don't have long, a couple of weeks, I'm being posted somewhere else, a research facility. No danger, Mom, but it's still no public knowledge. I can't tell you where I'm going.'

'But they can't expect you to keep working for them after all you've been through!'

'It's my job. More than that, it's my life. Trust me, I have never loved doing anything else more than I what I'm doing right now.'

'I still don't understand why they changed your status to KIA.'

Dammit, but Elizabeth didn't miss a beat, 'they had to, they received some intelligence that I was dead, and I was out of touch for a long time, mom. It wasn't safe to declare me missing again until I'd been extracted. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I really am.'

Her mother nodded, lifting a hand to brush away the tears she couldn't seem to stop, 'I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Ever since you were a little girl, you always wanted to change the world, Elizabeth. I just wish I'd foreseen the lengths you'd go too a little sooner.'

'I'm sorry,' her daughter replied instinctively, 'I'm sorry for everything you had to go through, if I could take it back I would. I would never willingly hurt you.'

Jessica Weir looked across the table, watching the earnest eyes of the woman in front of her. For the first time since she'd stepped into the house, it sounded as if Elizabeth really meant what she was saying. As a diplomat she could bluff, even outright lie and make it sound like the honest truth, but her mother had always been able to tell when she was keeping something from her.

This was the first time it hadn't sounded that way.

'I'm a selfish old woman,' she muttered with a wry smile, patting Elizabeth's hand, 'I know you can't tell me everything, but I can't imagine what you've been through.'

Elizabeth shook her head, closing her eyes, but for a moment, just a moment, Jessica caught sight of her grief and old pain, a brief flash and then it was gone and the same in-control Elizabeth Weir was back.

'So,' she turned the conversation to happier subjects, 'what about this John Sheppard. When do I get to meet him?' Elizabeth smiled, and for the rest of the afternoon, Jessica Weir felt as if her daughter had truly come back.

They spent a pleasant week together, Elizabeth acquainting herself with Lizzie's life, wishing she could tell the motherly old woman who had let her into her home, the whole truth. Although she would never get the chance, she found herself with an opportunity like it when the time came for her to depart.

They were sitting down to breakfast, Elizabeth's flight bag by the door and Sedgewick dozing under the table when her mother spoke. 'Tell me something, before you go, this thing you do. Is it worth it Elizabeth? Taking yourself into danger? Risking more than your life?'

'Yes,' and there it was, another moment of complete honesty, 'Mom, this thing I do, its not just worth dying for, it's worth living for, and its worth putting everything on the line for. I would do it a heartbeat, I have done it, and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.'

Jessica nodded, considering her coffee before replying, 'I understand.'

They didn't speak again until they were standing on the porch, the early morning sun slanting through the tall shrubs and young trees that graced the front yard. Sedgewick raced past their legs, cavorting on the grass outside.

'You will take care, wont you. No one could ever take your place, Elizabeth.'

Weir looked down at the petite woman, Jessica watching her every move like a hawk, searching for an answer she couldn't find in her daughter's face. Tears burned, prickling behind her eyes.

She knows.

'I know, mom,' she whispered. She raised her head, looking into a familiar pair of green eyes, 'I wouldn't want anyone else to replace you either. But-'

'But?'

'But if someone tried, I guess the best I could ask of them is that they do their best. I've had to take the place of the people I've worked with before, those who had fallen in the line of duty, and it has always been an honour to step into that breach and carry on in their name. I carry a lot of names with me, mom, but the one you gave me had always given me a great deal of pride. The daughter you raised would always want you to be happy, no matter what happened.'

Jessica couldn't speak, tears choking off her voice as she head, for the second time in her life, that her daughter was gone. She held up a hand, stepping inside the house for a moment before returning and pressing a leather-bound book into Elizabeth's hands.

'You didn't take this with you the first time you left, I think you should have it with you now.' Elizabeth looked down, recognising the worn brown cover, and knew what lay inside. Reaching out, she slipped an arm around her mother's shoulders, drawing her close.

'Bye mom, I love you.'

'Goodbye, Elizabeth. Come home soon.'

'I'll try. I promise.'


	27. Chapter 27

She'd left the rental car behind at the airport, they'd need it to get back the SGC before returning to Atlantis although, with the IOA still hovering, Elizabeth was holding a mental breath on that score until she stepped safely into the 'Gateroom in the Pegasus Galaxy.

She was exhausted when the stepped off the 'plane. She threaded her way through the crowds, looking only for an open space where she could breathe, instead of being dragged along by the crowd. She tried to pretend she wasn't looking for him, but she hadn't expected him to pick her up, and he hadn't said anything either.

So she ignored the ache of disappointment that seemed to determine to settle in, and looked for the exit instead. And that's when she saw him, already watching her, his dark hair messy, eyes intent and that familiar half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He saw her fighting her way through a flood of people. Briefly she stopped, flight bag over her shoulder, in a white blouse and jeans, running an absent hand over the soft swell of her stomach. Her hair was tousled, curls scattered around her shoulders and he caught his breath, realising all over again just how lovely she really was.

And then she saw him, changing direction, she tried to make her way over to him. He didn't wait, striding through the crowd to towards her. Elizabeth couldn't have stopped herself smiling anymore than she could have stopped the sun rising. With an answering grin of his own, he reached her. Sliding his hands along her jaw, he bent his head and kissed her like he hadn't seen her for a month.

Elizabeth found the flight bag slipping from her should and let it go, wrapping both arms around his waist, her hands sliding underneath the edge of jumper, cold hands making contact with the warm skin underneath. He flinched reflexively and he felt her grin.

'You ready to go?' he asked, breaking away to look down at her, seeing something he didn't like in her face. 'How'd it go?'

'Not too bad, I guess it could have been worse. She knows, John.'

'Knows? 'Lisabeth-' his voice held a warning note, 'what does she know?'

'That I'm not her. Nothing specific, but she liked to talk about the past, and I just didn't remember it the same way, I couldn't even fake it.'

'You've been away for over a year, a lot has happened in that time, maybe she just thinks you're different,' there was a lot of trouble waiting to fall on them from a great height if Elizabeth's mother suspected anything.

'She won't say anything John, she knows I'm not the same person, that's all. But she wants to meet you, and she asked me to come back whenever I could. She won't do anything to put us at risk.'

He nodded, running a hand through already tousled hair, 'you're sure?'

'Positive. Do you trust me?'

It was a question he'd answered a long time ago. 'Yes,' and he dropped it, as simple as that, 'c'mon, they're waiting for us.' He slung an arm around her shoulders, heading for the exit.

'Who are they exactly? I know you have a brother, is he still married to Karen?'

'Yeah, two kids-'

'Joshua and Emily. I know.'

'How?'

'Personnel files John, the military watches your family and you, remember? They like to know who they're relying on.'

'Yeah. How're feeling?'

'Shattered.' He could tell, she was leaning into him like he was the only thing holding her up.

'Didn't you sleep on the plane?'

She shook her head, 'never have been able to. I worked on catching up. I didn't just get a job and identification papers, I also got a pack of information to work my way through.'

He nodded, he didn't bother asking about the IOA, they had spoken on a secure line a couple of days after she had been released from the SGC and she'd filled him in. He was already wondering what their reception would be when they arrived back at the base. For now though, he shrugged it off, Sheppard didn't like borrowing trouble.

His brother's car sat in outside, and he slung her bag in the back before climbing in behind the wheel. The traffic was heavy, and it took some time before they were on the open road. They stopped for lunch after an hour, and it took another hour and a half before they pulled up outside a large house with neatly kept gardens and manicured flower beds.

Elizabeth was hoping the Sheppards were more welcoming than the precision cut of their house and grounds when she heard a shout from the house. Two children, roughly six and eight, a girl and boy respectively, came running down the steps.

'Uncle John! He's back! Mom! He's back!'

They only stopped when they crashed into him, and John wrapped an arm round each, lifting them clear off their feet before setting them down, ruffling the boy's hair that looked as wild as his own. 'Joshua, Emily, say hi to Elizabeth.'

A wave from the girl, but Joshua saluted, drawing a smile from the tall brunette his uncle had brought home. 'It's nice to meet you, Dr Weir.'

'Elizabeth,' John prompted, whilst Emily stayed silent.

'Dad says its polite to call a person by their sal, sal, um...'

'Salutation?' Elizabeth provided helpfully.

'Thanks! Yeah, sal-you-tay-shun. And you told us she was a doctor, not a medical doctor but a-'

'PhD?' Elizabeth again.

'Right!' The boy snapped his fingers, 'see, Elizabeth agrees,' he added, forgetting to use the salutation and her surname in one breath.

John lifted Emily onto one arm, reaching into the car to fetch the bag, 'fair enough, you win, now get in the house and tell your mother we've arrived.'

'She knows!' But he ran off nonetheless ad they followed at slower pace until Elizabeth found herself stepping into a large, comfortable hallway. A woman with light brown hair, and a ready smile met them and just meeting her made Elizabeth feel far more travel-rumpled than she really was. Karen Sheppard wore pencil skirts and neat blouses that showed off her tiny figure.

Despite the pressed formality of her outward appearance, Karen's welcome was warm and open, and put Elizabeth at her ease. It stood in contrast to her husband's welcome a few hours later when he returned home from work. He was a quiet man, whose reconciliation with his ever-absent brother wasn't so distant in memory that he was as open as his wife.

'Dr Weir,' he held out a hand and she took it, 'may I call you Elizabeth?'

'Of course. Is it okay if I call you Richard?' she felt odd asking, but it seemed the right way to go, and he nodded, letting go of her hand. 'I see you've met the children,' he added, looking down at the monopoly board spread out on the table between the three of them.

'Yeah, they're a lot of fun, and financially brilliant. I think they've got me on the run, I'll have to declare bankruptcy soon,' she added. Emily giggled, spilling a handful of plastic houses she was playing with. Richard smiled and left them to it, disappearing into the kitchen where his wife had already started dinner and John sat on a stool at the breakfast bar, chatting quietly.

'...so this wasn't planned then-,' she broke off when she saw her husband and John turned, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

'Hey, how'd it go?'

'Fine. I just met Elizabeth. She seems like a nice woman.'

'Yeah, she is.'

'Jesus, John! Why didn't you tell us she was pregnant?' Richard crossed his arms across his chest, leaning back against the counter, he wouldn't have wanted to hear it, but at that moment, he looked like his younger brother. 'Have you told Nancy yet?'

'What's to tell Rich? We've been divorced for years, I don't need to keep her appraised of my life, no matter how much dad liked her.'

'Anyway,' Karen cut across the pair of the, 'you work with Elizabeth.'

'Yeah, she's a diplomat and a linguist. She also does some translating and research for us.'

'Us?' It was Richard again.

'It's a joint project between civilian agencies and the Airforce. You already know I can't tell you anything else.'

'So, you're both going back to... wherever you go... when you leave here?' Richard pulled two bottles of beer from the fridge, snapping off the caps before handing one to John. 'You asked her to marry you yet?'

'Richard!' It was his wife.

'What? I think he should the right thing.'

'Keep your voice down Rich; Elizabeth's had a lot to deal with lately and I'd rather you didn't bring all this up. I wanted you guys to get to know her, and vice versa, that's all. Don't upset her,' there was an edge to his brother's voice that Richard hadn't heard in a long time.

'What do you mean? What's she been through? Or can't you tell us?' Karen concerned voice came across from the sink where she was draining potatoes.

'It's... classified. She was stationed somewhere else for a while and lost nearly all her team. She came back, and we had a few... problems on base. It hasn't been pretty, but she kept it together, her actions saved lives, even though it put her and the baby in danger, so I don't want you trying to run comparisons against Nancy, Rich, because Nancy was a good woman, in retrospect, but they aren't even in the same league.'

Karen turned to look at him, her eyebrows raised. 'I'm surprised you let her do that.'

John realised how close he'd come to giving away information he shouldn't in his irritation with his brother. 'Yeah, well, I couldn't have stopped her, Elizabeth's stubborn as a mule at times and she had the advantage of being right.'

'Oh yeah?' Karen grinned.

'Yeah,' he couldn't help the smile, 'she does that a lot. I better go see how they're getting on,' he jerked a thumb in the direction of the living room and spun on the stool, hopping off and heading down the hallway.

Karen exchanged a look with her husband. Richard raised an eyebrow and shrugged, he was starting to get used to his brother keeping most of his life secret from them, but he couldn't say he was comfortable with it, and Elizabeth was fast looking as if she was going to be a part of that.

'He's got it bad,' Karen remarked.

'Yeah, I only hope he knows what he's getting into.'

'What do you mean?'

'C'mon, honey, he turns up out of the blue telling us someone'll be joining him, doesn't tell us she's quite obviously pregnant. She's gotta be, what? Five months, more or less? And he never mentioned it before now? I don't think it's his.'

'Keep your voice down,' she hissed,' so what? Isn't that between them?'

'Yeah. I guess,' but he sounded doubtful. Karen rolled her eyes and pulled the salad out of the fridge, she cold only hope he'd keep his opinions to himself around Elizabeth, she had the impression that John was in deep with this one.

He left the kitchen but lingered, listening to the hushed conversation in the kitchen. Eavesdropping might have been rude, but it had a tactical advantage, and John wanted to know in advance if he needed to head off trouble.

When his brother reached the point of doubting that the child was a Sheppard, he'd heard enough and sloped off down the hall, looking for Elizabeth and his niece and nephew.


	28. Chapter 28

Dinner hadn't been completely disastrous, Elizabeth reflected. Richard had taken the children up to bed, and Karen insisted she stay off her feet whilst John helped her clear away. His brother hadn't said much, but his sister-in-law was doing her best to make Elizabeth feel welcome.

'We know your work is classified, Elizabeth, but can you tell us anything about what you used to do?' It was a safe enough question and she relaxed slightly.

'I worked as a diplomat for the UN, negotiating treaties, the release of prisoners, neutral territory, safe passage for aid-workers, so on and so forth,' Elizabeth hadn't actually worked for the UN, it hadn't existed in her reality although a similar organisation had. But Lizzie Weir had.

'Anyway, now I mostly translate and act as liaison for the Project.' The Project, a bland name for an incredibly exciting programme, operating at the cutting edge of science and research, holding the future of humanity in its hands. Yet again, Elizabeth regretted that the Programme was a secret in this universe, although he doubted she would have been able, or even allowed to explain about alternate realities, even in her own reality.

Karen, she found out, was an administrator for a charity whilst Richard ran the family business. Even though both men left the majority of the conversation to her, Karen and the children. It was obvious that the two of them didn't really see eye to eye.

And Richard, despite his attempts at friendly overtures, bordered on actively disliking her, though she suspected it had more to do with John than herself.

The man himself appeared a few moments later as she was wondering the room, looking at books and the photos adorning the mantle. 'The children were quite taken with you, Elizabeth, do you have any children of your own?'

Which, she supposed, was his lead into learning more about her without his brother around. She had the uncomfortable feeling of being under scrutiny, something she hadn't felt since she was about nineteen and meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time.

'Only the one on the way, but a... close friend has two of his own, since we practically grew up together, I've already had a little practice.' Little enough it was, she reflected, her visits to Earth few and far between. All she could hope for now, was that they were well and happy. 'They're lovely kids, I had a great time with them today,' she commented, turning back to the photos, the one of an older man and woman, standing close together, the shot rather formal.

'That's our folks,' Richard's voice sounded right behind her, making her jump and she nodded.

'John looks very much like his mother.'

'Yeah, everyone says that. I think he inherited his tendencies from her as well, going into the Airforce like he did, out of the blue, he was a test pilot before he sent to Iraq. Did he tell you?'

'Yes,' he hadn't, she'd read it, but there was no need for Richard to know that, 'he still loves to fly,' she added, an involuntary smile curving her lips.

Richard nodded, 'he always did. He was forever getting into something new, and dangerous if he could help it. John's never been reliable in his life.'

Internally Elizabeth bristled, but she kept the peace and smoothed her face into a bland smile. 'Really? I'm surprised, considering the responsibility on his hands now, you wouldn't think he was once like that,' actually she could see is clearly, John was still somewhat of a risk-taker, bt she wasn't going to tell Richard that. 'I guess things must have settled down, after all, he is a Lt. Colonel.'

'I've never had that much faith in the Airforce's judgement,' came the reply and Elizabeth looked up, meeting his eyes through the mirror. Soft diplomacy wasn't going work. She turned, crossing her arms over her chest, her expression somewhat darker.

'I appreciate that you and your brother have your differences, Richard, and as much as I would like to be a on amicable terms with you and Karen, I'm not going to join you in slandering his character. I would hardly be here if I thought so little of him.'

'Oh, but the family's loaded, surely you knew that.'

So that's where this was coming from! Elizabeth wondered briefly if the ex-wife Nancy had received the same grilling when she had the temerity to join the family. Probably not, John had warned her how much his father had liked the woman. As the older brother, Richard obviously felt it his responsibility to oversee the family welfare.

'Whether or not I did is between John and myself. I'm sorry Richard, but I'm not going to justify myself to you, the only person I need to do that with is your brother and my superiors, both on very different grounds.'

Another nod, and he turned away, taking a seat in a comfortable armchair by the fireplace. 'You have to understand Elizabeth, he mentioned you were coming, but that's about all, and whilst my brother and I have settled a few of our differences, we still see very little of him and hear even less.

'I know,' she remained standing, easier on her feet in an uncomfortable situation, 'and I wish it didn't have to be that way, but our work is classified.'

'I sometimes wonder how much actually is classified and how much John hides behind that excuse.'

'It covers a large portion of our lives, Richard, he's not lying,' she was moving from any type of diplomacy now and into defensive mode.

'Including you and him...' he waved his glass in the vague direction of her midriff as if that explained everything.

'That's a little more complicated. I was MIA for a while, John had no idea if I was alive or dead, and then there was a good chance I would have lost the baby, so we kept the news to ourselves,' it wasn't an outright lie, and Richard didn't know her well enough to realise when she was bluffing.

'So, you two are involved, you're pregnant, and you're missing in action, presumed dead, and yet he never says a word to us. Come on Elizabeth, see this from my point of view. It's a little far-fetched, even for John.'

'Not if you knew the whole story, and since that's something we can't tell you, you're going to have to trust him. Richard, isn't this a conversation you should be having with him?'

He shrugged, 'I already tried; he's not very forthcoming.'

'But somehow you thought I might break protocol?'

Sorry, Richard, you're just not that intimidating, not compared to what I've had to deal with these past few months. She felt anger flood her in the wake of that thought, it wasn't his fault, but Richard's cross-examination was just one more thing she didn't want to face, and something she realised suddenly, she didn't have to deal with.

'I'm afraid I'm rather tired Richard, I didn't sleep on the plane and I've been snowed under with work. If you want to know anything more, you'll have to talk to John.' I've had enough to deal with lately. She didn't say it, but she hoped her tone conveyed it.

He nodded, raising his glass, 'goodnight Elizabeth,' and watched her go, trying to push away the thought that there was more of his father in him than he cared to admit.

Elizabeth left, wishing him a good night, although she'd rather have had a pair of Athosian fighting sticks and an hour in the gym over sleep. She went looking for John, wondering for the first time if his sister-in-law had given them a room to share.

She met him coming out of the kitchen. He took one look at her face and reached out, grabbing her arm, 'hey, what's wrong?'

'Richard,' at the sound of his name, John's eyes darkened and he went to move past her but Elizabeth caught his arm. 'He's worried, that's all; after all, I'm a stranger who just walked into their lives and their family today.'

'You don't sound convinced.'

'Because I've just been insulted and I'm angry as hell, but if you go in there now it'll only make things worse. He needs to accept me on his own terms, John. Karen and the kids already have, that's three-fourths approval in less than twenty-four hours, leave it alone.'

'What did he say?'

'Not now,' she blinked rapidly, leaning heavily on his arm. 'I'm sorry, I'm just tired.'

It was only half a lie, but also a partial ploy. The siblings needed to cool down, and Richard was only going to do that under Karen's influence, and John was only going to with space and time. Ironically, they had that in abundance, but it was all back home.

She yawned, not faking it. The day was fast catching up with her. 'Okay,' John finally capitulated, but if he upsets you again-'

'You'll do something appropriate. Noted.'

'Okay,' even though he didn't look as if it was, 'c'mon,' he led her upstairs to the guest room Karen had moved them both into and closed the door behind them. 'Alright, what did he say?'

Elizabeth turned with a sigh, he couldn't leave it alone. 'I can't be sure, but I thinks he believes we're faking the whole thing, he might even think the baby isn't yours. John!' for a second it looked as if he was going to bolt, 'you promised!'

'Did not.'

'Near as.'

'Dammit! I heard him in the kitchen earlier, but I told him to back off. I thought he'd have the sense to leave you alone, he had no right upsetting you, no right to think-'

'The same damn thing I actually said.' It was brutally honest and he turned back to face her. For a moment neither of them said anything, and then he moved, pulling her close, his mouth covering hers in a bruising kiss.

For a split second she didn't react, taken aback by the sudden intensity, but then her arms were around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. Somehow they made it to the bed, shedding clothes as they went. The brakes they had tried so hard to apply failing as they ran together, out of control.

Skin met heated skin, and desire ran through her veins like fire. His brother, their early difficulties, the constant guilt, the fear, all fled and the world faded leaving just the two of them behind, old memories lost as new ones burned a path through body and mind.

Any thoughts he'd had of taking it slow and easy were. When the last scrap of cloth disappeared from between them, he buried himself deep inside her, lost in her scent and a primal need to possess her, to prove to them both that she belonged right here, right now, with him, not some shadowy figure from another reality.

Satiated, they rolled over and he collapsed to one side, careful to avoid crushing her. Reaching out he pulled her back against him to settle in the curve of his body. Her hair smelled faintly of flowers, he noted distantly, like her skin, and he breathed it in, one hand sliding possessively around her waist.

Something needed to be said, but there was too much between them and now wasn't the time. He left the conversation for another day, slipping his arm under her head to kiss her again. She turned, cradled against his shoulder, leaving tousled curls spread out on the pillow behind her. Cocooned in each other's warmth, they slept.


	29. Chapter 29

Sheppard awoke to a soft knocking on the door and the lately rare, though he didn't like to think of it, heavy warmth of another body lying next to his. He was lying on his back and rolled his head to one side to look at her. Elizabeth was still sleeping, curled up on her side, using his arm for a pillow. As much as he hated to disturb her, the knocking on the door became a little more insistent.

He slid his arm out from under her, hearing a small murmur of discontent before she dragged the duvet closer and wrapped her arms around it, evidently deciding that she needed more sleep. He pulled on his boxers in the faint light that streamed through the curtains and cracked open the door.

Karen stood there with an apologetic look on her face. 'Hey, sorry to wake you, but it's getting on for ten, and the kids are going crazy.

John blinked, scratching his head and the conversation last night came flooding back. Kids. Funfair. Before he and Elizabeth headed back to the base. He nodded, 'okay, I guess we stayed up a bit late last night. We'll be ready in twenty.'

'You sure? If she needs to rest...'

'No, it's fine. She won't want to miss it. We'll be down soon.'

Karen nodded, and slipped away as John closed the door behind her. He leaned against it, watching the sleeping figure in the bed and rubbed away the lat clinging threads of sleep. They'd talked for hours last night, not something he thought he could do. The first two nights they'd shared a bed, it hadn't been talking they were interested in, but as his brother had calmed down over the past two days, their own issues had come to the fore again.

Isn't it supposed to be easier than this? he thought to himself, but then, his brother was right about one thing, he'd never chosen the easy way.

'I guess that was our wake-up call?' her voice, still heavy with sleep, drifted up from the bed, and he crossed the room, sliding back onto the bed and wrapping an arm around her.

'We've got a while,' he murmured, trailing kisses down the smooth length of her exposed neck.

'Not if I heard right,' she replied, stretching languorously. He didn't bother to reply, one hand stealing down her skin before he suddenly froze.

'Oh yeah, she's a morning person, unlike me.'

'What? How long have you felt this?'

'About a month.'

'Why didn't you say?'

'There've been a few things on my mind, John, I'm surprised you felt anything actually, but she's been getting far more active this past week,' she replied, turning to face him.

He buried in his in the hollow of her neck, breathing her in, the movements underneath his hand had stilled and he slid his arm round her back. 'So have you.'

He felt her smile, before she pulled away and he looked up with some surprise, 'where're you going?'

'Shower,' Karen had been good enough to give them the en suite guest room, and it reminded her of the convenience of her Atlantean quarters. 'You promised those kids the funfair, and Karen's probably told them we're leaving in half hour. Unless you want both of them up here, dive-bombing us awake, you'd better get moving.'

'She wouldn't let them.'

'If she's anything like my sister-in-law, yeah, she will,' her answer floated out to him and seconds later he could hear the spray of the shower, beating down. He rolled over and slid off the bed with a sigh, he didn't think Karen would let them, but Elizabeth was probably right.

Fifteen minutes he was downstairs, having left Elizabeth to dry her hair. She hadn't wanted to bother but winter was settling in and he'd told her she'd freeze if she didn't. She wasn't used to Wisconsin weather.

She joined them a few minutes later, stealing a slice of toast from John's plate and accepting one of the few cups of coffee a day Keller had allowed her from Karen. Both children barrelled into the kitchen, 'are we going yet? Is every body ready!'

'Shush. Not yet. Let John and Elizabeth finish their breakfast in peace,' their mother admonished, 'do you want anything else,' she added, directing the question to Elizabeth.

She shook her head, rising with the coffee mug in hand, 'no thanks, I'm fine. You guys ready?' she asked the kids, who were practically jumping up and down in the doorway.

'Yeah! Can we go now?' Emily had inherited the same lack of patience her mother and her uncle displayed. Elizabeth wondered for a moment if her daughter would look anything like the little girl standing in front of her now.

The thought brought a melancholic feeling on its heels, and when they were alone in the hallway, John pulling their coats from the cupboard, he noticed her quiet mood. 'You okay?'

She raised her eyes, ignoring the habit of a life to shake her head slightly. 'But I will be,' she added with a smile. The children ran past, released by their mother and raced into the front yard as Richard backed the people carrier out of the garage.

The funfair was huge, big enough to accommodate the favourites including merry-go-rounds and Ferris wheels. Elizabeth found herself being led firmly towards the later and installed in the next carriage that came round. John climbed in beside her, pulling down the bar and sliding an arm along the back of her seat.

'Smooth,' she commented and he laughed.

'I thought so,' came the reply, as the Ferris wheel took off. Elizabeth left him disappointed, leaning forward to watch the world drop away beneath them, it felt somewhat akin to the moment Atlantis had risen from the oceans depths and she turned to find a far away look in John's eyes. He was thinking of home.

The carriage jerked to a stop, allowing more passengers on, and they sat, swinging gently at the top of the wheel. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder as John pulled her back. Turning her round, he bent his head and kissed her.

When he broke away she looked confused, 'not that I don't appreciate it, but why do I get the feeling that was more to do with you than me?'

'It was,' he replied, sitting back in his seat. 'I finally kissed you at the top of a Ferris wheel. If I'd actually made that bet with Rodney, I'd be a hundred dollars up.'

'You bet you could kiss me at the top of a Ferris wheel?'

He shrugged, unrepentant. 'It was a couple of years ago now, but McKay and I were sitting on the pier, and the conversation devolved into a betting game-'

'Colour me surprised,' she murmured.

'-and he dared me to get a girl from the Atlantean team to the top of Ferris wheel and kiss her. I said Teyla, I knew she'd go along with it, but he said that was too easy and told me it had to be you. I called off the bet at that point. He spent the rest of the week cocky about the fact that I wouldn't do what he dared.'

'I'm surprised Lizzie's hair never turned grey, dealing with the pair of you,' she returned and felt him temporarily freeze. 'John?'

'I still can't get used to hearing you speak her name. I know we're supposed to keep things separate, but sometimes the lines blur and I can't tell you one from the other, you're more alike than twins, you are the same person.'

The carriage stopped and he pushed the bar away, helping her climb out. She followed him off the ride, 'I know what you mean. But... neither of them would blame us John, maybe we should try to stop blaming ourselves, let the guilt go.'

'I don't think it's that easy.'

'We need to give it time; we both knew this wasn't going to be easy.'

'What wasn't?' Richard's voice intervened as the others joined them, catching Elizabeth's last words. She caught John's eyes and looked away, leaving the field to him.

'Spending so much time on base, we don't get much of a social life out there,' he covered, crouching down in front of his niece, 'hey Emmy, you got candy floss. Wanna spare some?' he asked, cutting off follow-up questions.

Emily giggled, pulling her candy floss closer and shaking her head. 'Ah well, fair enough, I guess I'll have to go buy my own. You guys want some honeycomb?'

Eager nods and he grinned, standing up, 'c'mon then. Rich?' and he led them away, not giving his brother a chance to be alone with Elizabeth, leaving her and Karen alone together.

John's reply had reasonable enough, but Karen had seen the expression on Elizabeth's face, as if she verged on giving away state secrets. For the first time since her brother-in-law had arrived on their doorstep last week, she began to wonder if everything was as straight-forward as she'd tried to convince her husband it was.

'You seem more relaxed,' she remarked as the two of them stated walking, 'I hope you've enjoyed staying with us. I know Richard wasn't particularly welcoming, but he's just reserved. He worries.'

'I know,' Elizabeth replied, 'I think he could use a little more tact, but John's no better on that score,' she added with a disarming smile, taking the sting from her words.

'Uh-huh,' but there was obviously something on Karen's mind. 'Is everything okay between you and John, I don't mean to pry, but the kids are excited about the idea of a new baby cousin and...' she left it unspoken.

'And you don't know whether to encourage that or not. I understand, but it's complicated, and I'm not just saying that. In the end, yes, we'll be alright, but everything takes time.'

'John told us you'd lost some people on your team; he intimated you were close to them.'

'In a job like ours, I think that's inevitable,' Elizabeth replied, 'but I wasn't the only one to lose people. I'd like to think I'm the last, but that's wishful thinking, even if we all lived in a quiet suburb with peaceful lives, things happen. But life doesn't stop, it can't.'

Karen smiled at the sound of optimism in her voice, whatever this woman had gone through, it had dealt her a great deal of harm, but not enough to damage the hope that obviously lay at the core of who she was. She hoped to get to know her better in the years to come, no matter what happened between her and John.

'You will keep in touch? You personally I mean, not just John.'

Elizabeth looked surprised, but she smiled, relaxing under scrutiny for the first time. 'I'd like that,' but any further conversation was cut off as the children returned, clutching bags of honeycomb with John and Richard following. When he reached her, John handed over a stick of bright pink candyfloss, his expression unreadable as he watched her.


	30. Chapter 30

Elizabeth yawned, trying to suppress it, but having little success. She'd spent most of the last two days travelling, from Wisconsin to Nevada and back to Colorado, as well as the emotional meeting she'd had with Lt. Baker's family.

'I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for her, I was a civilian under her care and she died saving my life.

It hadn't been strictly true, but Elizabeth couldn't tell them everything. Baker had died during the explosion, Ronan had found her alive following the Wraith attack. But if Baker hadn't fought him, Elizabeth would never have had time to pull her weapon. Publicly, it was sabotage of a research base, and Elizabeth had been working there at the time, Baker had pushed her to safety and taken the brunt of the explosion.

A mother's tears, so like Jessica Weir's and Elizabeth had had to contend with telling two woman their children had died in the line of duty in the space of a fortnight. Marie Baker had already known, but to meet the woman who had been there brought it all back.

Thank you for coming all this way to see us. Ever since she was a little girl, she wanted to join the Airforce, her grandfather was military, and she adored him.

Her father had been a tall man, and it was obvious that his daughter had taken after him. Elizabeth had refrained from saying so, not wanting to add to their grief. John had stayed quiet, adding little to the conversation.

It was an honour to serve with her, her CO said the same, he couldn't be here, but he sends his condolences. Everyone on the team will miss her.'

There was little enough else to be said. Marie Baker had done most of the talking, dealing with her grief in the only way she knew how, telling them everything she could remember about her daughter, until John had finally extracted her and they'd driven in silence to the airport.

He watched her across the table now, her eyes shadowed. She was exhausted and he wished Landry had waited to debrief them on the IOA's assessment, but it couldn't be helped, they were shipping back to Atlantis first thing tomorrow, providing their physicals came back clear.

'Basically, they're willing to leave you alone. For now. They can't pull Teyla back to Earth since she isn't under their jurisdiction, and both you and Jonathan are from an alternative reality, but since your daughter will be born here, they may try to use that as leverage later if they want you back on Earth.'

'Sir?' Sheppard's voice carried a defensive tone under the question, and Landry couldn't blame him He wouldn't want someone using his daughter as leverage against him, but Miss Onar had intimated that Elizabeth might want to consolidate her case on that ground, against future possibilities.

The General held up a pacifying hand, 'I never said would, Colonel, just may, I want you to be aware of that. Jonathan's formal adoption may place him in the same position. But it's all speculation.' He looked over at Elizabeth, her eyes, not her mind, focussed on the conversation.

'We're finished here. Colonel, escort Dr Weir to her quarters,' he rose, fixing her with a stare, 'get some sleep Elizabeth, you look even more like hell than last time. Consider it an order.'

'Yessir,' the reply came with a tired smile and she stood, heading for the stairs with Sheppard on her heels.

The results came through at oh-six-hundred the next morning. John knocked and opened her door, slipping inside. He'd slept in AF quarters on base and found it oddly difficult to sleep himself after leaving her, already dreaming, in the guest quarters.

She barely glanced up from the laptop and the scatter of papers on her desk. He leant over, glancing at them. Ancient. So she was back to working on the translation.

'Didn't Landry order you to get some sleep?'

'I did. I slept for nearly sixteen, John, I think that's enough. I woke up at oh-three-hundred, spent an hour trying to get back to sleep and gave up. But I've made a lot of progress, I think the baby's got the right idea, you can get a lot done in the wee small hours.'

'It'll never last,' he replied, 'we're cleared for travel to Atlantis, but Dr Lams wants to see you in the infirmary before we go.'

'Do you know why?' she replied, pulling the storm of papers together, much to his surprise. It normally took longer to pull Elizabeth away from her work.

'No, but she said not to worry, even though it was an exercise in futility telling you that.'

'She's not wrong,' Elizabeth muttered, shutting down the laptop and slipping both items into her bag. She went to lift it, but he forestalled her, 'I got it. I have to collect my gear, I'll see you in the 'Gateroom, ten minutes.'

'Yes sir,' she replied, grinning, before leaving him to it and disappearing down the hallway to the infirmary,

'Ah, Dr Weir! Follow me,' Lams indicated her office and Elizabeth followed her inside, the distant worry suddenly taking a leap forward. 'It's nothing to stress yourself over, but you're slightly anaemic, here,' she handed over a small container that rattled, 'instructions are on the packet. One a day, with a meal.'

'Okay. Is it serious?'

'No, it's a common issue during pregnancy, you just haven't taken in enough iron in your diet. Dr Keller can advise you further. Have a safe trip.'

'That's it?'

'Yes, you're free to go. Give Dr Keller my regards, and congratulations, I heard the adoption went through. I've updated my medical records this side to include yourself and Jonathan. I'm sure Dr Keller will keep me apprised, that is, if you don't return here for the birth,' she remarked as she walked Dr Weir out of the office.

'I guess that depends on where I'm needed at the time,' Weir replied. 'Thank you, Dr Lams.'

'You're welcome. Good bye Dr Weir,' and she hurried away, leaving Elizabeth to find her back to the 'Gateroom.

She was the last to arrive. Ahead of them on the ramp, sat a loaded supply dumper, and as she took her place with the rest of the Atlantean personnel, the inner circle of the 'Gate began to rotate, the chevrons locking in one by one. It was such a contrast to the Atlantean 'Gate that she watched, fascinated. The wormhole established , but it was another few moments as radio contact was made before a voice rang out over the 'Gate room.

'Travellers, you have a go!'

The slow moving load of supplies went first, disappearing through the event horizon, and behind it the travellers fell into line, making their way one by one through the shimmering blue circle. Elizabeth fell into step next to John, the last ones to leave, and she turned, looking back to see General Landry standing in the control room. She raised a hand and smiled, before turning back.

Beside her John, bathed in the soft blue light of the wormhole, indicated the event horizon, one bag on his shoulder, the other hanging by his side. 'Ready to go home?'

'Yes.'

'I'd carry you across the threshold, but I'd only get us into trouble.'

'Isn't that in your job description?'

But before he could reply, she stepped through, into the event horizon, propelled across the stars and the space between galaxies, back to Atlantis, a gleaming city floating in the midst of blue oceans. She didn't need to be there to see it; it lived in her heart as much as it existed on a world somewhere in the depths of the Pegasus galaxy.

Behind them, Landry watched as she disappeared, Sheppard on her heels until a voice shook him out of his reverie. 'Sir, all travellers have reached their destination.'

'Thank you, Walter,' he leaned closer to the console, his voice carrying across the expanse of the stars. 'Atlantis, this is SGC, all clear.'

The wormhole disengaged, the travellers returned home.


	31. Chapter 31

She stood on the balcony outside the General's office, looking out over the gleaming city. In her hands she held a book, leather-bound and worn, it was written by two women, leading different lives, but sharing a common heart, shaped by conviction, passion and hope.

Sparkling with unshed tears, Sarah Sheppard turned eyes as green as her mother's on the old man standing next to her, a clay pot between weathered hands. They had taken her Earthside for the funeral, but now she had returned.

Opening the diary, she found the last page that had been written, its hand shaky, as if the author were weary or penned the words with an ageing hand. Smoothing the pages in the breeze that had sprung up, ruffling her unruly black hair, she began to read.

I should have died a long time ago, when Atlantis was old but we were still young, when she lay half in darkness and her new children had yet to grow up. But I cheated fate, and took up the reins of a stranger's life, closer to me than any of my kin. I took her name, and placed it with others in my heart, hoping to do them all justice as I lived on where they could not.

Through the years, I have loved and lost, I have travelled far amongst the stars and I have been privileged to work alongside the best that humanity has to offer, in spirit and in mind. Together we have blazed a path through the darkness of space, joining others who have reached out from their homeworlds to touch ours.

Once upon a time, a great people who fell to the ravages of time, said any hope with the future lay with us. Although they are gone, we carry their name with us, like the ones I bear, and hope to do them justice as we take their memory into the future.

Now I pass on those names to you, and hope I proved worthy enough to join them in your heart as you move into the future without me. Most of all I commend the names Elizabeth Weir and John Sheppard who died that we might live. You are as much their child as ours, and whilst our lives are forever separate, our spirits are one.

You have a whole universe to explore, there is more to be done and to be discovered than I could ever hope to dream of in my lifetime, seize the possibilities and never be afraid to move on. We will always be here, in Atlantis, waiting.

Elizabeth Weir

Her father, his once black hair grey, his skin worn like the leather of the book, watched her as she closed the well-loved pages and held them close against her heart.

Did I do right by her?

Lizzie would have been proud.

Good. So would he.

He gently lifted the bronzed lid from the pot, turning it in wrinkled hands to scatter her ashes over the Ancient city. As the wind caught them, and bore them away, he thought he heard an echo of her voice, the last words she had ever spoken to him.

It was more than easy to love you, John, it was an honour...

Another voice broke across the memory, so like her mother's, it ached his heart.

'Welcome home, Mom.'


	32. Chapter 32

A short scene between Keller and McKay

It was another month before Jonathan was released from the infirmary and Keller took him, essentially, 'home', with the advantage that taking him into work wasn't only possible but necessary, at least for now.

Rodney knocked at her door, figuratively speaking, barely an hour after she got off her shift. She opened the door to find him standing there, looking as if he shouldn't be. Raising an eyebrow, she stood back, letting him in.

'I heard, you, uh, took him home. He's, er, okay then?' he asked, peering over her shoulder to look for the infant.

'Rodney,' and she could hear the edge of exasperation in her own voice, 'if you wanted to see him, why didn't you come to the infirmary?'

'Well, you know, it was in the middle of the infimary.'

'Yes?'

'With… people. Lots of people. Watching.'

And suddenly, she understood. He hadn't wanted to go to the infirmary because he wasn't sure how he would react, and Rodney hated exposing his feelings in front of anyone, even her at times. She smiled, taking a step forward and sliding her arms around his neck, 'you're such a softie, ya know that?'

'I am not,' he attempted to drag together some semblance of injured pride, but it dissipated when she kissed him and for a moment he forgot why he'd even come here. She drew back, still smiling, 'want to see him?'

'Yeah.

Jennifer turned, pointing to the sofa and went over to the window where a cradle stood, 'Ronan brought this back from the mainland, he actually managed to look embarrassed of thinking of it, if you can believe that.'

'Knowing Ronan, yeah, I can believe it. I wonder why our other selves called him Jonathan.'

'Elizabeth told me they named him after John Sheppard. He died warning them the Wraith were on their way, thanks to him they saved three-quarters of the city.'

'Hero of the hour.'

'I think there was something between him and Elizabeth though, she doesn't like talking about him. I'd lay a bet that the baby's his.'

'Jonathan?!'

'No,' she replied, laughing, 'Elizabeth's.'

'Oh yeah, that takes some getting used to.'

She grinned, walking across the room with a small, blanket wrapped bundle and placed him gently in McKay's arms. The smile on his face broke when he saw the tubes.

'But-but I thought he was okay?'

'Oh, he's doing great, but he's not there yet. A couple of weeks, I'll be able to discharge him.'

'That's great,' Rodney enthused. Suddenly the smile fell, 'wait, that's not great, we'll have to send him back to Earth!'

'Yeah,' Jennifer slid onto the sofa next to him, leaning over to stroke Jonathan's cheek, 'I've been thinking about that.'

'What are we going to do?'

'You're the brains of this outfit genius, you think of something,' she replied, smiling down a the infant, 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.'

'But-'

'No. Now hush, enjoy the moment, is that so hard?'

The smile made a reappearance as he watched her, 'no, no it's not. Mind if we enjoy more than just a moment?'

'We got all night,' she grinned, and leaned on his shoulder, watching the baby sleep.

'I love you,' the words came out of nowhere.

'I know,' she replied.


End file.
